1.How is hard mode different from normal mode? 2.Is hard mode the best way to go about rebooting? 3.Does it have any drawbacks? 4.Is is unhealthy not to ejaculate for too long of a time? For example 3 months and over...
1. Hard mode means not having any intercourse during the reboot process. 2. I think so--but then I'm unmarried and don't sleep around, so it's my only available mode. 3. Not if you're trying to heal your mind from the dopamine addiction that is PMO. 4. Nobody ever died from not ejaculating.
Not necessarily. Wet dreams are highly variable. A sizable minority of males never have then--not even once. Most assume that they don't have wet dreams because they masturbate as much as they do, and they think that they'd have one if they suddenly stopped. Kinsey suggested, to the contrary, that they tend to masturbate as much as they do because they don't have wet dreams. Hence, if they stopped masturbating, many still wouldn't have wet dreams. I've only ever had two possible wet dreams in my life, and I was dreaming of masturbation both times; so I honestly believe that I masturbated in my sleep. Does that count as a wet dream? Who knows? As of today, I haven't ejaculated in 165 days, but I haven't had any wet dream--several sexual dreams in which I dreamed an orgasm, but none with any release of fluid. Then, you ask, where do the excess fluids go? Well, in those males who don't ejaculate either awake or asleep, the fluids are typically released a little at a time during urinations. They are often diluted and washed out unnoticed, but some non-ejaculating males report a bit of recognizable semen released without sensation at the end of many urinations. So, to summarize, it would be best to say that "If you body needs to drain semen, it will find a natural way."
I don't know about the no ejaculation thing. A man in Belgium lost an arm because the excess fluid backtracked and inflated his arm and exploded it, right there on the subway. Several women were impregnated from standing too close. Jk I wouldn't know about that, I'm only on day 24.
LOL!!!!!! I think it's OK not to ejaculate. Hard mode seems like a great way to do it. It's a good start for a brand new you.
Thank you! My 165 days (now 167 as I write this) are since O. (I was an uncummed edger before I found NoFap and decided to stop M as well.) I'm only on day 128 since M. Either way, though, I can say that it's much easier. I still have urges to bust one, but I can take it for granted that I won't act on them. Not fapping is a lifestyle--for now anyway. I suppose that means that I'm rebooted. My current goal arrives in two weeks, and I'm up in the air about whether I should extend it. At least it's good to know that I am capable of whatever I decide.
Congrats man and big respect for reaching 167 says! Would you say your you feel like your general libido is strong enough for intercourse yet? I'm aiming for 150 days but have definitely accepted the fact that I may not be ready at that time. I've read many people just know when they're ready. Would you say you have this feeling?
I'm not married, and I don't sleep around, so intercourse isn't on my agenda. However, I have no doubt whatsoever that I could accomplish it. I never had PIED, and I didn't experience any flatline, so I could have accomplished it at any point before or during my reboot.
Again, massive respect. Not many people out there like you today. I'm assuming you're waiting for a long term relationship to arise before having sex? Very rare these days but it's a good thing
Well, this is a secular group for people of all (or no) faiths; but surely you are aware that many people have believed for thousands of years that intercourse if for married people. If I choose that as my moral standard, then why is that a bad thing? Note that I didn't tell anyone what they should or shouldn't believe or do. I merely replied to a question about intercourse by saying that it wasn't on my agenda. If I can tolerate the beliefs of others, others should be able to tolerate mine. Peace?
That reply was not addressed to you, if I intended to call you out I would have quoted you instead of santeria13... I cant have any issue with you not sleeping around...it is your choice, who am I to try to pretend that I know what is better for you? On the other hand santeria13's response drives me nuts, why on earth do people in 2015 still consider abstinence a high moral virtue leaves me with a pokerface.
Because it's respectable to want to wait to find a long term partner who you can trust before becoming sexual with them. I myself, would probably not do the same and will pursue sex, once and if I'm ready. I respected his choice not to do so because it takes a lot of self-control and is a big thought out decision. What's your problem with that and why are you insisting on talking in such a disrespectful manner towards my view towards that especially considering the fact that I do not share his view, despite finding it very honorable. You come off as a very bitter person and this site is not one to bash people for their opinions. 2015 as in part of the time period where it has become the norm to pursue meaningless one night stands for women and men alike? Personally I find the days of abstinence more respectful and much more contributive to loving and trusting relationships. There's a big reason divorce rates are higher than ever and that's because humans in general have become lacking in self control and morals such as the ones possessed by @mv8652 . Our current culture of sleeping around with whoever we want, whenever we want despite the lack of emotional connection is detrimental to eventually settling down with a loving and faithful partner. I've already elaborated that I would probably take the chance to have sex once my reboot is complete, before completely settling down but I know it's definitely not the best way to find somebody as a life partner. You attract what you are at the end of the day.
