Problem with exhibitionism

I have been doing a good job at fighting PMO, but I think I'm in trouble with virtual exhibitionism. I just feel the need of showing myself in front of the cam, and i also find myself looking for other exhibitionists frequently. I got interested on a nudists lifestyle, but even if I'm not pursuing s3xual intentions / attempts, I feel that deep down it's just an excuse to show myself naked. I'm gay, and ofc I prefer to look for other like-minded guys. The problem is when this starts disrupting my flow and focus at the moment of working or doing other important things, it's like I'm crazy wishing to be free to be able cam. I tend to add friends, exchange pics, or cam, and after some time delete them. Not sure about how to deal with this. I have installed and uninstalled reddit several times looking for exhibitionist and nudists, I say that I will not be back doing the same thing but I just feel strong urges and it's a matter of time to get back at it. I feel that the stronger this behavior becomes itself, the closer I'm to get back on PMO, because the urges of showing evolves, so it can easily become in sexting.

What do you think that I can do?

(DM open btw, thanks in advance! I could be using this thread to update about my progress, but I would really feel comfortable on DM, maybe finding an AP. Also if you experiencing the same things or similar we can support each r other if you want)

 

As I can understand, did you overcome that behavior already? You are completely right in what you just said, and that's why I'm worried and want to solve this, to not get out of control more than what I feel I'm am now. Even if I prefer men, I have noticed that my pleasure and excitement comes from the reaction of the watcher 99%, and that's where the trap and addiction is. Its a dark world that makes the fact to show seems inoffensive, when it's a a serious matter with implications in health and life in general

 

I really appreciate your words. I will be doing my utmost to heal for sure, I don't want this for my life. I find it hard to deal with this problem alone, so I'm coming to this community

 

I can imagine how uncomfortable it is to know that something that personal is still on internet in the hands of who knows. That's another reason for me to want to stop this, because I do the same with my pictures. Lately I have decided to delete everything I share to others, to protect myself a little bit, but at the end I ended up deleting and blocking contacts, just to add new ones later, so It is a vicious circle. I'm glad you overcomed it and continued to stand firm in your decision not to come back, even if you eventually feel tempted. This a good reads to be on alert constantly, cause you never know when a fall is coming, as they said: "Prevention is better than cure".

I must say that your testimony and personal experience has motivated and reinforced me to want to continue quitting this addiction, so thank you bro

 

I really appreciate the time you took to write all this and for the video, my friend. I'll watch it for sure! I loved that what you said of: "better than fighting the old is building the new" and that of "While we cannot control the urges, the waves ... we can learn to surf". This is gold.

You have a good point, and I guess that's that main reason of relapses, fighting urges. The resistence at some moment is broken by the tension. The challenge is to build the new without distracting with the old, because the old will be demanding to be feed

Today is my second day clean since the last cam relapse (no PMO), doing my best to finish it with success. I'm committed to this, and that kind of material that you just shared is really helpful. Thanks again!

 

Coming here to update about my case. I had a relapse and reopened an Skype exhibitionist account, and now trying to persuade myself to stop it again. At least I didn't find activity there, just opened the account and saw contacts. I'm aware that I'm not gaining nothing from it, but it's just so impulsive. I disabled the account again and it should be deleted on 30 days if I don't reopen

 

I hadn't thought about that idea. Great idea brother, thank you! I think if I change the password to one I don't remember and close the account it will be impossible to reopen it even if I'm frustrated. In fact I have reopened it over 3-4 times so far, interrupting the account deleting process. I will do that.

Last night I had a real relapse in that Skype account, though, but I will take this measure that you just mentioned! . And try to fill that with something healthy. I'm trying to focus more on workout but it has not been that easy either, the discipline, but I won't give up

 

That's a great idea and yep, I'm working on it. I mean, I have good reasons to quit the exhibitionist behavior. Very strong reasons like, not to expose myself to unknown ppl, take care of my energy and spend more doing healthier things. Being more productive, etc. In spiritual terms, I want to give myself the value I have.

The problem is when I lost the route, and my addict mind wants to forget that during the temptations, it's like nothing worst, just the pleasure, but I guess that means I need to work more on those values and reasons to quit this behavior...

So far all good but still facing urges... I'm also glad that I finally can't reopen my Skype account

 

Sorry to hear that you are fighting the same issue man. And thanks for your words. I think we can success! If we fall we have to get up, that's the only way bro.

And don't worry about your English, its alright, mine it's not perfect either hehe (not my native language)

 

Its really encouraging to read success stories. I want to get there too bro. Congratulations for those 13 months clean!


This behavior somehow makes us feel like slaves, there is no more choice than quittting it. I remember what it feels to be free, without the urge of showing off or PMO (which is not my main problem, but still and part of it sometimes).

I won't give up and will join to the success stories group, thanks for sharing! Reading this starting my day strengthens my motivation tbh