36 days hardmode my brothers. Going good! 20% of the journey is done. Proud of myself Walking in the halls of Moria... Yesterday was hard, because i was feeling really tired and with little sleep. But i manage to do most of my things, and i´m really proud of it! My sleep last night was good, so i have a little more energy. Althought i will keep things simple and smooth like yesterday because i still don´t feel i can stretch myself too much No urges or temptations, feeling solid. Have a great sunday Fellowship!! And...
Celebrating double digits at the old watch tower of Amon Sul. Keeping diligent watch for lurking PMO forces. Day 10 = Complete
Day 10. Spending a cozy night in the very old Watchtower, while the PMO forces are keeping an eye on me.
I was about to watch porn, but that's the very moment where I have to stop myself. I'm on day 2, I got my first quest item and, as I already stated, I'm not gonna loose that sword again! Of course I "want" to watch porn and of course I have petty excuses why I could do it once more. That's the addiction. For too long I have ignored the mechanics of addiction and refrained from doing the recovery work. Recovery work - that means dealing with the urges and the thoughts; and remind myself that I can't believe my thoughts. I have to prioritize recovery and I have to get consistent with it. My current rank reflects my state of recovery. Yes, I'm an experienced fapstronaut, but I used to be better, I was way farther on the road of recovery. It's not acceptable to stay in this realm of misery, where my abstinence doesn't go further than a few days, while the active addiction is like a roaring lion, feeding my brain constantly. Behavior become habits become destiny - you have no time left! NOW OR NEVER - that must be the name of the game. Every single day without exception!
30 days Medium urges yesterday, starting to feel strong cravings, but good habits help to avoid relapsing Today I worked out and took a cold shower Keep strong my brothers.