my ruined life

Hi Sam, Sorry to hear about the breakup. This will be a hard time for you for sure. I understand the temptations, your brain is trying to convince you to give it what it wants. I am glad the cold shower worked for you. Did you try the music thing I suggested? Something to calm your mind before bed? I think part of learning how to control all of this is changing your mindset. Fill your mind with other things. Because the triggers are everywhere and you are very sensitive to them right now we need to find something that diverts your mind away from them. Don't concentrate on a relapse, have you heard of the self fulfilling prophecy? If you keep thinking about it you will make it happen. I know...it is so very hard right now. Dude, I've been there and still am. Do you have any interests/hobbies that you enjoy? Things you like to read? It sounds like the weakest time is right before bed. I wish I had a really good answer for how to deal with that. I do think that if you can fill your mind with other interests--change your focus a little that that could help some. It might also help your dreams so that the temptations aren't as strong. But believe me man, they will come. I had one the other night and unfortunately it makes the rest of the day really hard. Be STRONG. I know you can do it. If the temptations get really strong, come on here and post instead of relapsing. OKAY? I want to see that counter say 7 tomorrow. DEAL?