Day 47. Check In. Workout Day - 38. Had very strong urges last night. Very hard days but I want to go as clean as possible. End the year with a 50 mark! What I want to write here tomorrow : Day 48. I am committed to this today.
Hello friends. I've been doing terrible of late...my mood has been low and feeling anxious and frustrated and it has led me back to PMO with increasing regularity and this is just adding to my self loathing....so I am starting afresh today and I am going to post everyday in this group to try and maintain my resolve and see if I can get a streak going. I'm also going to try and stay occupied by going to the gym and going on walks with friends
Day 47. Watching Porn/Fapping kind of feels like eating McDonalds at this point... I kind of want to do it, but I know it's bad for me, so I don't. There haven't been any urges for like a week. I'm sure they'll come back at some point, but this is definitely the most disinterested in porn I've ever been.
Feeling really good today. It's not that I feel like I have more energy (though that's true as well) but that I have more potential. I'm not just treading water anymore, slowly improving things, it feels more like I can just go and make things happen whenever I want to. I'm sure the fact that I'm on holidays helps quite a bit as well, but hoping this feeling continues on even when I go back to work.
Hi guys. Checking in. 135 days. No urges , but I don't have much libido either. Must be another flatline. If I stumble across some erotic images on internet these days ,they do not appear as sexual content to me. They are some meaningless pictures. Happy New Year Everybody
Ugh I relapsed.. Binged on MO for 2 days (4 times) but didn't watch any P. Guess that's something but still frustrating. Will reset my counter soon :/ For me it's always a stressful situation that leads me to relapse. I couldn't sleep because I was worried about something and then around 4am when I'm at my weakest and most tired I slip up. Then the chaser effect comes in. So annoying! Happy new year everyone!
This same reason also makes me relapse. But I trying my best to fight stress and do not overthink about the problems. I guess exercise is helping a bit in this matter.
Day 49. Streak is at 7 weeks. Only 11 more days till I hit the next award milestone. Have not had any real urges for 2 weeks now. If there is any sort of pattern, then it should start spiking up in the next few days, although I still have another full week of holiday so my stress is at an all time low, so I'll probably be fine all week.
@optimistic7 - Congrats on your 60 days today. You have won the 60 Day Heavy Lifter Award. Keep up the good work.
Day 50. Checking In. To be honest, it was a terrible last night and horrible start of today in morning. I had very strong urges and even took a peek of triggers, Psubs in the night. Because of that I didn't slept well and this caused me to feel low in energy in the morning and I skipped the workout. But my brain was at its worst and managed me to sit in front of screen and peek at some triggers again! But due to the grace of god , I collected all my senses back and reminded myself about my dreams, about the miseries of life so far, what I want to be, I also thought on how it would feel if I relapse! I was literally scared and ran away from the screen to different area of my apartment. I kept thinking there and reminded myself that this is just a screen, look at yourself you are alone and you are just playing with yourself and ruining your own life. I kept thinking and hammering thoughts like this for about 20 mins and kept walking here and there in the house. I also remembered the disrespect I gave gotten in my life because of being a loser all the time. Then I suddenly started to clean the room and after I while I felt really good. I felt good may be because I won over my urges or may be because I substituted the dopamine urge with some other work. I don't know but this is going to be a really really tough day for me. I want to mark day 50 and say good bye to the year as a winner and welcome the new year more confidently. Other thing is my brain was trying hard to trick me constantly to start the new streak from 1st January, damn! that is so bad. There is nothing in 1st January if you don't make it a success today. If you keep falling into the trap of your brain you will never escape! So, this is it so far. I am safe and contended to make it a better day than yesterday. I would do measures for that, may be I will go outside and tire myself, I don't have a plan yet, but I won't PMO for sure. Keep up the good work, guys! It is worth it. You will remember the feeling after you fight your own urges and win!
I also want to say sorry for peeking triggers, psubs. I should be completely clean because it is the best way to live.
It's just a wave of urges. If you tough it out, you will be fine in just a few days. You have to be extremely vigilant the next few days, as looking at triggers will now send your brain crazy for dopamine, but it is possible to push through it. (I did something similar around Day 20 of this streak, and never reset/relapsed, though the few days afterwards were very difficult) Don't forget that taking a cold shower does wonders. Together all the way! Day 60 is just around the corner. I don't know about you, but I'm planning to go clean all 2023.
I also planning to go clean all 2023. Actually, I have been planning this every new year since ages. Thank you for your support bro!
Anothe relapse yesterday, i think my job is added pressure to my recovery theough overworking. I hope this will the last time , and 2023 will PMO free , wish you all the luck brothers
