Thanks for your inspiring message to get back up. Also, i like the book recommendation. I like reading and have an open mind on things especially when it comes to coping with this addiction. I have heard of David Goggins and even saw his interview with Tom Bilyeu. It was very inspirational stuff. What got me is the way he uses pain to fuel himself. I think I need to view that interview again. Right now, its hard to get back up as the depressive thoughts are persisting and the urges are at a very high level at the moment. Unfortunately, I did PMO yesterday again. I am setting myself the immediate goal of 3 days NoPMO to get back on track from today. I do not wan't to go back to full blown depression which made me a little suicidal some time back. Those were dark days of gloom and doom. All in all, I accomplished 61 days of NoPMO. That progress cannot be erased unless I binge from this 2 day failure. I need to put a stop to it before things spiral out of control.
It is hard to get back up . Unfortunately, I could not stay PMO free yesterday. I don't know whether its the chaser effect as described in YBOP. The worst part about yesterday's relapse is that I enjoyed watching porn so much as my urges were at the highest level in months. Wow! This is serious stuff. Indeed, the brain does not forget. Those pathways in my brain are still pervasive despite 60 days of nofap. I honestly think it will take more than a year to "deaden" these urges. Well, its back to day 0 and a start of my second reboot. Here goes....First step mini goal of 3 days NOPMO.
stress, no check in, no AP = relapse. Square one, feeling guilty and disappointed, but knowing I am going towards my goals