I've posted on here and on YBR several times and I've written my story several times, but here is a summary of it: I have been in a flatline since May of 2015. During this flatline which began after a year long streak of NoFap, I have at times looked at porn or fapped since then. However, I have had several streaks of 30, 60 or even 90 days no pmo during this time. Even when I was allowing myself to PMO as an expirament, it really took discipline to do it. I just don't like it that much anymore. And I am basically asexual. Penis mostly numb, no spontaneous boners, no boners from cuddling, nothing. This was never like this before NoFap. I'm not completely impotent: my wife and I have practiced having sex, and with some patience, it is possible to get a (numb) boner, penetrate, ejaculate, and orgasm. But it is (weirdly) a pleasure-less kind of orgasm that just makes me feel worn out afterwards. I'm not complaining about life: I was even able to get my wife pregnant, so in 6 months I will be a dad. But now that I have basically become asexual after doing nofap, I feel like maybe I should just look at porn and masturbate religiously for a year and a half, and maybe my sex drive will come back; maybe my reduced nerve function is a symptom of lack of blood flow down there. Maybe I have given myself nerve damage with vitamin b megadosing to try and increase my libido. Maybe I lowered the level of local dht in my genital region after using anti-dandruff shampoo as a body wash for a year while I was overseas to save money. Maybe I got some rare disease from a flea bite I got in Colombia. Maybe it was a tough breakup I had a year before meeting my wife. Maybe this, maybe that.... I've got theories, but not much more than that, unfortunately. I'm not bitter against NoFap; not by a long shot. NoFap gave me the self-confidence to seduce women, convince a good woman to marry me, and get her pregnant. So I have lots to thank NoFap for. But I am just wondering now if this is the answer to my problem anymore. And I'm increasingly unable to relate to what I read here. Take urges: I don't really remember what they're like anymore. I've not had one in 3 years. And I've seen other people write similar things. So now I am on thirty days again, this time hard mode: it's easy cause I have no urges, and my wife hasn't had much libido since she has been pregnant. Last week I had a wet dream with orgasm, erection, everything, but when I get woke up I was dry. Today I fell asleep on the couch, thought I had a wet dream again, and woke up neither erect nor wet. My situation doesn't seem to be improving. Two years ago I went on a hard mode streak for 67 days, and I had wet dream where I was flaccid, but ejaculated (wet spot was under my ass when I woke up, it had literally just dribbled out). Another observation; I haven't smoked in over a year, but when I do smoke cigarettes for a few days, my libido comes back for a few days, then tapers off. Another note: looking at porn a few times will slightly bring my libido and my ability back for a few weeks. Also, I never get precum anymore, only when I look at porn (and then just the first time or two). Just observations. So, over all, I'm grateful. I don't have anything to prove. And I'm happy about being a Dad. In a way, none of this really matters. I have fulfilled my biological imperative. The numb fella did his job after all. But I really miss being horny and sexual. I wish that I could give more of myself to my wife and have the same kind of sex with her that I used to have before. And I just wonder if any of this would have happened if I hadn't watched that Demise of Guys Ted talk back in December of 2013. My story is a strange one, but it deserves to be told, too. And if anybody else has had a similar experience, I would like to know. So that's it. To fap or not to fap. Thanks for reading, if you have made it this far.
Still haven't fapped. I was thinking about doing it, but yesterday I got randomly aroused while my wife was around, so I'm glad I didn't. We couldn't have sex because she was babysitting. Anyway, I think It's best to wait a few more weeks on hard mode before having sex. I'm hoping that I will have have a wet dream soon where I actually ejaculate. If so that will let know that I am really starting to get better. So if you're thinking of fapping don't fight it, just give yourself a couple days to think about it. That'll give you a chance to calm down and think logically. I'm not out of the woods yet but, just maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Try some exercise. I believe that large muscle training (e.g leg training) has been shown to cause an increase in testosterone, which could boost libido. In fact, perhaps a generally low testosterone level could be the issue. Your wet dream with erection would indicate that his is not a physical problem with your penis, but I’m no physician. I would not go back to PMO lest addiction rears it’s ugly head again. I would see physicians/specialists on this matter. If they recommend PMO, which they may, then by all means do as they say. I suspect low testosterone is the culprit and may have been brought about by NoFap.
I actually just went and my testosterone is high (in the 600's). Got DHT tested too. That is also normal. Even though I am getting erections, they have been numb and they are starting to taper off again, so I think it might be a nerve problem. I am starting to notice a little shrinkage, so if I don't see an improvement soon, I am going to fap again, or at least end my hard mode streak.
no no your problem isnt downstairs its in your brain still, i believe. Porn will not solve any of your problems, it may only make them worse. You may need to re-wire to your wife more, this means kissing, cuddling etc. Though i wouldnt recommend sex just yet, try the 90 days hard mode first with kissing + cuddling, things like that and let it happen naturally. To me it definitely sounds brain related, dont give up hope, i have seen many similar cases on here and i do believe you can cure it
I've not met anyone on here who has the same numbness problems that I do. I agree with you that porn is a problem, but it seems to me to a bad idea to go 90 days without ejaculating when I may have a nerve problem. I won't do the p or m, I just will try having sex with my wife.
Long periods of abstinence are known to reduce testosterone. Try having sex/masturbating atleast once a week with your SO or alone without porn.