"Because it's respectable to want to wait to find a long term partner who you can trust before becoming sexual with them." I believe that the term "respectable" is quite ambiguous in this context... Notice that this quote is not merely a personal opinion, it is a strong positive affirmation that needs to be demonstrated, yet you provide no logical argument to support this claim and even if you did I would have asked you to provide a definition of the word "respectable" so we know we are talking about the same thing since this word means different things to different people. Also, if it is respectable to wait to get married to have sex it naturally follows that having sex before marriage is not respectable...and again we run in the same problem...strong claim that needs support besides just the affirmation itself. For example I can say :It is not respectable to wait to get married before having sex!...and it would be just as valid as what you just said (meaning not at all). Instead if you say : I believe/think...etc it's respectable to want to wait to find a long term partner who you can trust before becoming sexual with them, this changes the matters completely since it is a personal belief and you are under no philosophical obligation to support it with reason and evidence. "I myself, would probably not do the same and will pursue sex, once and if I'm ready." Now...this is interesting...why? Because we run into the following problem: you claim that it is respectable to wait but you admit that you would not wait given the circumstances given above. So from this I can conclude that what you are doing is not respectable...right? But because we still have to agree on that definition of the word I need to stop here because further arguments from my side could be flawed because of this. "I respected his choice not to do so because it takes a lot of self-control and is a big thought out decision." You are making 2 big assumptions to which you cannot possibly know the answer (unless you asked @mv8652 and you didn't). It might be true that it took a lot of self-control from his part not to sleep around but how do you know? How do you know that for him not to sleep around took little to no self-control at all from example...?! Maybe he is not that interested in sex or finds the idea repulsive or who the hell knows what might be the case for him...we cannot know until we ask him! What you are doing is called projection...you are confounding his persona to yours and since for you it would a lot of self-control in your mind it follows that for him it would be the same case, well people are different! How do you know it is a big thought out decision? Again the same problem as with the first assumption...have you been in his head? Can you read minds? How could you know if he in fact didn't give too much of a thought about this? Just because you would have done it does not follow that this is the case for everyone! "What's your problem with that and why are you insisting on talking in such a disrespectful manner towards my view towards that..." My problem is that you make positive unsupported claims about the morality of sex outside of the marriage. There is not one bit of disrespect in what I said in the previous replies. I just asked you one question and I would have waited for your answer without saying anything else but because @mv8652 replied to that question I addressed him instead. The disrespect you felt I guess came after this :"On the other hand santeria13's response drives me nuts, why on earth do people in 2015 still consider abstinence a high moral virtue leaves me with a pokerface." Am I right? Well, if you read it again you will see that I never said anything about you, it is only my emotional reaction to what you said...I didn't tell that you are wrong or called you any names, I just expressed my frustration. "...especially considering the fact that I do not share his view, despite finding it very honorable." So you are rather surprised that I might have a problem with this? On the contrary I am twice as concerned with this as I would have been if you would have said that you would rather wait to get married to have sex. In that case you would have been consistent with your values! You have to realise that you find honorable not to have sex before marriage then doing the opposite is dishonorable so you are a dishonorable person then? "You come off as a very bitter person and this site is not one to bash people for their opinions." This might be a projection as well...I am not saying that it is false..maybe I am a bitter person, personally I don't find myself bitter most of the time but I have my moments. A more appropriate word would have been angry... " 2015 as in part of the time period where it has become the norm to pursue meaningless one night stands for women and men alike?" You are doing it again and again my friend...what? Well...making empty statements without bringing any logical and philosophical rigor to the table. You cannot know what is meaningless, nobody can! Also nobody