100 Cold Approaches

101/1000

Two half good approaches today and 4 interactions in total. Had a pretty good conversation with two girls in class. I touched one of them on the arm and asked her about some pretty personal topics. Turns out she is from the same City as me originally. She was a lot more interested in talking after that light touch than before. Its not the first time I have talked with her but the first time I made a move. Then another half approach at the gym. I took a girls spot without realizing it. I turned around and asked her if it was her spot and she told me "yea, one set left". I got up and sat on the bench next to her instead and told her "sorry, I didnt see you there". She replied with something like " I am positively surprised you even bothered to move". The two last interactions today was just me greeting two different girls while walking past them. I didnt meet a ton of people today but I improved on the few interactions I had. I have to start considering ways of picking up girls at the gym. I am there almost daily and I cant remember talking to that many girls there. Most of the times it is me getting approached and not the other way around which is lame.

 

I wont count any of the interactions today but I havent been completely inactive. I sat in the middle of class instead of picking a corner to hide in. The cute girl I was hoping to see didnt show up and she seems to be avoiding me already. A group of girls sat in front of me and discussed a bunch of problems for most of class. I followed my plan which was to show indirect value and ping the group a few times. That was a success. The teacher had his hands full so I just dropped some knowledge on them from time to time when they were stuck. I didnt intend to do that more than a couple times but they warmed up to me and more or less accepted me as part of the group. It also turned out one of the girls knew who I was and what classes I was taking. 2 of them told me goodbye at the end of class. I also befriended a dude. He strikes me as one of the cool guys and keeps pretty solid eye contact with everyone while talking.

 

No approaches I want to count since last time although I have talked with some people. The thing is that I am often approached without making any effort at all. A girl in yoga class said "hi" which I honestly think is a pretty bold move from a girl. It made me talk to her but thats hardly a cold approach. More like a "warm approach". A girl in one of my classes accidentally mentioned my name while talking about someone else. She seemed pretty embarrassed. I am not all that into her but cant find a good reason why. Another girl asked to plug her pc into the wall socket at my table. All the tables were taken but she could have picked any of the about 10 other tables. I said something along the lines of sure "take the chair next to me as well, its comfortable" I didnt think that sentence trough and it didnt work. She left her pc at the table and I dont really know where she went (she was gone for an hour).

 

103/1000

Did two proper cold approaches today. None of them were great but I am happy I am testing the boundaries of my comfort zone. I talked with a girl before class. I was really early and was just hanging around waiting. An old lady was handing out cupcakes. I was looking for coffee and there was a huge roman pillar between us so the approach was doomed to be a little awkward. I rounded the pillar and asked her if she too was waiting for class. I dont remember the exact exchange but it was short, around a minute. She was visibly uncomfortable and I didnt try to drag it on. (Edit: I didnt cold approach the old lady btw. It was a girl in the same spot). Second approach was when I locked eyes with a girl and decided to say "hi". I recognized her from somewhere but not sure when or where. She got mildly startled and sat down somewhere close but out of sight.

Had a few warm approaches today as well in class. The teacher decided to be a proper dick and we had to sit and do nothing for an hour even though we had done everything he asked us to do. One of the girls in my proximity decided to chat me up spontaneously. She pointed at my refresher gums and told me that she works in a clothing store and that she found a pack of those gums in a dress yesterday. I told her that I had nothing to do with that dress. She continued and said it was a womans dress and that her suspicions that I had something to do with it was increasing. It was a good chat. We bantered back and forth for 10 minutes or so. The second warm approach was also in class. I was having a presentation in genetics in front of two girls. I was trying to draw some sort of DNA structure but my drawing resembled a penis. I didnt realize until the girls started giggling. One of them asked me if I was nervous. Though question and I deflected it instead of answering. Told her "maybe" and started scribbling down stuff to explain this weeks topic.

 

104/1000

Made one cold approach in class and had several missed opportunities. I turned around and asked a question I absolutely didnt need the answer to but I needed an excuse to talk. I had been in class for about half an hour and I had been listening to two girls talking behind me. I decided to turn around to get a look at them and instead of turning right back, I asked them a question as if that was my intention. I talked with them for about a minute before turning back. Then I noticed a girl sitting in front of me started showing signs of interest. I didnt act on it. My line of thought was that she was sitting a little too far away. Then I went from that class to another class and the cute girl from last week sat right in front of me. I chickened out and didnt talk to her during the 2 hours including lunch break I had to make something of it.

I still think I am in a pretty early stage of this whole proccess. I am stacking tiny victories. I need to open up a lot more around people. Approach anxiety is strong. I even have a hard time opening dudes. Its no difference between dudes and girls actually. I dont actually feel anxious if anyone starts talking to me so its not social anxiety per se, but it just feels absurd to chat with strangers out of the blue. I dont have a single negative experience recently but the fear is still strong.

