2/22 I found it really difficult yesterday. My brain kept nagging and nagging. I got through it, I did a bit of edging but didn't relapse. and I realised two things because of it. The first is, I always thought I wanted to improve the present version of myself. But if I'm actually honest, I only want certain aspects of this version. So I'm going into transition this year to give birth to a new version of myself. No more edging, negotiating with urges. Just total commitment. The second thought was, I obviously want better for myself, and I wont settle until I achieve my goals. I will keep coming back to this point. Over and over again. So why make it so much harder for myself? It's no way to live. Porn is just several lies, an illusion of something that doesn't exist. I have rewired my brain, reprogrammed my brain. This needs to be undone with the same determination and consistency as PMO. I have give up Smoking. Drinking. Drugs. And I've lost over a stone in weight, all this in 4 years. This is just the last and most damaging. But I will see it done. Thank you to Nofap for existing. It is hugely helpful as is everyone on the forums, so supportive and honest. We can and will succeed. I just wanted to write this to myself publicly, as a form of intent to myself, almost a contract, that today is the day I commit. Thanks everyone, your amazing.
I haven't posted for a while but all has been going well so far. Completed day 8, 9 and 10. Currently on day 11. Let keep at it.