know what is meaningful as well. Why? Because meaning is entirely subjective, what a person calls meaningless another calls meaningful and you cannot say who is right because there is no right and wrong when it comes to subjective preferences. "Personally I find the days of abstinence more respectful and much more contributive to loving and trusting relationships." You put personally first so...I have nothing to argue against. " There's a big reason divorce rates are higher than ever and that's because humans in general have become lacking in self control and morals such as the ones possessed by @mv8652 ." My knowledge about divorce rates is almost zero and what I will say are merely speculations. I think divorce rates are increasing due to there being a larger pool of possible future parterres willing to be your wife/husband. In the past church made it harder for people to act in this way because through its power you were severely ostracized for divorcing....but were people happier? Would you stay in a relationship not being happy just for the sake of percentages? I don't think so... I think that people were always just as lacking in self control and morals just as today people are...if it is more apparent now it is due to a lot of factors: the internet, media, communism which held people in place even thou they were not saints, totalitarianism and so on. Again, prove me that abstinence is a moral and preferable to promiscuous sex. Give a valid argument. "Our current culture of sleeping around with whoever we want, whenever we want despite the lack of emotional connection is detrimental to eventually settling down with a loving and faithful partner." You are neither right nor wrong on this one...just that it depends. I can point to you people who sleep around who later settled and had great marriages and I can show you marriages where 2 virgins married each other and their marriage failed just as quickly...and I can also show you the exact opposite case...what we really need is statistics. I am aware of some and I tend to agree with you on this point. " I've already elaborated that I would probably take the chance to have sex once my reboot is complete, before completely settling down but I know it's definitely not the best way to find somebody as a life partner." Why are you doing it then? "You attract what you are at the end of the day." I don't get how this is completely related to the case in point but...okay.
I'm impressed with the way you argued my point and I don't mean this with any sense of sarcasm. You are right that I should have written that 'I find' or 'think' it is respectable rather than stating it as a fact and made my argument seem slightly biased. You are also right that I may have projected my thought train on to that of @mv8652 but I am of the opinion it takes a certain degree of self control to not have sex with a girlfriend or partner before marriage unless as you said he doesn't find sex that appealing at all. However, as a former porn and MO addict as most on here are, it would require a certain deal of thought and control to be able to settle with such a predicament. I do find it honorable because it will honestly be very hard to find a partner who will think along the same lines in todays day and age and I personally admit I am not patient or willing enough to go about it the same way, simply because I feel like I am limiting my options and would prefer to keep an open mind in terms of possible romantic connections. Anyway, you argued your point very well and I agree on the most part except for how black and white you made my view seem. Whilst, I find his choice respectable and hard to do, in my opinion, and hence why I said it was honorable; I have a different view myself and don't respect myself any less for choosing to do so. We are all different and are apt to making different compromises dependant on how strong our corresponding values, which differ amongst everyone are. I respect Surgeons for what they do but would never be able to do such a thing myself because I'm queasy at the sight of blood. We are all different and require different things in order to be content and happy with ourselves. Similarly, I find tibetian monks and their life choices extremely respectable but such a lifestyle would not be appealing to me because of many reasons but it doesn't mean choosing not to live like them means that I am automatically disrespecting myself. It's just not the life for me. Whether I would one day choose to do for whatever reason is a different story. You pointed out that it is our definition of the word respectable that is the issue at hand here and I agree. I apologise for calling you bitter and it was I myself who was bitter in that moment and also for any grammatical errors because I am tired and just about to call it a night. All I was trying to say in the first place is that I 'admire' his choice, which I assume would be the best word to describe what I meant. My choice of words was poor, but I hope I've managed to clarify what I actually meant.
