How the "Porn Addiction" movement disrespects women.

Holy shit this is such Bull. Also the therapists name was the same name as my husbands therapist who basically told him he didn't have an addiction and blamed everything on me, and we checked out the author and was a different guy but what are the odds haha.

His book says there is no such thing as sex addiction... that is just what?

This guy is pissing me off I couldn't watch much of this but he is completely ignorant and fucking... oh jeezz... As Dylan Sprouse might say, "Where did you get your degree?" (From movie Dismissed, character Lucas)

Bullshit.

 

Pissed me off, too. I read the article and made it a whole 4.5 minutes into the video before imagining how it would feel to wreck his face.

 

It just made me mad.

 

I thought that the article got a lot wrong.
For example:

-Nope. This is almost universally not enough to enact change. If this strategy was effective than there would be no SOs on this site.

I do think there is some truth to the below:

From my perspective I feel that people on this site often assume that all women definitely feel the exact same way concerning porn use and give advice accordingly.

 

@noexcuses Exactly, and if you watch the video (i ended up watching the whole thing) he contradicts his points in the video, and he simply mentions and makes fun saying, "How is it a betrayal? Did anyone mention porn in their vows?" .... I think we all said "Forsake all others" in our vows so doesn't that include porn? He pretty much said porn happens in a relationship when the sex is bad or not satisfying so the man will turn to porn. He really makes fun of porn addiction/sex addiction, and makes fun of partners who have an issue with porn. It's sad.

 

http://www.martyklein.com/husbands-watch-porn-wives-despair/ another article from him. He says he is sympathetic with partners yet attacks them (pay attention to his use of language). How can he actually be a practicing therapist?

 

I have restrictions setup on my phone so I can’t view the link but this snipet is enough for me to conclude the guy’s viewes aren’t worth reading.

 

Porn is bad. I absolutely know it . I have a shit ton to say. I say this keep up the fight. I has destroyed me and keep me from feeling any emotions,bonding and true intamicy with my wife. How selfish I was. I have to stop here because the disappointment with myself. The guy is blind and jaded.

 

I actually laughed out loud at when I was reading this that’s how ludicrous it is. I am not at all the woman he describes nor are the majority of the partners of pmo addicts. I think he also disrespects men in presuming they have to use porn . They don’t. And what does he have to say about porn induced ED as clearly it does exist are women just supposed to be okay with that?

 

I've been waiting for your comment on this thread.

Truth be told, I didn't think laughing was going to be how you responded.

I didn't bother reading or listening to this -- too busy recently .. and this whole thing just seemed crazy.

 

Sorry to disappoint but sometimes things people write are just so ludicrous that the only thing you can do is laugh. He does not believe that porn addiction exists so of course he can say those things. He however discredits all of us and our experiences. I mean for example if porn induced ed is not real then explain how it goes away when people stop? If you replace the word porn with alcohol in his writing it will really seem laughable. I mean a woman should negotiate with an alcoholic the amount of alcohol he uses, since he is unwilling to give it up, huh? He’s not at all speaking of porn addiction. He’s taking men who use porn on occasion with no negative effects and saying those are addicts.

 

That article is rubbish. It's him who disrespects women by saying they're "wailing" and "ratcheting up the drama". I agree with GG2002 that he's really just saying porn is fine and everyone should be chill about it.

 

I agree with what all have said here and I’ll add this guy most likely “loves” his porn, he most likely has an addiction too, so he’s publicly defending his denial thusly reinforcing the mind set that we have to deal with on the regular.

The biggest loudmouths are usually the ones with biggest issues.

 

Strikes me as bollocks, though I gave up reading it pretty quickly. Even if you accept the ridiculous premise (that male partners don't mind porn use, but women do), you have to take a very negative view of women to accept the conclusions. There's a subtly horrible assumption that, if men are fine with partner's porn use, then women must be hysterical to have a problem with it.

That's if you accept its premise, which I don't. It's possible female partners are more likely to dislike spousal porn use - men and women are different - but it's also possible that isn't the case. And if it is, why does that imply a problem with women? Or that thinking that women think like this is misogynist? "I think this is fine but maybe someone doesn't so they are mental". Or "I think this is fine and therefore everyone does so suggesting people don't is horrible".

Ah, I'm not making sense. I'm quite irritated about this.

 

Your last line, OMG that is so true!

 

Totally agree with you here. He needs a good read on the concept of emotional intelligence. If your partner tells you that something upsets them, you don’t get to say “well it should not upset you, it would not upset me, hence you are being ridiculous.” That’s what he seems to be advocating.