Two weeks ago, I started to engage in watching porn again (my own body parts and some images) due to stress caused by some personal matter. Since then, I seem to have been caught/stuck in the cycle again and quitting it is hard. Therefore, I keep fascinating about porn and my penis would erect, I wouldn't masturbate with my hand but sometimes just slightly squeeze my penis by putting both legs close together or shake my legs a little. Sometimes, I noticed a little bit of fluid spurted out from my penis, although I'm not sure if it's just urine or really semen. So...what do you think about this kind of situation? Do you think it's pee or semen? Did I really ejaculate? Does it count as relapse although it's a tiny amount of ejaculation? I better quit porn... *sigh* I got trapped in the addiction cycle again after returning to porn due to stress triggered by some personal matter.
I voted no but after reading about what you're doing dude, you're not making much progress like that. Just because you're not ejaculating doesn't mean anything, you're still looking at porn, still feeling pleasure and still getting dopamine. I was in that same place years ago, trust me, you're just lying to yourself. Cut off porn completely or just continue PMO because honestly you get nowhere when you're in that place of "Well as long as I don't cum its fine"
My opinion: This doesn’t sound like an accident to me. It sounds like a choice you made and now would like to justify after the fact; rather than taking responsibility for your actions and making a conscience effort to make better choices in the future. You are the ONLY person who can answer this question. You are responsible for setting your own goals, guidelines, and boundaries. This is your journey. We are all here to help, encourage, and support you. But everyone has their own set of self-applied rules for what constitutes a relapse. For me, if I did any search for anything remotely arousing, I would reset. If I intentionally stimulated my penis in any way, I would reset. What I will say is that if you are becoming aroused by P or other unnatural stimuli, you are slowing your progress significantly. But it’s up to you how challenging you want to make your NoFap journey. But making it “easier” this way will certainly make a full recovery take longer. I can tell you that the more exceptions and grey areas you allow, the longer the recovery will take. Rewiring the reward center in the brain is not easy once it has been trained to respond to excessive stimulation.