Talking to girls

I have not done this personally but try out the good looking loser's approach anxiety program. Also read the book 'Mode One' by Alan Roger Currie. This should help greatly.

 

when i was younger i use to be quiet an shy around both sexes but i always seemed to hang around with both sexes even if i didnt say much, but your mind is absorbing the styles of conversations an the actions,majority of non stop talkers just want to talk they like people who well listen to them,they dont start conversations with others so they can listen they do it so they can talk,it took awhile for me but one day it sparked an now im a decent conversationalist they only problem i have now is finding someone who wants to hear me talk lol

 

I think something that it's very important to realise is that your reaction is actually pretty normal. We as humans are hard-wired to get anxious over new situations. So, when you had no experience talking to girls, it was an anxiety inducing experience for you. So now as a result of that anxiety, you've avoided talking to girls more, so now you've had even less experience with it recently so the anxiety has increased.

Through exposure to talking to girls, you'll be less awkward around them.. but don't worry about being awkward around them. Everyone starts somewhere, and no matter how awkward you feel, you never look as awkward as you feel inside. People are their own harshest critics. While you're sitting in your head thinking about how anxious you are and how awkward you're being.. chances are the girl is more concerned about how she's acting/thinking than how you are. So at worst she might pick up that you're a little nervous, but she's not going to notice all of it.

On top of that, an exercise that can be helpful. Imagine the last time you interacted with someone who was visibly very shy, not very talkative, etc. What did you think about this person? Did you judge them? Did you dislike them because they were shy? Doubtful. You probably even made an effort to help them talk a bit more, or make them feel comfortable, and you probably liked them just as much as the other non-shy people you interacted with. So realise the same applies to you. Being shy/awkward around girls isn't going to make anyone dislike you, so you have no reason to avoid those interactions.

 

The issue is pretty simple. You're not interested in having sex with guys so you don't over analyze or over think your interactions with them. You're talking simply to talk and in your mind there's no real loss if you don't talk to them or if your conversation is cut short. You also won't spend time worrying about if you've said the 'right' thing or not. Basically you don't give a fuck and that lowers/lessens your social anxiety. I know because I had the same probably when I was younger, so I removed the key component which was my desire to get laid. Once that was out of the picture it made talking to women a breeze.

 

This guy hit it on the head. When I was younger than you and starting to chase girls around I also was told there is an imaginary ladder inside your head. If your blessed with the skill to pull 10s all day long good for you, but if you don't (I didn't until I got older and I'm still not perfect) you gotta climb the ladder. Your game will sharpen and your confidence will grow, and exactly what son of a bitch said is gonna happen, your not gonna care if you fail. try it out

 

It's fear. Let it go. Women like to talk just like men do. Think about what you want to say before you decide to speak. Slow your brain when it starts racing. Speak slowly with a calm cadence. You don't have to talk fast. If you get stuck just ask a question. "What do you think?"
What are your thoughts on the sport?"
"Are you into peanut butter?"

Asking a question gives you a chance to collect your thoughts and calm down while the other person talks. And it shows you're interested in what she thinks.

 

i suffered from anxiety far as i can remember like a incident back when i was like 13 or something i was at a huge gathering like a fair i was first experiencing anxiety attacks i thought i was going to die someone was trying to calm me down we were looking for the medics ,they probably thought i was really high on something but it felt like that , i understand trying to convince your self isnt going to work,but i believe nofap took away my anxiety belief is a strong system,im actually personally documenting if NoFap is helping my anxiety i believe its helping ,yesturday i was sitting in a crowded coffee shop reading the news paper drinking coffee an i was feeling good i even sparked conversation with a beautiful lady,this is a huge step for me dealing with anxiety i feel like im nearly reaching the top of the mount olympus

 

Plenty of girls are just as awkward, you just don't notice because your worried about all the things your doing wrong. Luckily fixing anxiety is not a complex process. You just need to get used to talking to women.

Go to stores and actively seek out women working there and ask them for advice on what to buy. Your goal is to have a conversation, nothing else. This is great because its their job to help you out and they will do most of the talking. Just ask questions and occasionally add to the conversation.

 

I'm sort of on the same level as you are but there's a few things I'm trying to do and maybe they would help you as well. First I am working on myself and that is number one in importance to me. I work out, I study, I try to find time for things I enjoy being the best me I can be comes first everything else is second. Secondly I try to let go of the shame associated by being socially anxious yeah it's a problem but everybody's got a problem you're not a bitch if you have a hard time talking to girls you're a bitch if all you do is complain and do nothing to try and change it right now I try and force my self to make eye contact and smile at anybody that walks by me it's small but I'm not embarrassed by it cause it's a step in the right direction, and it hasn't come up yet but the next time someone says you're so quiet I'm not going to freak out like I had in the past I'm going to calmly explain that I get a little anxious around new people. And thirdly I'm trying to change my motivation I'm not trying to become social and outgoing or get hot girls to give myself self worth but because I want to I deserve to try and get what I want. I think that is what people gravitate towards the people that live life trying their best towards real goals rather than running from what you really want