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Post published by Jonathan Damon
Hi, folks! I'm a 22 year old guy. I discovered that i have had premature ejaculation only a few months ago.
I had gone to my new girlfriend's house and we had our fun until she said, "why get me horny if you don't want to do it." And so I did, but i felt myself coming in just four penetrations. Quickly removed and started asking her if she was ready for us to really have sex. From then i started avoiding it us having sex, acting as if i was concerned with us having sex in our second week going out. We fooled around a lot, she actually said she was mind blown by my fooling around games, which was good. But still in my mind i had a war going on. I also happen to feel like my size is relatively small, if its not erect there is hardly anything there that can seize a girl's eye( I mean, it's not always going to be erect when she will see it right? Taking a shower with her was my biggest fear!). Now i have another problem on top of that! I had another girlfriend and the problem continued, sometimes i'd even cum in fooling around(kissing and all). I only got involved in these sex plays because the girls asked.
And also only broke up with them because of the anxiety i get, and not feeling confident every time she asked me to allow her to touch and play with my penis. Also, I'm a Christian. And i know it might not matter much, but the soul fight gets extreme from there. I have always wondered why do i not get those girls who want sex after marriage, right? Make myself deal with this stuff first. But the i always come around with the otherwise girls. And i end up getting involved in these sex things.
I masturbate with online porn pictures regularly, here and there, not so much. I have heard masturbation causes PE as well? But then i have read stories of people not stopping but teaching themselves techniques of masturbation that may help. Meaning masturbating almost three times a day, with the"squeeze" and or "start-stop" techniques. (And asking myself at the same time if masturbation is a clean act in front of God? Asking then how could i ever cure this PE if masturbation, the only way to cure PE myself without drugs, is not pure) Now i'm stuck. I really need to help myself at-least try cure my premature ejaculation. Not sure where to start now. Thanks.
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Jonathan Damon
Thank you so much @Grandpa61 We surely can! We so surely can!
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Walk_it_out
Absolutely my friend! I can relate to those feelings too. The shame and the guilt. It may be that the Lord is helping you to understand His will? You are a believer in Christ so His spirit lives in you bro to teach you right from wrong. It can be such a difficult journey though right?? But in the end God just wants us to know the right paths so that we can experience his life completely inside of us. We feel those things cuz He disciplines the ones He loves..If you can see it as love it helps a million to be obedient!
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Jonathan Damon
Thank you very much brethren, this has never been so clear to me like it is now. Thank you very much. God bless you brethren. I'm an aspiring film maker. I have been writing and developing a screenplay about my experiences about all these things as I am, but then with the focus of having a third act that will make it all about God regardless of how disturbing the story is, because i did go through these things as a child of God. You must know that were apart of my story. And i will always be thankful. Thank you so much!
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Walk_it_out
You are very welcome! That is really cool to make such a film. I agree, put the whole story in it. It is your testimony. Testimonies are so powerful to help people! Especially when we are honest so that they know they are not alone. Well, may God bless your efforts and give you great wisdom and direction in your life!
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Myfortress
Keep checking in on this group. Follow some people who inspire you and get an accountability partner.
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Dmodee
Just my two cents. But I believe it happens because of how big of a deal you let it be in your heart and thought life. When it doesn’t have to be, but with me on a lot of things I don’t see until looking back. Best of luck and may Peace be with you
Romans 6 23, Walk_it_out, Jonathan Damon and 1 other person like this.
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Romans 6 23
First let me say, Welcome jonathan! glad you found nofap and this group. One thing stood out to me "I have always wondered why do i not get those girls who want sex after marriage" maybe because youre not the type of guy who wants to wait til after marriage? We are all sinners. But maybe next time you meet a nice girl don't rush into sex.
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Romans 6 23
I hope this doesnt come off as judgemental. I'm not saying this out of a "don't do this because of the bible" but from my personal experience. I had 10 sexual partners before my wife. I wish i could go back to my 22 year old self and said "stop!" ultimately I just kept seeking more sex/new partners and it stole from my marriage. It also created problems for me that i now have to deal with. Stop looking at all porn and stop having sex/fooling around. Maybe at least wait til you are in a very serios relationship.
Jonathan Damon, Dmodee, Delirious 1 2018 and 1 other person like this.
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Delirious 1 2018
You have to follow the path you are called to...if these acts make you feel bad about yourself, they can't be right for you. So follow the path Jesus is showing you. Be courageous and patient and rely on Him for strength and guidance.
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Jonathan Damon
@Romans 6 23 Hi, not at allAnd i meant in the sense that i am the victim. I am the one meeting girls who want sex as soon as we get into a relationship, and i have no been able to stand my ground. I am very held back guy, i think more than i respond to things. And it led me to all this fooling around with the two girls I've been with. So i meant as in I want someone who can wait. Sorry if i wasn't too clear. And thanks a lot brother, i will wait.
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Jonathan Damon
@Delirious 1 2018 Wow thank you! Like i mentioned, i would go for weeks feeling this grief, not able to think straight of what exactly am i doing while the girl would be wondering what am i going on about. That i'm old enough. but the feeling is such a horrible thing for days! Thank you very much brother!
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Romans 6 23
I once heard someone say "don't look for the 'right one' be the right one". In so many ways we look for the perfect partner but you will find her by being that perfect partner. Also where are you meeting these girls? online, school, from friends? Try joining a young adults group at a church. When I look back on my past I don't think "man, I wish I had had 15 or 20 oartners" or "I wish I had looked at more porn". Also feel free to message me, brother. Hang in there!
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italianbread
I hate to be this guy but someone's gotta be tough on you... Stop fooling around... you aren't going to make it if you continue.
The curse will get stronger
Dmodee, Jonathan Damon, Knighthawk and 2 others like this.
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Myfortress
Jonathan I think what you need us to discover the truth and doctrines of your Christian faith by reading the Bible, going to church and being a member of a body of believers. We can help start you on that journey here. Do you have a good church family?
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Grandpa61
“To find the right person, you must first BE the right person.”
Merrill Markoe, Walking in Circles Before Lying Down
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Jonathan Damon
@italianbread not at all brother, i surely get what you are saying. Thanks man!
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Jonathan Damon
Howdy @Myfortress thanks a lot brother, yes i have given my life to Christ last Sunday. It was a life changing moment for me. I had always been going to church but never really given my life to the Lord in front of a congregation
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Myfortress
That's awesome. Praise God! Now you can start exploring your relationship with your Savior. Reply here or PM if you have any questions or concerns.
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Grandpa61
Yes, that’s awesome! You’re not only a friend but you are now a brother in Christ!
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Simileven
I had quite a similar problem as you did. I am very careful to generalize, but I can offer you some advice if you like. Please PM me if you'd like me to share it with you.
Jonathan Damon likes this.