Day 2/30 My libido is coming back and I'm feeling much more active. This is the start of the tough week, after that it will be a bit more easier.
Still day 0, but giving my daily update. Some mild chaser effect from last night, but I know what it is, and I'm ignoring it! Some mild regret and self-disappointment, but not feeling guilt or shame, probably because I didn't use P. That seems to be the biggest source of shame. I went the longest without MO I've gone in about a decade, so I'm making progress!
71 days clean . But today I was very near to relapse What happen , here I shared may b someone can relate and other can took advantage from my this experience I was taking bath in evening suddenly I saw my bathroom window is open and I saw one woman was on her house on 3rd floor talking on phone. Her clothes was very tight and when she move back her ass was killing me to watch I watch her continously but she can't see me I was watching and enjoying to see her body curves Suddenly I fantasizes and my hand goes to my P*** and I rubbing and start to Master buation After few seconds I really feel something diffrent from inside that I am doing something wrong after feel this I talk with my self and think I don't want to ruin my recovery just for this pleasure. And I really don't want to start again my mess life I just pray to my higher power and I close window without thinking any thing and finished my bath and come out from bathroom This incident make me bad feeling up to few hours and I am feeling ashamed from inside . I am really ashamed on me besause why I am too lusty and , when I will be stop thus nonsense in my life But I feel relax when I had this feeling I have my higher power he will defenately keep out me from this mess very soon I really want to respect women's I don't want to see them only for sex. I hope one day will come and I can feel my this freedom Thanx for listening guys Today I am 71 days clean this first time in my whole life that I am away from Porn and masterbuatuon for that long time. Thanks you