Day 5 - Youngling. There is no positive benefits to pmo. Somewhere in the depths of my mind I was convinced over the years that I got something good in return from my pmo addiction. But it is empty in the end and I gain nothing from it. All that happens is that I lose vital energy to live my life.
Day 0 - Youngling. I have relapsed again. I think that I don't have a clear idea in my mind of why I've chosen to move on from pmo. Every relapse it seems like an automatic sort of thing that just happens to me. But my therapist said to me that there is a line of reasoning I accept, even if its unconsciously, reasons I've agreed to to make it okay to relapse. It must be a very old line of reasoning that I agreed to because I became addicted as a child. I think I agree to relapse because it simply feels good and makes me feel temporarily comfortable. What I need to do is make a list of new reasons why I want to move on from a pmo life, and onto a much better way of life that can only exist without pmo. The same kind of reasonings why I don't smoke or do hard drugs. I will not agree to feel discouraged from relapsing, but simply think and work to find out why I relapsed and how I can improve from here. It's the worst thing to feel discouraged and demoralized because then I'm ultimately defeated by not putting in any effort anymore to get over this habit. I have made progress since I have started my nofap journey and I will keep making progress until I've finally overcome this.
I've relapsed, and found the source to be my lack of willpower, and one of the supplements I started taking, which ramped up my horniness levels to the extreme. I'll be back to counting the days from Sunday.