Long time no check in.. it's my 7th day (07/14 days). I was relapsed on June 17th. Mental images, as always, is my problem. Addicted to Femdom and BDSM. And thank God i still survived until now. When the urge comes, i always think that, if you continue and follow it, you are wasting your time. And regret will come after.
Day 0 , Yes , i relapsed I was stressed because i have morning an important exam , I went to sleep a little and when i woke up the urge to watch porn overcome me..... and yeh...... . But i will not quit until I finish this 14 days
8/14 Best day I’ve had so far. To be clear, NOT the easiest day. The best day. My balls feel weird. My prostate is achey. I’m still not sleeping great. My penis is shriveling like a raisin. I have very little energy. I’m stiff in the back and hips. I had an unsettling erotic dream again last night. But... I’m staying strong and focused and that is it’s own reward. Today I even found myself laughing out loud to some standup comedy I had on. I don’t remember the last time I really belly-laughed from comedy. I’m feeling my feelings more deeply than I have in years. Sadness too, but even that is oddly a welcome respite from the numbness of years past. And even though I feel lethargic, I forced myself to take a long walk today (2+ hrs). Just got back. Hopping in the shower and heading to bed. Thanks to everyone who has commented, liked, or replied to anything I’ve written. The seratonin and dopamine from those alerts has been a lifesaver in weak moments. Thank you to the NoFap staff, moderators, techs, etc. You are truly heroes in my eyes. And to my peers, fellow PAs and SOs alike; thank you for posting your stories, struggles, successes, suggestions, etc. I’d say “I don’t know where I’d be with out this forum” but the truth is, I know - I’d be PMOing and isolating myself from others and sacrificing the life I was meant to live.