I will go point by point again...hope I am not being annoying. "You are right that I should have written that 'I find' or 'think' it is respectable rather than stating it as a fact and made my argument seem slightly biased." If we want to be really precise here...an argument is either valid or invalid, there are no biased arguments...there are biased opinions or beliefs thou. "You are also right that I may have projected my thought train on to that of @mv8652but I am of the opinion it takes a certain degree of self control to not have sex with a girlfriend or partner before marriage unless as you said he doesn't find sex that appealing at all." Right. "I do find it honorable because it will honestly be very hard to find a partner who will think along the same lines in todays day and age and I personally admit I am not patient or willing enough to go about it the same way, simply because I feel like I am limiting my options and would prefer to keep an open mind in terms of possible romantic connections." There are lot of things that are very hard but that doesn't evoke a feeling of admiration on my part based only on this characteristic alone (the one of being hard). It is very hard to find people today who are not using technology (in civilized countries) and equally hard to find a partner who will be against technology too but this doesn't spark any kind of admiration in me. But is it hard? Of course it is. So what? There must be something else beside abstinence being hard that you find respectable otherwise you would have to respect every miner on the planet because what he is doing is hard. "I have a different view myself and don't respect myself any less for choosing to do so. We are all different and are apt to making different compromises dependant on how strong our corresponding values, which differ amongst everyone are. I respect Surgeons for what they do but would never be able to do such a thing myself because I'm queasy at the sight of blood. We are all different and require different things in order to be content and happy with ourselves." But now it seems that the word respectable is redundant since you respect everyone for having different values and different interests this means that you don't even need to use the word honorable because in your eyes everyone who is acting according to his own values is a honorable person. "Similarly, I find tibetian monks and their life choices extremely respectable but such a lifestyle would not be appealing to me because of many reasons but it doesn't mean choosing not to live like them means that I am automatically disrespecting myself. It's just not the life for me. Whether I would one day choose to do for whatever reason is a different story. " The same aplies as the above. "I apologise for calling you bitter and it was I myself who was bitter in that moment and also for any grammatical errors because I am tired and just about to call it a night." I apologise too for saying that it leaves me with a pokerface...I could have phrased this in a less demeaning manner, I could have just said that I find it surprising that in our days people still think this way. "All I was trying to say in the first place is that I 'admire' his choice, which I assume would be the best word to describe what I meant." I am not admiring his choice because there is nothing to be admired in it of itself...just like there is nothing to be admired to you not choosing to go the same path. But this doesn't mean that it is something not to be admired...unless you believe abstinence is moral you have no reason to admire such a thing because it doesn't say anything about that person...it is empty, meaningless, insufficient to admire someone solely on this basis. A little rant: When I hear people saying that they will not have sex until marriage I feel sadness...Sadness because I know that for the vast majority of cases it is not their genuine choice...It is their families, religions, culture and so on that they never chose...they just happened to be born into it. They had to adapt to this medium in order to survive and when they grow up they are very repressed and embarrassed by themselves and their bodies, they are in great pain. They cannot differentiate between their beliefs and values from the ones of people around them, they think that when they feel shame it is theirs but in fact it is their parents and priests and teachers and they internalize their feelings of inadequacy and are blinded to seeing that they are not in fact theirs because they had to habituate around these people. It is natural for men in their sexual prime to be attracted to beautiful females and to want to have sex with them...and it can be a beautiful thing too...you can have casual sex with someone without hurting them, it doesn't have to be this way. Sex can be for fun too and there is no problem with that, and everyone who is telling you otherwise is managing his own traumas and anxiety rather than actually helping you.
No, it's not annoying but it would have been more simple to just say you don't agree with my viewpoint. We can sit here and nitpick word and phrases and particular opinions all day but the fact is we disagree on a lot of them so arguing this any further is pointless as neither one of us can be proved right or wrong. IMO, You are taking things far too black and white where there's no space in the middle for argument or reflection but I respect your opinion and hopefully you can do the same. You called me out for projection and assuming things but then you are assuming that anyone who chooses to abstain from sex before marriage is simply doing it out of religious/family or culture reasons. This is not the case. To sum it up, I admire his choice because yes, I would find it hard to do but can see the virtues and reasons in why @mv8652 chooses to do so and I am not religious whatsoever nor am I influenced by culture or family in that regard as I have luckily been brought up by two very open minded people. I am open to sex before marriage myself but can respect those who do not feel the same way. I do not believe in any religion in the slightest but I am capable of respecting those who choose to do so and can admire subsequent the reasons they have for it. It is not simply a case of if I don't do something that I find respectful that automatically means that I do not respect myself or decisions. That is quite a close minded view and one not open to further argument or discussion for that matter. Good luck on your reboot and again, you come off as very well educated and intelligent however our viewpoints differ to a large extent that can not be solved through such a discussion. No hard feelings.
"You called me out for projection and assuming things but then you are assuming that anyone who chooses to abstain from sex before marriage is simply doing it out of religious/family or culture reasons. This is not the case. " You missed the part when I said FOR THE VAST MAJORITY OF CASES...at least don't misrepresent my position. "I know that for the vast majority of cases..." I never said all cases and I never assumed that I know why mv8652 is doing it...I even said in a previous reply that there could be a bunch of different reasons and you agreed to it then but now you are under the impression that I'm seeing everything in black and white... Look: "Maybe he is not that interested in sex or finds the idea repulsive or who the hell knows what might be the case for him...we cannot know until we ask him!"
