Day 1: Going smoothly as planned. Thanks for the support and wishes my fellow Fapstronauts. It's very helpful if we support and help each other.
Yesterday I watched porn ... a lot. I feel so stupid relapsing on the second day of a three-day Challenge! But being truthful and honest is the first step. It is so important. Even if it's "only" anonymously in the internet. It's of no use to use excuses, beat up myself, cherish any illusions or spend an hour analyzing myself. I'm a well trained addict. That means I can perfectly do the split, do the doctor jeckyll - mr. hyde - thing. But the monster is me: mr. hyde is just a bundle of behaviors, just a habit of dr. jeckyll. When turned to mr. hyde completely there's no control left. But why does dr. jeckyll allow himself to become mr. hyde? Yes, it's the mr. hyde side in himself, that which he allowed to grow and take shape by practising "hyding" for a very long time. Still, he's the one who has the power to end all this. If he would be willing to kill that part of himself, he could. Maybe it can't be stabbed with one single blow. But let it die and it will ... eventually die. Sorry for being so cryptical! It's difficult to put it in words ... I know I'm here for a reason. Now for re-commitment. Standing up again. Day 0