Hi, fellas. I have been retaining for 140+ days now, and i noticed something peculiar. Most of semen retention practitioners(and nofappers in general) says that you should not to have any lustful thoughts towards women(and to porn of course). That this is sort of "hidden" energy leak. That maybe have some logic, but without any thought towards women i have noticed that i lost all desire in real life. Before, if i sough attractive women, i would feel urges to do something. Maybe to approach, or something else. If i cultivate those thoughts i indeed start to arrpoach them, but it soon starts to preoccupy my whole brain. I noticed, that i cannot think of anything else, only to burnout over a week of this cymbal monkey in my brain. So, from that perspective i understand, that any thought would lead to loss of energy. On the other hand, if i forbid myself completely to think about women, then there is no burnout. No sleepless nights, full of agitation. But there is no women aswell. I just stop seeing them in real life. Maybe for a lot of SR guys that is exactly what they want, but this is not for me. I want to notice women. I want to talk to them and to flirt with them. So, my question is - what to do with that? How one finds the middleground?
Respectful thoughts, seeing women as human beings, only look in their eyes/faces, seeking of a serious relationship
I would ony look in their faces, if they would dress decently. I don't think it is applicable in our time, when a lot of women walking in the streets basically half-naked. Also, i don't want serious relashionships now.
It's your effort to do that, and it's possible, trust me. The only thing you need is discipline and self-control of your passions
I don't want to not look at women, mate. Anyway, that is not what my post was about. Read carefully next time, so you wont give useless generic advices.
How I find middleground is having standards for what kind of women I allow to get my attention, because this is a big world, and I know what I'm looking for. Another part of this "middleground" is by having goals and working towards them. By being focused on your vision, you'll be less likely to allow yourself to get sidetracked and focus entirely on women. Hope this helps
Maybe try to allow yourself to think about women from a marital perspective. Think about the whole package and the end goal you want. If all you wanted was sex, you could find that at most bars, or pick up apps, but if you are here, you want something more meaningful: A life long relationship, a mother for your children, someone to grow old with, someone who is there for you when everyone else isn't. You don't go house shopping and only obsess over a bathroom, you look at the whole package and you think about things that meet multiple needs, and how the house will hold up and meet your needs as you age or have children. Have the same thoughts toward a woman.
haha well...Im kind of a hermit there...kinda antisocial a bit,still working on my inferiority complexes,bue yes i beleive..discipline....
I think it’s a good thing… this way… you will only have desire for a woman who you really, really, really like a lot with lustful thoughts, we like any woman basically who shows even an inch of skin
Im hanging in there in reference to this.....love skin and at times envy other people haha..working on it
what i need right now is some serious dopamine detox. i have been watching movies and TV shows on a binge since the last month and a half, my whole day consists of doing morning classes and then spending the day away watching movies and TV shows. i do need to feel happier but this isn't the way.
You sound a bit aggressive, brother. Why do you let a little comment get you so upset? If you want long-lasting recovery from PMO, I would work to eliminate lust thoughts towards women. That's the only strategy that worked for me long-term. Your case may be different.
...the more I have become focused in my addictions and the damage it has done ,the more I become focused in as to how I feel now-way calmer than I've ever been.And "noo"....at this point,of having any relationship whatsoever...I mean...whatever kind of relationship it might be.I feel more at peace with myself......and why mess it up with a relationship. Mind you I'm not a hermit but this is working for me.
..remember bro...if you fall,well just get up again and start over.We're not perfect and will always make mistakes.But hey.....grow from those mistakes...don't repeat them.