Okaii so im 14,been binging porn since what,11? I'm kinda social,but my goal is be that popular guy that everybody knows I have been talking to two girls in this qurantine,both of them 11/10,I was crushing on one already but then i came out of it, lets call her A, I've become really close to her now but idk if she actually wants to date at all or if she's interested in me,heck i don't know if i myself want to date either,then there's B,who is a friend of a friend,i rarely talk to her but i get the feeling she likes me,what do I do? I don't wanna outright ask if they like me
First figure out if you want to date. When you are sure you want to date... With A: ask her out, is easy as that. "Hey, when are you free to get together?" If she want's to date you she is going to make it easy for the both of you to get together. If she is not, then she is going to bring a lot of excuses to not get together or she maybe say yes but just as friends. Never agree to meet just as friends or keep chatting just as friends. Or you go out on a date or you stop wasting time talking to her. With B: Never ask a woman if she likes you. Just ask her out and see what she responds. Note: if you ask her if she want to go out she can say "Yes, we can go out sometime", that's she leaving you invitation in the air. You want a day and time for the date, not a promise that someday you are going to date. A girl that is not interested are going to leave it in the air but the are not going to commit to any day or time, she is going to be really busy to do it. In the other hand a woman that is interested, no matter how much busy she is, she is going to make time to date you. Is easy as that... So, ask her out and see what she responds and you are going to know exactly what she feels about dating you.
"Never ask a woman if she likes you" that might be the best thing I've heard yet,I would ask her to a date,but (big words alert) i wanna date to marry problem is she doesn't follow the same religion and i know that once school ends this isn't gonna go anywhere and it'll lead to a breakup anyway, I've been trying to not fall into that trap but i still wanna date, and around a month back was when we actually started talking *again* and we've become really close since then but i made it clear that i wanted to be just a friend since i've tried to ask her out before but that didn't work that well,now i don't know whether i should ask her out again, (the firsy time she didn't even know me that well so it would be obvious she'd reject me,but my porn induced lovesick stupid brain didn't register that) Also she's the only one whom I've told about my addiction from my friends,and she's shared a lot of deep stuff too,idk what to make of it,if i ask her and she denies i still wanna remain friends,is that a good idea? She's litterally become a part of my routine
you are just 14! you should better date a lot of woman until you really know whats out there and can choose a proper wife. Don't make a big mistake marring the first woman that shows interest in you. don't worry about the future, if you can go and date a woman do it. Enjoy the experience, you are really young and have a lot to learn about woman. Simple fact about attraction between man a woman. A woman knows in seconds if she is attracted to you or not. If she is, she is going to be interested in known you better and go out on dates. If she is not, no matter what.. she is going to reject you. this tell me that she wasn't interested in you. it doesn't matter she didn't know you yet. You just wasn't her ty Here´s another never to the list... NEVER tell the girl you want to date you flows. Is like going to a job interview and tell the company that you are dealing with drugs or you are a fugitive from the law. Keep this kind of information to you male friend and at most family. yes, this is what she does with her FRIENDS! you are basically one more of his friends, nothing more. You are basically in the friendzone, and girl put in friendzone the guys they don't have any interest of dating. The worst part is that you put yourself in friendzone. You basically though that you can fly under the radar just as a friend, and after talking to her a lot she will see the great guy you are and want to date you. Well... it doesn't work that way. Once in friendzone she is going to see you as just a friend for life. The worst idea ever. Never settle for less than what you want. You want to date her, been just his friend is settleling for less than what you want. This is a negotiation, you want to date and she just wants friendship. You are friends so she is winning the negotiation. That is making you look weak in her eyes, and that is a turn off for every woman. A woman wants a guy that can stand up for what he wants. Are you going to be happy when she start to tell you about the guy she has a crush with? or worst, she can start to tell you about his new boyfriend, how he do everything you want to do to her.. believe me, that is going to be torture for you. finally.. my advice in your situation: Put you big boy pants and ask her out on a date. Be very clear about been a date. If she say yes, great! set a date with place, day and time and have fun with her. If she say no, that she just wants to be friends or give you any excuses for no to date, you then proceed and tell her that it's ok but that friendship is not more an option for you because you realized you wanted more than friendship with her.. like going out on a date and see what happens. (not serious, but not friendship). She is probably going to try to convince you and keep you as a friend, you have to be firm in your decision, or you date or you stop talking. And when i mean stop talking is stop talking 100% with her. no message, no text, no wapp, no insta, nothing. if you randomly see her in person just wave at her kindly and keep walking, if she stop to talk to you speak to her a few seconds and leave the conversation, you are busy to talk to her. You are going to show her with your actions that you are not going to be her friend anymore, and the only way you two are going to talk again is if she agrees to go out on a date. if not.. she is going to have the gift of missing you. This is the only way to go out of friendzone an make her re-evaluate what she thinks about you. Walk away from friendzone and maybe you have a chance to date her, stay in friendzone and suffer when she start telling you about her love life. your call! good luck!
