Great Job Paul! The porn and masturbation is the 1st stage in a larger disease. When you find a strange lump and go to the doctor early they can fight the cancer before it gets too large to treat. In Sex Addicts Anonymous I am finding that many of the people that ended up in prison over their acting out started out just like all of us with porn then it escalated to strippers or prostitutes and became more extreme. We have a chance to cure the cancer before it kills us. Your doing great with your streak and keep that in mind. Your curing your tumor before you become terminal. God Bless you my friend and I hope you get the life you dream of. Sober Paul dreams of.
I think isolation is a common problem for addicts which is why many find support/recovery in a group setting like church groups or SA/SAA/CR/Insert acronym here. Plus these group settings have the added benefit of giving a safer environment to practice accountability and vulnerability. It’s common for addicts to have trust issues, which translates into intimacy issues, especially within a relationship. Maybe look for a group meeting on the weekends?
Thanks so much for the nice words! I wish the same things for you hm church groups... never thought of this. I'm not a strong believer in christianity anymore, but maybe i should read the bible first, i tried once and couldn't get through But yes joining some group meeting on the weekend is a great idea. i will look into the church groups, thanks So far nothing happened with my streak. It's day 7 now. I feel the urges, they're getting stronger. I think the next couple of days will be hard. I have to keep myself busy somehow. I will keep you updated. (Btw. is this a bad idea to keep posting here and i should rather use the journal section?)
If you start reading the Bible start with books Mathew, Mark, John or Luke. Don't start from the beginning or you may get overwhelmed. Those 4 books are the same story from different perspectives but those are the basis of Christianity. The rest is extra information for a deeper dive into the core concepts including history, poetry, proverbs, prophecies, and letters between followers. The core concept is that God loves you even though you are flawed, and he sent his son to die to pay for your flaws so you can be with him. All you have to do is ask God for forgiveness and believe that Christ was God's son and he died to pay the price for everything bad you have done and God will take you under his wing, protect you from your sins and fix your soul. Not that the repair is always a pleasant experience but it will be for your own good. We are all going to be judged for what we do in our lives but for those that have asked for forgiveness and accepted Jesus Christs gift, they will only be rewarded for the good things and not punished for the bad. I would also recommend finding an NIV version to read. They have translated it into modern English so you can understand the main ideas better.
U never did a NoFap. U had 3 days NoFap than edging and relapse. So dont say NoFap lead u anywhere, because u did not even started.
prostitution is a huge money drainer... And due to human's addictive nature, they will by nature crave more and more expensive prostitutes. thats why its use to blackmail politicians and even businessman. the world isnt run by money; money is subservient to the sexual impulses and cravings.
Keep going bro. Same thing is going on with me. Porn just doesn't hit it anymore, seeking escorts for me seems to be a problem as well. Let's keep going bro, Message me if you want. I even had an urge about seeing one last night and even now. Tough times bro. Imagine it this way, peeking at an escort site is no different from peeking at porn. Its the same thing bro, you'll get the same rush in dopamine.
i used to had this problem, i was like three months without PMO and after a while i was feeling the urge to have sex with some girl, in that case i remember that i have sex with friends but i was carrying on without MP, so when i came home after waork on friday and i was alone at home an horny i remember spend a lot of money in scorts ( cheap scorts) that only i was looking for oral sex. Nonetheless, i felt much better that if i fap myself. it's was during for a short period of time, but i can feel this feeling now... very guilty. i came over this situation having a few girls for dating with, i put a lot of effort in to find those girls, but they understood that I didn't want any kind of relationship and just wanted sex. so try with this way... donwload any date app and try to find a girls there.
Speaking as an ex-Christian I would say there are some good churches and bad ones. The last church I was in wasn't good at dealing with porn. I told the Pastor I struggle with porn and a few weeks later he told everyone during a Bible study that I looked at it. Not every Pastor will do this but there are some church leaders who should not be in a leadership position. I would say trust your gut and if something doesn't seem right leave the church. Learn about spiritual abuse and be aware of the signs. There's plenty of stuff about spiritual abuse online. The podcast The Rise & Fall of Mars Hill takes a deep look at spiritual abuse that took place in a church in Seattle. As for the Bible, maybe read the Epistes first. I think the Book of James is the best one. If you like Game of Thrones you might like the Book of Judges. There's some real crazy shit that goes down in that book. Ecclesiastes is a good read if you're feeling hopeless. Anyway, in the past I thought about seeing an escort but have firmly decided against it. It was listening to an interview with Rachel Moran that convinced me it was a really bad idea.
Hello guys Unfortunately i relapsed right after my last update. The urges got very strong in the middle of the night and i couldn't sleep. Now i am on day 4 again. I didn't look at the escort website in those 4 days, and i plan to not look at it again. Not even a peak. If i peak at it, this is always the beginning of the end of the streak and i usually relapse within 2-3 days or sooner... No real urges so far. It's the weekend again and i'm bored to death, nothing to do, but i am not exactly looking forward to monday either, so yeah... not sure what else there is to say. I will try my best to do better this streak, at least 10 days but obviously as long as possible. Thanks for the recommendations about the bible. When i read it last time, i started all the way in the beginning with Genesis and i got bored quickly. Probably a big part was also that i am not a native english speaker and so i sometimes didn't understand these "old" english words.
