"I will take responsibility for what I have done. If I must fall, I will rise each time a better man." Rise again, my friend
7 days clean again. It has been a whole week. I have had hard times but being PMO free is better than anything porn can give me.
Day 4 I thought I had posted last night, but I realized just now that I had not on The LotR Challenge, just on one of the challenges I am a part of. Almost on day 5. Had a close call tonight, where I started looking, but then I go distracted before I saw to much and next thing I knew, I was a watching some sketches by this comedian, and porn was no longer on my mind. Anyway, I am going to bed, heading into 5 days clean. Best, Mathman1994
Day 23. Honestly my mind feels so much clearer these days but I also put that down to eating better and practicing Yin Yoga each night before bed. Also it's 45 days since my last alcoholic beverage which was a trigger for me and I don't plan on drinking anytime soon.
Day 0 Reason for relapse Extremely toxic work environment... Guys and girls of my uni group are trash All they know is how to gaslighting.. We had a project and we were working on it together and all my groups mates are so selfish they make entire burden of the group work to be on me. . What worse when I give them suggestions for edit they discard it and then gaslight me as if I am wrong.. They are so toxic I swear.. Below average performing people.. Not that I judge anybody by how they perform etc but imaging doing nothing, making me do all the work I have Been working since 12 hours straight and showing no gratitude.. Whole all they ever worked was 30 minutes if any... While everyone is sitting at home and preparing for the presentation.. And i have to Handle all the stuff.. While they play victim card, gaslighting me,arrogance and all other bs.. As soon as I am done with the work I am gonna block all toxicity.. From my life.. I am very sad for today's relapse.. Surround yourself with high quality Ppl Who know how to treat others.. Ah I am so angry.. But this time I was assertive
I just fell. I let down my guard, I stayed in bed longer than I should have and I ended up falling. Day 0
1 day my brothers and sisters. Thanks for all your support. i feel a bit shameful everytime that i relapse and must confess what i done. but i rather feel shame than to keep a secret. i´m an addict and i have a problem with porn and masturbation. and there is also another truth too it, more powerful than the previous: i was born a free man, i´m gonna die a free man. The following brothers have upgraded and reach places in Middle Earth. @thikk - Warrior / Amon Hên @dandausa - Grey Wizard / Black Gate of Mordor @Phil GD - Uruk-Hai @mocoko - Dwarf / Moria @Samurai_God - Uruk-Hai @Verissimus - Bree / Eriador Onward Fellowship!!!!!
Agreed, alcohol and drugs are a slippery slope leading you to the "cliff of relapse". It's not on the map of middle earth, but it is there
I have been noticing my brain trying to get me to do things to get easy dopamine, like staring at a hot actress in a tv show or watching a hot lead singer in a band on Youtube. So I read my trigger plan this morning (haven't read it in a while because I've been busy on work-related stuff from morning to night lately) and I was reminded that I have been breaking my no internet after 8 rule. I have been breaking it due to work and not not leisure, but my addict brain saw that opening and tried to take advantage. Just like Gollum's split personality. Sneaky. Back to basics for me. No internet after 8pm. Less TV, more books. Only score dopamine from achieving my goals.