 

110/1000

I made a psychological breaktrough of sorts. Since my last update I made around 6 approaches and got approached once. Made a few approaches today. In class, girls sat down all around me really and I decided to ask the girls in front of me if they was feeling good about the test which is in a few days. It was a short chat and in the second sentence I made an off hand comment about how we need a coffee machine in our building. Then I dropped the conversation. I wasnt that attracted to either of them and they seemed tense. The two girls one row further ahead was checking me out though. To me they seemed a little too far away to open but maybe I should have. During break I left my place and opened a group outside the classroom. Asked if they knew of a coffee machine. One of the girls responded that there is a cafeteria just accross the street. I replied that it is a little expensive and she said "yea, true that". Then I disengaged. Before the last class of the day, I opened a group of three girls.

Two of them had a warm response and asked me some questions. They were pretty shy and looked down a lot. Then I stopped talking and after a minutes silence they asked me "and how about you?". In class, I sat at the back row because it was the only place with a computer charger. Two girls sat behind me. After a while I turned around and asked them if they had done chapter six. They were talking a lot and joking so I figured opening them would be a good idea. They answered "We are doing a little bit of everything. Are you stuck?". I locked eyes with one of them and she is the prettiest girl I have seen all week honestly. She kept solid eye contact for 4 seconds or so, didnt flinch and seemed really open. I didnt feel nervous. My next sentence was "No, I havent started on it yet. I was just wondering if it was hard". She replied that she thought it was the easiest chapter except something about schrødingers equation. When we left class, I told her "good luck on Thursday". She gave me a big smile and told me "you too!".

One girl chatted me up out of nowhere today as I was leaving for class. She seemed pretty extroverted and kept me locked in a conversation for a good 5 minutes. She thought she knew me from somewhere, asked me to help her with a problem and asked me a few personal questions, all within the span of a few minutes. I didnt find her that attractive but she seemed like a cool girl. As I left, she told me "see you around".

 

111/1000

Said Hi to a girl while waiting for a test today. She replied with a shaky voice and went to the bathroom shortly after. She returned and I asked her if she felt like she was ready. We started chatting back and forth. We sat next to each others in the classroom and chatted for 10-15 minutes before the test. We kept strong eye contact the entire time. She told me that she have seen me around a couple times but didnt know my name. We exchanged names.

 

Cant count this one. Got approached by a girl today. She insisted I have been at her appartement which is an odd way to start a conversation. I met her at the club. There wasnt a lot of people there and I went home after one drink. There wasnt any people to talk with really. Except that girl. I didnt find her that attractive. She wasnt ugly or anything but didnt flip any of my switches. I feel ambivalent about that one. I could obviously have made something happen but didnt. Beggars cant be choosers, right? But at the same time, I am too proud to lower my standards. Maybe I need to visit a different city. I know too many people here. The female bouncer knew me by name (I dont know hers).

 

Warm approach today. Roadtrip with my sisters best friend. I was going to my cabin and she needed to be dropped off close by. We get along quite well. We had a good talk about all the recent drama between her and their third friend on a trip to France recently where the last friend which I have known for years broke out of the friend group for good after a huge argument. Then she knew about the drama in my family too from talking to my sister. We listened to music and ate Easter candy for the two hours it lasted. Got a hug even though its only the second time I have met her.

 

What do you think would happen if you started to get more “aggressive” with your approaches and “go for the close” more often..

meaning either asking for the number in a romantic way or even going for the kiss? And I don’t mean like if the girl is obviously not interested, but just like if the girl seems either neutral or somewhat interested

what are your thoughts on this?

 

112/1000

Back from Easter Holliday. I almost skipped out on class today but it was obligatory so I would have opted out from Genetics class if I didnt show up. I showed up half an hour early and a girl approached me and asked "can I sit here". I told her yes and realized this was an approach invitation. She basically cold approached me. She sat down and didnt say anything more. I asked her if she was having the molecular lab too. I also asked her if she was tired since she seemed pretty tired. She replied "yes" and asked me how my Easter holliday was. Told her I spent some time at my cabin. Then we started talking about Genetics and how we both think the topic is way harder than neccessary. We didnt talk for too long after that. I accidentally made her aware of something she had forgot to read before the lab so she sat accross from me and tried to watch a 20 min video on how to perform the experiment.

I was half expecting to chat with her until we entered the classroom but she ran off and I thought she ended up skipping the whole thing. In class, we had to work together in groups of two. She entered class 2 minutes late and by that time I had already paired up with the dude next to me. She came over to my table and asked to borrow a pipette. She returned it 10 minutes or so later and told me thanks. I wanted to talk to her a little more but the experiment required full focus. I was done an hour before the rest of the class and just went to the gym and then back home.

I will probably see her again sometime next week. I have been cold approached multiple times recently but this girl was actually hot and caught my attention. I wish I was a little more proactive while I had the chance before the lecture but all in all, it was a pretty decent interaction.