Smoky33373

I am 34 y.o male with a wife since 2013 and 2 kids ages 1 and 3. I work in the healthcare field as a Respiratory Therapist. I am a Christian, which motivates me to be a better me. I attempt at reading the Bible daily but struggle with that as well. I have been addicted to porn since I would say 13 or 14 when I first had an orgasm by rubbing up against a pillow. After this is went downhill. I am glad I can admit it is a disease today though. My other vice is drinking but generally I can keep that to 2-3 a day and don’t feel the guilt that I feel when I masturbate to porn. Masturbating to my wife I feel ok to but it’s the porn aspect that really brings me guilt. Anyways I am attempting a 90 day reboot even without an orgasm. I am really doubtful that I can accomplish this as the first time that I tried, I failed due to pain buildup in my testicles. Anyways I don’t think there has been a more open and honest introduction to myself and I hope I don’t offend but I believe there will be no healing if there is no admission of guilt and lack of honesty. I do feel that I hold integrity and am proud of how far I have come. I feel that in helping others that I can help myself in my goals and ambitions. Other things about me is that I love to play chess and I like to snowboard. I also love music and play bass in a Metal band. My favorite instrument is the keyboard, however, and I love the drums as well. I hope by getting to know me I breathe knew life into you as I truly want to be a light in this world as Jesus has asked. I also struggle at excelling at anything and can’t find what I am good at. This causes a lot of frustration inside of me and I constantly have other people telling me what to do. So much so that I don’t even know what I want from myself. I think I will get there. I believe that I am a tree that takes a full life to grow. I hope with efforts such as these my roots will grow deep and that I bring inspiration to those around. Because in truth and actuality I am a shy and timid person, often afraid of talking to people in real life. But I am funny and a lovely person to come across in your life. If any of you are in the are I would love to have a coffee and talk through things to help in person as well. I am the Simcoe County area and make regular trips to Barrie Ontario. Would love to meet some local fapstronauts. I wish you all the best in the journey and may God grant you wisdom and success.