I feel pathetic. I have barely any friends and I don’t really understand why people would like me. I add nothing to anyones lives. I also feel like a fucking fake or fraud. I talk about the things I’m into a lot and it probably looks like I’m better at them than I actually am. I sink hours into things because I like them and admire them just to see how shit I really am. I put so much importance on these things as well. Nothing interesting is happening in my life. I feel like I’m just waiting for something to happen. I’ve got 2 friends and I don’t even know how much they value me. They don’t know the real sad pathetic side to me either. It honestly feels like I’m a liar. I’ve got no sense of real confidence or strength either. I’m fucking pathetic. I want to say I’m nice but I know I’m just a push over with nothing to him. Nothing at all. What should I do to change?
Life is not easy. There are no clear cut solutions. You are young. If you hit rock bottom, it's easier to improve. Work on yourself (looks, health, set some goals and hobby). Such changes will do you no harm. They will increase your chances of success. But it's only my view and it won't change your life in a second. And have hope in yourself. Good luck!
What would you tell them about yourself, if you knew there would be no consequences (i.e. no judgement, ridicule, mockery, or ending friendships) for telling them? That depends: What don't you like about yourself?
Thanks for the reply. I think I’d want to paint a full picture of myself. I know that I’m not all bad but I also know of how bad I can be. I’d tell them: •About how I’m a complete push over. People may think I’m just moral which isn’t so true. I practically just do what I’m told. In an argument I sulk away like a little pussy. I literally have had feuds with ppl where I argue a bit, try and get away and when I do have thoughts of doing extremely violent things to them I could never imagine actually doing with the weak feeble body and mind I have. I’m a completely social reject. I’ll try and be funny or entertaining to someone and just realise that’s something I just can’t do. I can’t even truly express myself. I don’t have any real potential with women either. I can barely get a conversation really going. •I’d tell them about where I am sexually. I’ve struggled with my sexuality my whole life and turned away from it by developing fetishes to porn. I’m not gay but I’ve basically already liked the idea of having fairly feminine relationships. I don’t personally see anything wrong with this or dislike myself for it but I know that it just wouldn’t be realistic and wouldn’t happen. •I’d tell them about how on the inside despite being quiet I fucking crave attention and dream for it •I’d tell them about how I dreamt up some inflated ego to stop myself from hating myself and desperately changing •I’d tell them about how I’m not half as good at the things I love doing and admire as they would think. •I’d tell them about how I’m selfish and don’t really do much to ever really help people I’m not some complete asshole. I’m respectful and polite to others and I have personality traits I would personally admire in myself but there’s also a hell of a lot up with me and it’s about time I address it.
Focus on the positive in you. Everyone has the negative part - for me it's fear, addiction, low self-esteem. But there are positive things you can build the foundation for your recovery and growth. Being negative of yourself and focusing only on your failures is a counterproductive strategy. Brain of a depressed or negative person tends to ignore both tiny and great achievements. You need to "force" or train your brain on concentrating on the positive. This is not turning your life into a fairy tale about unicorns. But seeing only the negative and failures is not the reality - it's a lie the brain wants us to believe.
Thanks for the reply I appreciate it. I feel like I’ve sort of dipped in and out of unrealistically high self esteem and low self esteem a lot. Whilst it’s good to be self aware, I feel like it’s crushing sometimes and you focus too much on negatives whilst ironically doing very little about them.
Two things bro: quit PMO and don't focus too much on yourself. Start thinking about people around you, and in ways to help them out, and to benefit them. We weren't created to be so much self focused. True hapinness comes from being useful and helpful to others, to serve people with the gifts God has given you. Wish you success.
yes hitting rock bottom is necessary to notice nothing you currently do works for you anymore and you need to face that reality every day to start to change and grow
when you start working on yourself, you will start to realise you are not so bad as you thought, you just didn't understand yourself. you're basically currently an unaccomplished version of yourself but it will improve week after week. trust your intuition.
You must also take into account the distance between expectations vs reality. Life is more complicated than that. It's not true that you can achieve anything. Just work hard and have a positive attitude. For some people some tasks are way easier, for others it may be a grind. One need to discover his natural talents - sometimes soft skills - like reliability matter in life but they don't always earn money. But everything must start with hope and positive attitude until you try out things and see what appeals to you.