Hello all, What kind of sexual boundaries, If any, did you set with your partner in the beginning, after they told you. I'm having difficulties with this. Theres nights were I want to have sex, but I'm still so disgusted by the idea that he's been looking at porn so much that i just cant climax during sex. Has anyone else had these issues?
@Kenzi created an entire boundaries and consequences thread, and so did @GhostWriter I am sure they can provide the links (it might be in Kenzi's signature??) And yes, in the beginning I had sex to "keep" him, to prove I was just "as good" as porn and did things I feel repulsed by to this day. I had sex way too quickly and regret it. It would have been better to wait until the emotions dyed down, but it happens, it's called hysterical bonding.
I feel like that's exactly what I did and am doing. I feel the need to have sex with him to "prove" I'm just as good as the porn, and that he doesnt need it. But it's making me hate myself.
Then stop, it's self-destructive behavior (I would know, I did it way too long!). Take time off sex. If you don't feel safe, don't do it. If you don't feel loved and respected, don't do it. The addiction has nothing to do with you, hence sex with you or not having sex won't change him and his addiction.