I will tell you my story in a summarized way I started looking at pornography since i was 10 years old, at age 13 i had a trauma when i saw videos of my parents accidentally having orgies, i don't know if from that day on, I started to have a huge excitement for touching women while they slept. I am a 25-year-old young man, who before, it was very easy for me to have sex with women, but nothing turned me on as much as touching them while they slept, even after having sex with them. This fetish, brought me many problems, since when my girlfriend moved in with me, her sister stayed to sleep with us on weekends, and i could not resist entering her room and touching her, it is like a force greater than me, this caused my girlfriend to leave me, when she surprised me doing it. I did it not only to his sister but also to his mother. I cry out for help, I don't know if only I have that problem or someone here in this forum can help me I started nofap, because I think resetting my brain will make me stop having these problems, but I need people to help me know why I have this problem Please please, someone who can tell me that I'm not the only one, I really need help. Sorry if my English its not good, but im speak Spanish .
I needn't highlight how wrong your behaviour is, since you already seem to understand both the immorality, and frankly, illegality of your actions. The first thing you ought to do is avoid having people sleep over by you until you get yourself in order. A lawsuit will ruin your life if you are proven guilty. You may also have to register as a sex offender, depending on where you live- a title which will brand you as a potential danger for the rest of your life. To avoid this possibility, live on your own until you gain a strong sense of self control. My next advice would be to start small and then grow into bigger goals. The problem most people here make is that they aim to be perfectionists in a cycle that has been established and reinforced over many years. Failure is almost inevitable, but you must learn to rise from it and learn something new every single time. Start off with a goal that you feel you can accomplish. This may be only abstaining from porn which satisfies your fetish or it may be a complete abstinence from all of PMO. Pick a goal, set a period of abstinence and keep pushing till you achieve it. Once you're done, set a bigger goal and go for it. I would also suggest that you seek counseling for this. To act on an impulse is one thing, but to involve others in it is another level of addiction entirely. You will greatly benefit from some therapy and regular reinforcement of impulse control. Good luck. You can do this.
Thank you, i hope this challenge serves me, so far I have only been 20 days, I feel good talking about this with people who are doing the same, when I tell someone else it tells me that it is complete stupidity, that discourages a lot
You will meet people with a lot of different views here; some with truly warped ones. In times of doubt, let your conscience guide you to what is right. The fact that you made this post expressing regret is proof that your morals have not been washed away. You'll be fine, don't worry.
Hello I have some urges like you're saying but with guys, it's another face of the same coin. In my experience, it's an addiction you cannot beat by yourself you need spiritual and mind support. I understand the urge, and it feels uncontrollable but it is manageable. Think again without lying to yourself and you will notice you put yourself in such thrills. Either by not running or by feedin the desire. Immediately start to workout and learn to transform the sexual desire into energy to do things makes you better. Music, exercise, prayers, whatever. Just stop it without giving excuses because you have control. Also call an AP everyday even with if you don't want and say what you are doing, e not what you did. What matter is if you are still fighting without giving up doesn't matter how many battles you've lost. You will notice that if you act as if you have control you will realize you have it. Analyze yourself and write down what you can change and what you cannot. Probably you will notice that the desire you can't change, but all other actions there are ways to be stopped. You just ignore them currently.
It's a kick in the butt, knowing that that feeling never ends, I was glad to know that there is another person with the same problem, thanks for the advice, I will seek help
Yes buddy. Face it before you ruin your life more. It's you ruining it and not the desire. In my case I've exposed myself to so much diseases risks, crimes and self humiliation. In first attempt of pmo and self healing I have lied to myself and so many ways I couldn't notice, only someone else could see you and check if you're not cheating yourself, because it's so intense you pretend you want to stop but deeply you don't, you have an expectation that in some way you could keep it (what if she wants too... Or if she doesn't bother... You should know your fantasies) Crave for the help the much you crave for it and develop instant reactions toward healing. Cold shower, and self discomforts help you realize you can live with the crave and still being in control because you and only you is the captain of your life and not your misguided desires. Also, face you are addicted and sick. Don't try to minimize it because a single edging is going to posses you and bring back that death to your life again. In my case I couldn't look myself in the mirror for long, I need to pee quickly and with erection I need to pee sitting playing games or distracting myself, cold shower whenever the desire come to my mind, running and changing environment... Well, give you a chance and see for yourself the benefits of 30 days. And count sleeping with others a relapse. Think where it started, maybe you fed the desire the moment you knew you would sleep with someone else in the house, and that's the trigger so create physical barriers to avoid it and train yourself to do as trained when the trigger is on. Face it or take the shame it brings up to your life. There's no grey areas.
I think the other bros here have given sound advice. I definitely think you should get some counseling, specifically from someone who’s worked with sex addiction and fetishes. You gotta get to the root cause to understand and better control that urge.
I dont think I need to emphasize just how horrible the things you are doing are. What you are doing has the ability to completely ruin a womans life. This is the type of traumatic behavior that results in women experiencing anxiety and distrust for the rest of their lives. This is sexual assault, is illegal, and could land with you behind bars as a sex offender. This is even how some rapists are born. Do not allow anyone to sleep at your house until you have this under control. I highly recommend you research a sex addiction therapist in your area, and start seeing them, because this site sometimes is not enough to get yourself under control. You should not let this discourage you, but you have to realize the seriousness of your actions. You are a man. You have to hold yourself to a higher standard. If you cant control yourself, you're not a man, you're just an animal that cant control its impulses. I wish you the best of luck, and don't hesitate to reach out to me if you need more advice. This site is a good place to get info, but you have to actively make the decision to go get help before this issue ruins your life or someone elses.
You are still young, you can quit this crap and become a real man in time before you become a “real” adult (as in, not young). Don’t let this shit drag you down, but stop doing it. When you are a grown man, let’s say 30 y/o, you can look back and think “thank god that I stopped”. Young and dumb, we all do crazy shit, but this is something that should stay in the past, just stop. No harm this time, but who knows about next time? So stop.
