Ok Day 20 - here I am. Looking forward to the next challenge. It's really quite fascinating to think back how gripped I've been. I am under no illusions that I'm anywhere close to being clear. I fully intend to do the 90 hard and know that will not be easy. That said one of the biggest things I've realized for myself with the whole porn thing was it being "a desired distraction." When I ran into dead ends, or things looked to complex or didn't go smooth in any other part of my life porn was the great retreat. And then in that retreat attaching it to pleasure. Like any other form of addiction that ability to easily connect with the pleasure rather than deal with life became second nature. Of course the catch-22 was you felt like shit at some point because of either shame, failure and/or the inability to lead a life you are proud of. I've done 30 days before but never with a vision in mind. I truly want the change and to reach a place where I'm proud of and doesn't need hiding. Nofap has been huge for me. I have to say that. It has been pivotal in me being able to look at my behavior through a very different lens. I'm happy I've made this far but more so I'm grateful for emerging clarity I'm getting in my life. Onward.
You're right man porn is just a retreat from life's problems. I wish you the best of luck on your journey to 90 days.
I’ve just relapsed (. I was in day 17. I’m disappointed with myself, but I’m confident for another 21 days challenge. Here we go! Day 0/21