How some random girls and some games destroyed my life!?

I'm an 18 yo and have been jerking since I was like 14. Everyday. It's like in my blood now. I just wanted to make this thing sort, so you guys can see what masturbation can do to you!?

Well, first of all, fuck them who said that masturbation is good for you. It helps relieve stress, so they say. Cocaine also helps remove stress. So does smoking, gambling, meth and all those activities. This "stress relieving" activity has like taken away my life from me and I can't even protest.

When I entered high school, I was seen as THE most promising kid in my school. ALL teachers predicted a bright future for me. I had got 10 CGPA ( The highest you can get here in my country ), had won 4 gold medals in national olmpiads and had a very beautiful girlfriend.

EVERYTHING changed when I was given complete freedom by my parents ( as they believed in me ). I would sit inside my room and would jerk off minimum 3 times a day and play games all day long. Long story short: I passed with the bare minimum in class 11, couldnt go for the International Olympiad, my Girlfriend left me, scored a very low % in class 12 ( far far below than what was expected from me ). My addiction to porn grew so bad that I even started to watch some gay porn even if it didn't turn me on at all.

Then I met with this guy and we had some "fun". I did not enjoy it at all. How on earth can I even touch a guy! I ain't gay! And then: The biggest "worstest" thing that ever ever happened to me: I thought I had been infected with HIV. Because HIV is mostly predominant among gay men and MSM. I would cry all day and I would not eat. I would vomit everyday and would not talk to anyone. I couldn't even tell anyone! The worst part is that you have to wait 3 months after possible exposure to know if you have HIV. 3 BLOODY MONTHS. They were full of torture. I had 5 HIV tests, all showing I'm Negative. I made a promise to myself, I would NEVER EVER engage in unprotected sex, ever.

So here I am, a promising tough kid who thought that he would make his teachers and parents proud of himself. Today, I'm a miserable 18 yo who has no friends. Who is addicted to this bloody pornography. Who can't go to sleep without seeing girls like Ada Sanchez, August Ames, Abella Danger and others. Who cannot study. Who cannot concentrate. Who smells like shit. Who made out with a guy.Who has... just stopped living.

My friends are now all in colleges and I have to study an extra year to score the required marks again in my class 12 exams to get into a good college.

So guys, Porn and Masturbation are no less than Cocaine. It can take your life from you and you couldn't even fight. It can make you gay. Trust me. Fuck those who say it cannot happen.

I must get my life back. I'm scared that if I do not masturbate for like a month, something bad would happen to my body. Can it happen?

I set my first challenge to not masturbate for 10 days. After that, maybe for 20 days and so on.

Good day. Keep up the faith.