What Price Did You Pay? Consequences

I'd say that I lost my dignity, as well as part of myself. PMO made me an utter loser, and a stupid one at that too. I became lazy, apathetic, unable to appreciate my surroundings. My thoughts were clouded, I can't pay attention, and that led to some pretty embarrassing situations at school. My confidence vanished, and with it, my social life. I do have a circle of friends that I talked to back in high school, but it's nothing compared to others. I was afraid of being social, and only years of being forced to speak in front of an audience made it go away. I used to be able to talk to girls before I started PMO, but after I started, I could only discretely stare at them and imagine all sorts of fucked up stuff. The loser me had a crush, and tried very hard to woo her, even though said crush treated me like a fool, trash even. So, my dignity was fucked, and my very self is also fucked.

 

If someone is suffering from their habit and are still making excuses to support it, they haven't hit a low enough point. They are continuing because they can. As you said the wake up call comes when they start facing consequences. Eventually you will hit a point where you say "never again" and it holds. If it doesn't, then that means you want to experience even worse shit.

I also agree that willpower isn't enough alone. Willpower is the ultimate foundation, but if you're in a miserable situation with nothing good in your life, you won't be able to see things clearly. You want to stop but don't have motivation or support. Willpower comes into play when you're being tested. Things are going well for you and your situation is supporting you to move forward but then something changes. You have to withstand it. I see many relapsing when something bad or stressful happens. I don't think they realize that every time you can withstand a hard situation, the tougher it will make you. Next time a hard situation comes, you can sit through it, just like you did last time. It's like climbing a ladder, one of the pieces brake but you hold on and pull yourself upward. Something will always brake but you're still moving forward. Never backwards.

 

This is so relateable.
Although, I had some of these issues regardless, porn definitely made things worse. Especially after I deteriorated from more casual genres to transwoman and cartoon femboy shit. After that interacting with other people, especially men became uncomfortable and got me anxious and disgusted despite not being attracted at all to real men, it makes you wonder and your brain keeps making you question your sexuality every time.

 

What i lost with porn?

It's hard to say when you're hooked from 13 years old, it's not that i lost something, i never earned anything because of porn.

 

How did PMO cause this? Have you ever thought about going vegan? Serious question

 

Thanks for clarifying. What are you doing for your diabetes and heart attack? Have you tried going vegan?

 

Relax, I'm just concerned for your health and I'm trying to help you. Sometimes one topic leads to another. Obviously you're not good because you mention your diabetes is "unchecked and continuing to escalate". NoFap is about improving ourselves and it seems to be due to addiction, be that from getting a dopamine fix from watching P, a dopamine fix from over/unhealthy eating, allowing anger to go uncontrolled, etc. If you can overcome your addiction, I highly recommend looking into a plant-based diet. It can reverse your diabetes and prevent another heart attack.

 

I got pied from P. That’s all. One thing from P and it’s a negative thing.


As for will power put things in place to avoid P. Block adult websites on all devices etc then you can save will power for when it’s needed

 

I lost all my money on two occasions, once while on holiday with my family and had to come up with a BS story. I had to live off their money for two weeks. They bought my story and were happy to help me out, but it felt...unpleasant.

I became an extremely cynical person. I was polite and smiley around others, but felt like a hypocrite because in my head, all I saw were their faults. I blamed society's ills for the reason why I was unhappy.

I turned into a recluse and lost touch with a lot of my friends. My remaining friends had to literally beg me to meet up with them. My extended family consider me to be a bit weird because I often skipped out on family occasions and never initiated contact with them.

I became extremely lazy, especially during the last couple of years. Why bother moving around so much when all the pleasure can be bought while lying on my bed? I began to hate anything that stimulated me mentally, and seriously think my level of intelligence degraded quite severely. The brain is a muscle and I wasn't exercising it.

I developed severe social anxiety. Any sort of social event would leave me sweating. I despised meeting new people with a passion and felt a sense of shame and jealousy when my friends or family members achieved something. I got into the odd habit of making imaginary conversations in my head instead of actually meeting people!

I often ran late to events, meetings and other arrangements and generally turned into a forgetful, highly unreliable person.

 

You are the one who said it's uncontrolled and escalating. And I quote:

I'm just basing things off what you wrote, so....

 

My biggest challenge around "relapse" or what is sometimes known as "slip-up" is the build up of libido. In that intense moment of passion build up it is hard to pull away from a course of action. And once you succumb to it your psyche normalizes a slip-up. However, we have to fight past this.

I will tell you that we are here for you. We will salute you if you accomplish your goals. We will cheer for you when you choose to not let your past failures bog you down. We will cheer for you PERIOD.

 

ive had no libido I've been extremely depressed im also incredibly disturbed by what my life has come to. i haven't been on here for a while but ever since the start of this month i had a really beautiful girl over that i had chemistry with. one thing led to another and we ended up in bed well long story short i couldn't get an erection despite being very attracted to this girl. this was one of the most humiliating and emasculating experiences in my life and ever since then ive had no desire for porn i feel it has truly ruined my life. theres another girl im interested in and i know she's interested in me but im contemplating not pursuing her at least for a full 90 days because im afraid things will happen and it will be another repeat of what happened previously. i just dont know if i can face that type of embarrassment again but at the same time im worried if i wait too long she will lose interest and that scares me too so im in a bit of a dilemma. anyways porn has ruined my fucking life i really just hope this reboot heals my condition because if it doesn't i dont know how ill be able to live with myself. this has been really affecting my state of mind as well as my sleep. i have begged God to heal me of this. the thing i dont understand is i went 60 days pmo free then relapsed to like a video of women in swimsuits not hardcore porn or anything. i know its still porn but i didn't think it would affect me that much. and this has led me to wonder if ill ever be healed. currently im on day 21 pmo free and once again have zero libido. sorry for ranting guys im new to this website and i just have nobody to talk to i have tried talking to my friends about this and they dont seem to get it. nobody seems to get pied that i know so i just feel really alone and isolated plus my depression has skyrocketed. i just feel like my life is coming to an end and i know i probably sound like a whiny little prick but this is seriously affecting my state of mind and i can't seem to be able to focus on anything else.

 

Yo, you have us and we are there for you. We will encourage you and egg you on. I jerked off to clothes try-on videos after a long streak. Try-on videos!!! Bottom line is that there is a lot of temptation on the internet and it is tough to do something about it.

For example, if you were poor at juggling firesticks would you still give it a shot? I am poor at juggling firesticks so you know what I do now?? I shut off the modem when I'm alone at home. Yes, I shut off the modem. I even shut off my phone. It's extreme but I can't juggle firesticks. Fight the fight mate and you will come out victorious. Sixty days is a long time but divide that by your life expectancy and it's nothing. 60 days is 16% of one year, 8% of two years, and on and on. If you need to use the internet treat it like a life threatening activity. Make a plan of what you want to do before you start and stick to the plan. Once you're done, get off the computer.

We are with you bro. You can do it. It's tough but you can do it! You know it possible as you did for 60 days before. Good luck!