Khufu

i got nothing to do sunday mornings i should try church again, i need help,these intrusive thoughts are strong

i think im flat line,i think i wont edge tonight, this is good

only form of music at home is radio and the small limited download mp3s on my laptop ,other than that im facing the still silence,a challenge i havent faced still a youngling

i like the jazz or sports radio stations, i feel like im living the lifestyle of a retired 80 year old man

i wanted to but i dont know what i'd stream about,im more of a walking around guy but i only have a dummie phone

by my overall perception of your journals,quatrains n verses in your profile updates it leads me to beleive you have outstanding writing disaplines ,im currently on chapter 4 of writing a novel i plan to publish,

@{Ananta} That's fair. I definitely more of someone who really likes physical stuff (aka playing basketball, hiking, etc).
You are definitely correct in that department. Though that was mostly because I wrote so many college papers

i guess because it was becoming popular for females to wear tiny bikinis an males to wear speedos, i like this photo lol

its summer n females are wearing crazy clothing highlight their female forms,now my mind isnt lazy no more that needs online images it memorizes what i focus on during the day

i get home,my mind memorized females so vividly n i couldnt stop edging,it was only 6pm,so i ate did im currently at college library which is open 24/7, it has been my sanctuary so far but that opportunity expires jan 2024

it usually takes a week to snap out of this edging habit,

im that guy who writes, reads, experiencing physcal actitivities and adventures

the reviews spark an unfathomonable lust in me, couldnt or wouldnt?fight the desire to read the novels,i read them, 90 dollars worth of illlegal ebooks 300 pages each, i spent all night reading them,

some where 2$some where 4$, 6am went to bed, woke up 12 afternoon,the desire still there i relapsed again, shower ,went to class, i was doing good at staying away at triggering stuff

i call the ebooks illegal because someone bought them on my account by hacking and without my consent, i understand why theyd spend so much on a bunch of those novels, i pray they heal from pmo fapping

so im stuck with these ebooks a genre i do not touch but i decided to read afew an it was erotic and sent me down a frenzy spiral relapse, its 6am now and im not happy, edging all night grrr

i was behaving so well, a good sleep routine, get things done during the day, i have to do school work all week,what state well i be in today now :(

they probably paranoid wondering what bizzare porn i indulge in everynight,nope thats not me,in two months i indulged only twice n its a genre you can rent on cable tv

accept i relapsed dont think about it,dont feel anything about it, just continue, apply my methods on continuing nofap.

i dont memorize or record the sites for my own good, i considers all p subs the same, i deal with them all the same,

26 days , such a good count, why is fapping to p gotta be so euphoric, i literary feel a magical goo slowing pouring on my brain,looking at these subs grrr