the observer part really resonated with me there! My bf is a PA and seems to have zero interest in me sexually because I imagine he isn’t visually stimulated QUOTE="Tryingforfamily, post: 1658907, member: 237461"]I guess you could put it that way. Im not sure I can totally define it though. I could just kinda feel something was still off. So could my wife. The P and M had been gone for 40ish days at this point too. Maybe it was just that my mind involuntarily continued to go to thoughts of lust. Not just lust for others (which quickly faded once I started no PM) but lots of lustful thoughts about my wife. My counselor said this to me the other day that kinda resonated with me. You need to get to the point of being a participant rather than an observer. You've been observing P for so long that you are now more of an observer than a participant. Think about it. What are you looking at during P. What have you been looking at during sex? That's objectification. Not that this is never acceptable but it should never be the default or preferred method. Maybe it's just me... maybe not.[/QUOTE] This really
