Post published by Nferton
Salve, Brothers.
I write this from a deep feeling of despair and darkness. After a month of continuous relapsing i dont feel myself strenght and determined enough to change this situation. I can't simply abandon myself on God hands. I usually pray, confess, go to mass and adoration but I still relapse and that leads me to the inevitable feeling that God has teared me away from him, in some way - that i'm alone. And then come the questions: how do I overcome the feeling that Love itself has abandoned me? How can I change my lifes situation without Him, who'd given me life and everything i have?
I still trust on Him and his (my) Mother, who im sure she'll take me back to the right way, but when will that happen? Then I try not to despair, but...
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Delirious 1 2018
Jesus will ALWAYS forgive you if you ask--he has already saved you by taking your sin upon him on the cross and rising again. You will do the same. Keep asking Mary for help EVERY time you're struggling. Don I am praying for you.
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Delirious 1 2018
sorry--hit send by mistake--meant to say Don't let Satan make you feel abandoned. I am praying for you.
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Delirious 1 2018
when I left work, I prayed a Hail, Mary for you, then in the car prayed a whole rosary again for everyone on this site, especially for you. when I finished praying and turned on the radio, KLOVE was playing Zach Williams "Fear, He Is A Liar". Since this song embodies what I was saying earlier, so I think it was a message for you, so I'm posting it. Please listen to the song.
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TwoOfCups
Hi Nferton. Don’t despair and don’t give up! I know how you are feeling. I went through a similar period. I went for 8 weeks without PMO. Then I relapsed. I then went through several months of increasingly more frequent relapses until they were almost daily. I began to depair. I did not think I had the ability (or even the desire) to quit. I asked God for help…
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TwoOfCups
Then (I am sure it was by God’s prompting) I began reading about porn addiction and the withdraw symptoms. Through the reading, I began to recognize what was causing me to relapse. For example, there is a phenomenon called “the chaser effect”; approximately 24 to 48 hours after a relapse you go through a phase where you are extremely horny and want to have another O. If you make it beyond the 48 hours, the desire seems to lessen…
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TwoOfCups
Also, I found that initially I could resist looking at porn. However, as I went through the withdraw, I would find myself looking at images that were ‘technically’ not porn, but were, nonetheless, arousing. These images would cause me to lose my willpower and I would relapse. I found that I had to ban all these porn substitutes…
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TwoOfCups
I now look at my heavy relapse period as simply a learning experience. I recognize the temptations and am better prepared to resist them. I recommitted myself to the idea of quitting and I asked Jesus to help walk me through it. Currently, I am on Day 43 and going strong. When I am feeling weak or tempted, I ask Jesus to help me. He always does. My advice is: Don’t quit. Learn from your relapses. Try again and ask Jesus for help. I will pray for you.
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green lion eating the sun
go to your closest church, i felt like you, go to the House of God. you'll feel His embrace
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Nferton
Thank you, brothers! These days have been very difficult to me, but now I feel far better. Its amazing how strong the power of the community is.
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Nferton
Ive talked today with a priest friend that have given me good advices. My friends group helps me a lot, too, and you all by encouraging me.
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Nferton
I have a new purpose for the next month on praying, going to mass and reading helpful books in order to keep myself spiritually balanced and healthy. Lets see how it goes. Thank you, again, for your comments, encouragement, prayers and love!
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