I should have been more specific. With relapse i meant fapping, god forbid i visited an other escort... I'm on day 8 now, the first 6 days were very easy, no urges at all. yesterday (day 7) was hard, i had strong urges and went on the escort website unfortunately but i didn't fap, today and tomorrow it will be important to not go on the website again, i will try my best.
Hello guys, Today is day 15 of my nofap streak, unfortunately i went on the escort site 3 times in these 15 days. But i am still proud i made it to 15 days and i hope much longer (1/6th of the way there to 90 days). I made a journal https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...ay-challenge-escort-addiction-edition.349446/ so i won't post here anymore.
Why pay for escorts when you can get it for free down at the Bing? Seriously though, this shit is hard, good luck.
Well guys, this is it. I just relapsed on PMO. My 44 day streak comes to an end. This streak was my last hope and now it's gone. I just realized how abnormal all of this is. Normal guys just turn 15 and they join the sports club and then they get a girlfriend. They don't try to not touch their penis for 90 days and then get a girlfriend. That's just not normal. The truth is, i was just dealt a shitty hand and rebelling against that, doesn't turn the shitty cards into good cards. There is just nothing i can do. All my life, i just lived on the hope that things get better eventually, i never actually felt happy. Somewhere in my future i saw my happiness, and yet that future never arrived and it never will. This is it, i don't have anything left in the tank... it's over.
44 days is an amazing streak and you have made a ton of progress in that time. Get back on the horse and start over. Even if you slipped your brain had 44 days of healing. If you can do it once you can do it again!
In my opinion this thread is a bad advert for nofap. Not because of @Paulie G. but because of those shaming a young sexless man and insisting that relieving yourself of sexual desire must be an addiction and can't possibly just be an understandable human function. I won't get into the whole escort thing but I agree with most of what Paulie has said in here. The urge for sexual release is one of the most powerful physical feelings a man can experience, you need some iron level mental strength in order to resist and this isn't just a one time thing and then it goes away, it is unrelenting. The hypocrisy is also evident given those dishing out their sage advice either have a sexual partner or haven't even managed to quit themselves. Sexual release is as close to a human biological need as it possibly can be without it actually being one, if you are one of those who has built up the mental fortitude to repel such desire then congratulations, you make up a tiny, tiny percentage of people in the world. Now I've intentionally left the porn part out of the equation as there is more of a psychological element that makes people keep going back to it. I absolutely do believe it's more than possible to quit even if you have no other sexual outlet and that ultimately there is no valid excuse as to why you can't, even if it is difficult. I'm going to tell you one thing now though @Paulie G. and that is that you need to let go of the idea that some forms of porn aren't too bad, it is all shit and it is all messing with your mind. You may not think that watching that sexy chick on youtube trying on clothes is hurting you much but it is. All your brain sees in that moment is a sexually available woman. The cogs start turning, the adrenaline rises, the dopamine is flowing, it's all the same thing. You may as well just skip to the part of watching her or some other chick getting banged because it's still the same process going on in your brain. You also need to drop this idea that you've been dealt a bad hand. According to you you're a successful, good-looking, in shape, tall young man so what bad hand have you been dealt exactly? How did you get a degree and a good job? Hard work. How did you get in good physical shape? Hard work. So why can't you go and get a girl? What's stopping you? Saying hi to a girl surely isn't as hard as lifting heavy fucking weights. You even said yourself you brought a girl home despite barely being able to string a sentence together, clearly it's not that hard. Stop looking at women on screens and stop being a pussy, basically.
I'll let you in on another secret Paulie, the majority of those who acquire a high streak only manage to do so because they either have a sexual partner or they've blown out their libido and have little physical urge to fight against. You then have the remaining 0.1% who are true warriors. You will often see people here relapsing even after a year or more just because their partner left them or they couldn't have sex for a week or two.
Thanks, i agree. I thought that i can really do it, when i reached 30 days or so. But the truth is, it probably only worked so long, because i had a wet dream at least once a week for the first 35 days or so. Then i didn't have one for about 10 days and the urges got very strong. I went on the escort site on thursday and later in the evening i was fantasizing and couldn't sleep because it was so goddamn hot in my room. The urges got pretty crazy and at some point i just sat up, and PMO'd and puff... counter goes back to 0. Because of not even 1min of not paying attention (i was half asleep too). But one could say i was looking at the site during the day too, so... yeah, whatever. It doesn't make a difference anyway. I didn't feel any different on day 43 than i feel now on day 3. I think it's all just a cope. "Oh when i just do the 90 days, my life will suddenly be better then." Hmm no it probably will be the same, except you didn't masturbate for 90 days. I actually tried to drop this believe a long time ago with affirmations and guided meditations, but it didn't work. Well the bad hand i've been dealt is that i was shit on through my childhood to the point where i can't speak like a normal person. I can only speak very low volume and even ordering something at a restaurant or fast food counter can be very uncomfortable depending on how many people are listening. This basically renders all the positive attributes that you mentioned completely useless. What's the difference between a guy that is 6'1'', fit, good looking, makes 100k per year (if you can call that successful btw) and a guy that is fat, lazy, ugly, 5', living on welfare, if they both sit at home looking at the computer screen all day every day? You'll probably say "just leave your house", i did that many times, but obviously nobody talks to you if you just walk down the street. I managed ask for directions a couple of times, but that was it. I also joined a sport club, but i just go there and do the sport, i'm not really conversing with others apart from the usual small talk bs.
