Post published by Leone

I am back again after messing up for a while! I admit i lost control of my life! I have become someone I never thought I would. It's not that i am hurting anyone, but still i am hurting myself, and this kind of life and addiction has to stop immediately. Enough beating myself up, I am so tired that after 15 years being addicted to pmo I have not changed one bit. I have had this problem for 25 years but mostly mo, no p. Since I started having internet at home about 15 years ago, that's when trouble started with p. Before that wasn't that bad. I would watch p maybe once in a couple of months or so and mo once in two or 3 weeks. Now every gadget has a tv screen with access to internet and most of us are losing total control watching garbage online. Total lifestyle has to change for me, starting from prayers, sleeping pattern to exercising etc... I do miss a nice lady in my life as this addiction has made it possible for me to be single. I pmo to find a way out of depression, out of frustration and trying to forget my useless past. Things obviously don't get better with pmo, during time they get worse and worse. I could have stopped pmo when i joined nofap about 9 years ago but I am still here and still the same. I am sure i relate to many people on this forum and probably I am writing their life story here, but this is my battle and i have to start fighting for the righteousness. I know God still loves me the same and I know that His blessings will always be with me. God is love and the only way I start to do the right thing, is to stay close to God daily, finally I figured the hard way that there is no way around it. No more excuses 'i don't have time for this or that', God will bless us every time when we take time to spend with him and not choose that miserable life over and over again. Today I start over, today I say, "Thank you Father God for another day". Let's all fight together and finally win. Today is the day to say no to pmo. God has a lot of blessings for us when we allow it