Hey guys, I’m 20 years old and face difficulties abstaining. I’ve been doing it since 2016-17.

Man I’ve deleted social media apps, I just need help on blockers, I can’t seem to find any.

 

Day 0: I am starting to consider those images as relapse from now on, so here is the thing. If I see those images, I will consider that a relapse. So I’m gonna start over fresh.

 

Since I was considering those images as a relapse, its still day 0 because I did have a peek in the morning. But I was able to turn the whole day around and I have lesser regrets for today. I just have to make sure to stay on the correct path, I found a blocker and it has helped so far.

 

I’ll check it out

 

Couldn’t find it, share it with me please.

 

Day 1: Easiest day of my life, not a single image, not even in my head, maybe porn is the reason for all this but its only day 1 so lets wait and see more. The urge should still be there but I had no urge.

 

I feel like I’m recovering because I feel productive now as well. Never felt like this before.

 

Day 2: A few urges in the morning, came across a few images accidentally, I would usually consider it a relapse because I saw those images but I literally felt no urges when I saw those images, I mostly reported all of them even though it wasn’t even porn. As long as I don’t look at them with intent, I will not consider it a relapse. Still, I gave them the reason that its explicit content. Anyways, I was able to complete one of my college assignments, I mean almost completed it (I got the material, just have to write it down on paper, I just arranged all the content I needed in word file in one place and sent it across all my devices so i could work on it from whatever device in whatever place). But mostly I’ve been praying and its all good. Might as well complete another assignment tomorrow, If I could just be productive, I might make it through all this. In the past, whenever I could not focus on studies enough, I used to end up relapsing because it somewhat helped, I will make sure that doesn’t happen this time because my exams start next month. Its day 2 now and its still not over yet but I might just sleep after a bit of time. It would help me during the morning prayer because I wish to go to masjid, inshallah I will wake up in the morning and pray fajr in the masjid. I hope I don’t stay awake too long. Good night guys.

 

Out of disgust for the vile pornography out there, which I had watched very early in my teenage years, I can fortunately say, I don’t get aroused by it in the same way, I always do it because of pornography so if this thing goes away, everything might just go away. That’s the first issue of staying at home and if alone. I feel like this situation has been somewhat solved for me at the moment. The more I am outside, the lesser it becomes. The more I’m outside and involved in the real world, the more I can stay away from it. That has been settled. Praying helps, reading quran helps, learning quran also helps a lot. Studying has also been helping lately, I have newfound inspiration and motivation to complete my things on time and study, I’ve always been early wherever I go, its a good habit of mine. The second thing is college, the females there dress way too badly. So much revealing clothes, that’s an issue for me, as long as I don’t go to college, I feel like my urges are much easier to control, I was able to lower my gaze and not look at anything of that sort even after coming across images of that sort multiple times. You might question why I come across those images so much, I have been watching documentary types of videos on youtube of disgusting people who make living off of treating people unjustly, so those images did pop up here and there and I’ve been able to ignore it all so far. I feel like I’m on the correct path. Let’s end this together. WILL UPDATE ON MY DAY TONIGHT, Thats when my day ends after 7-8 hours but I’ll be busy watching UCL quarterfinals with my brothers. If I don’t respond in the next 8 hours, that means my day went well and I haven’t relapsed, If I relapse before those 8 hours, I’ll let you know here but I probably won’t so its all good!

 

Wait what? I don’t really know the rules here, and I’m serious and committed. And I’m trying my best.

 

Not much urges these days brother, I haven’t had any for the past 2 days, I believe it is because I’ve been praying on time.

 

Day 3 is over guys, on day 4 now.

 

Few more hours and my day is done! Day 4 had no urges and I watched something which confirmed something I researched long ago, it felt good and the video was somewhat based on morals. or should I say haya. Haya is very important for a muslim, if you have haya, you stay away from shameful things. May Allah provide us with relief, with afiyah.

 

Just to remind myself that it has been around 6 days that I last crumbled to those images and 4 days since I looked at them with intent. I feel stronger than ever and I have been feeling determined everyday to go for a really long streak.