Had sex, hydraulics are good, but still significant numbness. I can tell the abstinence has made a huge difference though. I will try to have sex only once a week. Don't know if I will fap without porn in the future. Just doing a day at a time. It think the real key here seems to be do not look at porn ever ever again. That is the unnatural stimulus.
Numbness sounds like PIED starting.. And shrinking is the swelling from masturbation. When you masturbate, you cause inflammation in your groin and if the Ming is a chronic thing you do, the inflammation can take up to months to go away (in a flaccid state), first causing what Looks like shrinking, before the skin can actually properly begin to fill up with blood during erections like it's supposed to.... Actually. So... Science.
Have you seen a urologist about this? Numbness might be something completely unrelated to your mental state. I’ve had numbness at times, but it goes away once I really get into it. The brain-body connection is very abstract when it comes to things like arousal and sensations, so it may be something else. Also- do you take antidepressants (SSRI’s) or the like? What you are describing is a very common side effect- when I started on one I couldn’t orgasm at all due to lack of sensation. Just a thought.
I actually have been to a urologist who told me that he had no idea what it was but that there seemed to be no problem is other my penis. I also had a testosterone test, which came out very normal, or even high, in the 600's. I tested my DHT, which was 39, normal but slightly in the low side. The uro recommended that I go to a neurologist, but I am afraid that it will be an expensive appointment: the testosterone test was almost 500 dollars, and that was with the help of "insurance" (I live in the USA). Since my wife is pregnant now, I am afraid to spend a bunch of money on this stuff. I have bigger things to worry about... I did take ssri's for 6 months when I was 17 (I am now 32, and the problem didn't start until I was 29). Two big possibiliypos to explain the numbness are (1) When I was living overseas for several years, I did whatever possible to save money because I was constantly broke. In order to save money on hygeine products, I always just bought the biggest container of Head and Shoulders anti-dandruff shampoo that I could find and used it as my shampoo and bodywash. So I routinely cleaned my junk with this stuff which is meant to shrink your swear pores and keep your sebacious glands from producing so much sweat and dirt. It might not be the cause, but it couldn't have been helpful. I sometimes think it might have lowered my local dht in the skin of the genitals. Theory number (2): after my libido dropped and I started having ED, not long after a break up and when I was quitting porn again, I noticed that Vitamin B complex injections brought back my libido for a couple days. So, I took these mega injections of vitamin B every week or two for a couple months. It was about this time that I started to notice more numbness. Later I read that vitamin B toxicity can cause nerve damage and I think this may have happened to me. I also megadosed vitamin E for a while. In any case no porn seems to be helping: I remember what it was like to enjoy kissing or licking a girl's ear. I'm starting to feel that way again. Two months no porn, six weeks no M, ejaculated once a week ago during sex. We'll see how it goes, and I will post an update. Not convinced I should never fap again, but definitely convince I should never look at porn again.
I am glad you have gotten medical attention. I would think that if you used Head and Shoulders as you did, the effect would diminish once you discontinued, but the thing about the Vitamin B shots is scary. Too many people think that big doses of vitamins improve their health but I don't take any vitamins or supplements that my doctor is not aware of. Body chemistry is not something I understand well enough to think that I can reasonably start pumping it full of biologically active ingredients and be secure in what effect. I hope you continue following any advice from your doctor, and I am glad that things are improving, although I would see the urologist a.s.a.p. because, even at a cost, he may be able to suggest something that could increase your improvements or possibly prevent other or long-term effects. And it can't be all bad if your wife is pregnant.
Yeah, it's gotten better especially from not masturbating. I don't want to give too much information but I was making out with my wife the other day, and I actually got precum all in my boxers. This hasn't happened in a long time. The thing about the vitamins and possible nerve damage really upset me for a long time, and it is part of what kept me fapping: I didn't want to stop sending blood to the area of there really was nerve damage. I felt lucky that, even though sex was more of a chore than anything (bc of the numbness) I could still do the deed. So I just figured the more I keep blood flowing to the area aka fapping, the better. But more porn made it hard to have sex after a few months. And M started to become impossible without P. I also noticed that I am a lot less irratiblw when I am not fapping. I am Catholic, and for a long time the church has said "don't Fap," and of course, none of us ever took it seriously. But now I am starting to think that religion is smarter than I previously thought. For example, Taoism recommends abstaining from O in order to keep from depleting your Chi, so I think I am going to hang in there a little longer and see if things get better. Now that I'm going to be a dad, I kind of don't even give a shit anymore. I have something else to live for other than my dick being happy again, so I feel more at liberty to expirament with NoFap. If lack of blood supply to the area winds up causing me to go impotent oh well, who cares. Only one of the thousands of ejaculations I have had in my life mattered, so it really has put things in perspective for me. There's a more in life than boners and tits. It's taken me till 32 to learn that. God must be a comedian.
Yet I will again caution trying to figure these things out on your own and without consulting with a physician. It's like practicing medicine without a license. The $500 is a nice chunk of change, but if a physician can help you prevent sexual dysfunction (or other complications) could improve your quality of life (and your sexual life with your wife) for years to come. Think of your duty as a husband and making sure that you will be a full husband to her and, also, to give her other children if she wishes.
Good point. I hadn't thought about it like that. I will talk about it with her and we'll make a plan to set aside money. Thanks for the advice
