Newbie

Why don’t you watch porn with him .. if he is hidding ask to that u want to watch porn .. & from that learn what he is enjoying .. & then you start practising that .. his interest in porn will lose eventually

 

Honestly this seems like a poor temporary solution to a permanent problem at best.

My advice would be to write him a carefully written well thought out letter letting him know exactly why and how this hurts you and exactly why and how it’s harmful for your family and to him. Ultimately it’s not up to you to fix him because you can’t, even if you wanted to. If you let your thoughts, cares, and concerns be known in a clear way and give him some suggestions of how to seek help then that’s about all you can do. If he refuses to change you might be better off in the long run to leave. Raising children in an unhealthy relationship does more harm than good.

Obviously couples counseling and individual counseling is always a good idea and could save the relationship. I would also check out the book “out of the shadows” me and my SO found it very helpful and eye opening. If he doesn’t want to read it just read for yourself.

Thanks for posting and good luck!

 

Hello. Welcome to forum. We have Partner Support forum on here in case you might wanna lurk there or ask for some advice or support. Denial, aggression and threats are common thing addicts do. If he always threatens to leave to avoid issue you will never fix this, if you are desperate that he will. You need to call his bluff on that. But of course it's hard to do if you are not willing to to separate. I am not an expert on those things so maybe the best for you would be to consult with psychotherapist. Just for advice what to do, they have experience with addicts so maybe they will be able to suggest you how to deal with your husband.

 

I would still advice to you to open up .. the way you are opening up here .. try to connect him .. I am sure he will open up to you .. but he should sense .. if there is a mistake by him .. you are ready to here & forgive him .. he should sense that feeling from .. it is very important .. after all we are all humans .. we have desires .. we make & commit mistakes .. what important is .. he should have hope that I have to correct myself for someone .. someone is there .. who will love or won’t leave me for mistakes .. what i feel there is a little gap between your relation .. you have to work on that gap ..

 

And you have to stop overthinking .. if you want to have sex .. just jump on him .. or ask for it without any predictions that is he satisfied or willing to do or not ..
what you are writing here, he would have sensed all that .. like lot of things going in your head already ..!! If he sense that it would be more difficult for him to open up .. he is ur husband .. just fuck him when u feel like .. & Make realise that it’s your right .. not by pressure .. but by opening up in lovable manner

 

My wife went through the same thing. There is a forum for you here. Suggest this site. He might look at it when you aren't looking. Stay as positive as possible - addiction likes itself and lives on fear. Be strong there is strength here.