Hello everyone! I just discovered this community and this is my first post on this site. I am relieved to find a possible solution to my problems. I have been addicted to porn since the age of 14 and have masturbated most everyday since. The first time I experience PIED I was 35. I was with a girl on a 3rd date and we were escalating to sex and I couldn't get aroused. This ended the date and right after she left I turn on porn and took care of myself. This made me feel a little better thinking I'm not broken. I never saw her again. I didn't realize what was happening to me so I just kind of stopped dating for a while due to the embarrassment of being impotent. I even thought I might be gay, which lead to being very introverted, when a woman would hit on me I avoided the situation as it may lead to sex. Over the next few years I had a couple Girlfriends but nothing ever became serious, as I don't think it could really because sex is a major part of any relationship all the while still watching porn and masturbating. I began to think there was no hope. Fast forward to a few weeks ago I met a girl and started dating her and sure enough PIED happened again. This time I simply googled "I can not get aroused during sex but can watching porn" and I found this whole community I had no Idea even existed. 3 days ago I started rebooting my brain and decided that this has been my problem all along. I'm sure you can imagine my relief to find others that were just like me having the same issues and knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel. This is my journey. I will give updates as often as I can, I know it is going to be difficult.
Hi. Welcome to forum! Make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation. I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain. It is a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body. Check out this Ted talk, it gives a good idea of what's it about when it comes to philosophy. As far as practical side of it there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations to get you started. Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
