I fell, 11 days. It was too much of an Urge. As always PMO wasnt not enjoyable and I'm not going to beat myself up. I'm going to change some things around me that enable this behaviour and i'm going to constructivley journal my progress. I will defeat this. But the last 3 days were hell. I need to get to what that is....when that faze happens, i'm going to build a structure to not allow it to gain hold. Anyway i'm going to see you when i've cpmpleted day 1.
fapped/ PMO twice in two days after battling for 13 days. I am coming in again. wont give up that easily.
Day 2: went by smoothly no huddles. Guys if you have time please go by the success story forum. You can find motivation from other peoples stories. I read some stories today and I have come to five major resolutions; 1.) I want to be clean. 2.) I don’t want to just stop, I want to quit. 3.) I don’t want to be chained down any longer. 4.) I want to feel good about myself. 5.) I want YOU too to quit PMO with me.
I will start with you all. I am eliminating my triggers. The time of the day I am more likely to PMO is at night. I started shutting apps off, turned on my Safari content blocker, and place my phone under the bed. I am confident eliminating the triggers and reassuring myself that I am the master of my fate and captain of my soul willl get me through this. Porn has almost sabotaged my relationship and I am angry, excited, and motivated.
Day 1. Going through a tough break up. I can’t accept it is over because we are still talking but this makes me feel very low and that’s why I have been relapsing a lot lately.
First 10 days was easy no question, these past 2 days ive been heavily depressed. I just know that ill never go back to PMO and would rather die than do that. However i am feeling i have confidence that PMO will never again happen. It is just the fear and possibility of PMO that causes relapses. Stay positive and realise how good life is without PMO and how each day without PMO is a gift, not a struggle. Im gonna keep my head up and goddamn remember why i started. It is quite litterally victory or death. Thank god i dont bother with PMO anymore. I can return to having good self esteem and confidence, without guilt and shame.
I keep alternating my streaks between 7 days and 20-21 days. 20 days from now will be my new record high. Lets get this and beyond!