Hello, Been struggling with this problem since I was 12. Got to love middle school lunch room sex ed. Ever since that discussion, it has led me deeper and deeper into addiction and has led me to hurt several people I love the most. Nothing hurts more than seeing the betrayal walk across your wife's face when you fess up. It has gotten so bad, that sometimes the urge to "act" out the old images comes out during special time. Scars from cutting myself lace my arms because I got some sick idea in my head that i would see the scars and be reminded to not so that again. All it did was build up my pain tolerance. The last time I did, I left a cut on my tricep that I didn't even feel. I'm turning 30 in August. 734 days ago, I kicked my nicotine habit to the curb. I was a slave to that master for 9 years. I crushed that one. I have one 9 year old girl and another on the way. I have been a slave for 18 years to porn. It is time to break these chains. I am no kitten, I'm no teddy bear. I am mad and pissed off as a grizzly. I need advice, education and guidance.
Thank you. When I shook off my nicotine addiction, I had a wealth of knowledge at my fingertips years upon years of experiences and stories both successful and not. When i started to get clean from porn, I have never made it past a month clean. The problem, no knowledge, no shared forerunner experiences to guide me. I was pioneering against the more common flow of users. That led to my ultimate failure.
Hey @DeddyBear , I'm nobody special on here. Just a regular user saying, "welcome". There is so much support on this forum, the profiles and the various groups. It works if you work it. I don't offer advise. I offer only my ESH (experience, strength and hope). My ESH is that NoFap is about action and that meant work for me. It is not about "not doing something", for me, it is about working my program. Work it? Oh yeah. There's work to be done, that's what's worked for me. Two things I've found necessary. 1. I had to Learn the NoFap Program. 2. Getting involved with the community on here was vital to help my recovery. Learn the NoFap Program The resources listed on the "New Users: List of Rebooting Resources" helped me find my way around the reasons behind the program and the terms used. They are: Download the free Getting Started guide. Set up a PMO-Counter Badge. More info here! Basic introduction to the science of porn addiction! Basic information about rebooting and how our challenges can help you recover from PMO. This is the most important page to read. If you only can read one page, read this one. About NoFap. Watch this video - it is an epic intro resource if you want to get particular details about porn addiction and how it changes how your brain works. This is a good light-weight video about porn addiction. Read through the journal sections and see what other rebooters have experienced. It is good to know what to expect, otherwise the "chaser effect", "the surge", or the "flatline" might throw you off. If you come across vocabulary that you can't understand, check out our rebooting glossary of terms. GET ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR HABITS! Sign up for a peer accountability partner. Otherwise if you want more professional-hosted solutions, check out NoFap Premium or Reboot Camp. If you can afford to invest in yourself, these are great options. You can find this same list on the top of the forum you posted this message on at - the "New to NoFap" forum. Get Involved with the Community The community has been my lifeline. I've found journals I love, people who are very supportive and a place where I could get to work helping in a small way others. Remember, I'm just a normal user with no magic powers. But, I can: Read Journals, and comment when I have ESH Find people I admire and stay in touch via their profiles Pick a forum and make sure evvery post gets and answer. I can't answer them all, but that's good - different opinions make for a better group. Post in my journal (I could be better at it - but I do milestone posts at least) To make a journal go to the section listed by age and start one. Keep all your journal posts in one thread. But, for random thoughts, you can create a new thread. Looking forward to seeing you around on the forums, * L PS - Think of pmo like a wolf. Stay near the center of the group with the winners and the wolf has a more difficult time finding you. But, stray near the edges of the community and the wolf can pick you off.
One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work. Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few: @julianstone Journals at https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/146584/ --- @HerculesStop Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/140098/ --- @zakes Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/149243/ --- @DavidGibson Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143325/ --- @Euklid Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/146663/ --- @LilD Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/147764/ --- @BreatheDeeply Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139097/ --- @LiquidShoes Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/134044/ --- @Reverent Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143845/ --- @Former_CD Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/87827/ --- @PatrickR Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139570/ --- There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start. This is a work in progress. So, if a journal has changed or is no longer active, look around there are some amazing journals on here. * L
Day 2. Feeling good and confident today, despite dropping my bacon on the floor. Anyway gotta look at now the snake got there. I promise and swear to not look at anything other than my wife. NAFAR.
Some of the ways I "get out of my head" are: Try to help others. Maybe just post on other's journals to let them know you read it. I run through this inventory, "Mind, Body, Spirit". Where am I out of balance? Mind - Am I taking care of my Mind? It's important for me to make sure I'm doing something intellectually interesting. I don't have to get a phd in astrobiology. But, something for the mind is important. A good history book, watching a great Nova documentary or what ever. Body - It's more than exercise, although exercise is important. It's keeping showered, shaved, hair cut, teeth in good repair (ie visit the dentist for annual check ups), wearing clean clothes, eating right, and more. Spirit. I am a spiritual person. I am not religious. But, I must keep a schedule to honor my inner spirit. Like my body, it won't stay healthy if it's not nurtured. To get out of you own head, why not call a friend or relative? Let them tell you all about their troubles. It might not make any difference, but you'll be out of your head for a bit. Hope that helped, * L