The first words that in come in mind after reading this were "oh f***",I'll ask her on a date sure,but a)i have no idea how a date works and b)until and unless this COVID is over,this date womt happen even if she says yes,do i ask her to a date out of the blue and when it isnt gonna happen in the foreseeable future? Also im an idiot and I said that i didn't wanna date her anymore (which was true at the time) but now that my heart's betrayed,do I try again? And according to what you said she's gonna reject me again,(already thought that was gonna happen) do i outright say that I don't want to be just friends then or do i just stop talking? If the latter,could I just stop without asking her since i know the answer? And the most important question of all-are you telling me to date for fun and not to into anything serious? (Okay this sounds stupid once im saying it bit still)
Every relationship stats with casual dating. So.. every girl you start dating take it as casual dating. Going out and having fun. Eventually if you really have fun with her and like her personality after a couple of months both are going to grow feelings for each other and maybe want to turn this casual dating in something more serious. Take your time to really know her with several dates before you decide she is girlfriend material. In the meantime have fun with her and if you want with other girls until you pick one to date seriously. A Date is easy. Do something with her alone and in person where you can talk a lot and have fun. That's it! Of course go for the kiss before the date ends. Is doesn't matter if you don't find the perfect time to do it, just go for the kiss, if she likes you she is going to kiss you back, if not she is probably going to give you the cheek, or tell you that she want to go slow, or she is not ready to kiss you. The kiss is the difference between been friends and really start dating. If she rejects to kiss you on a first date don't ask her out again... you are wasting your time. If she ask you on a 2nd maybe you can agree to ti, make her go to a place close to your house and go for the kiss again on the 2nd date. if she again say no, then tell her that you are not interested in friendship and you are looking for a girls that is ready and happy to kiss you back. If she still don't want to kiss you bak, just tell her that you should stop seen each other and only contact you if she is willing to gou out and kiss you back. For people my age going out and have a beer is the best way to go for a first date, at your age you can go for an ice-cream, or to eat something. Planning the date is on you! F*k covid... is killing dating.. well in your case I guees you are speaking online, then stop messaging her first. Let her reach out to you. When she do, ask her to do a videocall on the evening, no more text. The videocalls are going to be your "dates" douring covid. If she is not willing to do it, guess what.. she just like you as a text buddy. Is the same as rejecting a date. You don't want that, so let her know that. or you start dating with videocalls and in person (when covid allows it) or you should better stop talking because friendship is not more an option for you with her.
See buddy,everyone wants to be a popular guy in school and I agree with that but what is more important is being yourself,just cuz you want everyone to notice you doesn't mean you have to change your behavior or anything instead try dealing with your insecurities,and if you will be too nice to everyone you will become a nice guy stereotype who is awkward and no one wants to be with him,and still you want to grab everyone's attention then take action rather than bragging around of things you are willing to do just fricking do them Bro,first get to a conclusion of which one do you want as a potential date and after that just be transparent with her and DONT HIDE YOUR INSECURITIES cuz when you are in a relationship staying transparent to each other will help it alot And if she rejects you just think that you both cannot be happy together anyway cuz you've been so transparent to her,and one more thing is dont always expect much from her
Her birthday is in a few days-i managed to get her into a video call at 11:50 pm,10 mins before her birthday (could you call that a date?) This was before i asked our for help so im guessing i got the right idea,now what do i say during that? Do i ask for more video calls or? And everything you said till now makes perfect sense,bur since we're just 14,some parents may not allow them to go on a date,even if they say they're just meeting a friend,also if im gonna ask someone on a date i probably already know them from school or somewhere else,so it isn't the whole strangers thing,does that effect anything?
Firstly-when i say 'the popular guy" i don't mean the guy that everyone likes, I meant the guy that everyone knows,I have no interest in changing myself,im clear i wanna date A,idk what i feel about B,and A is the person who knows me closest out of everyone (family AND friends) that speaks for itself,thanks for the advice tho
You have to let her know that you are no longer interested in been just his friend. If you dont, the videocall is going to be a friendly videocall. If you are not able to date her in person because of covid and later because of her parents then you are doomed.. you are getting deeper and deeper in friendzone. Every day you are getting more and more attracted to her but for her you are just a good friend. You are approaching a hard wall at full speed and is going to be painfull when you crash. If i were you, and dating is not posible for the moment i would just stop talking to her. And when she talk to me i would just tell her that i dont want to be just her friend over the phone, and because we cant date in person i prefer to stop talking for the moment until we can go out on a date and see what happens. Of course, she is not going to like it, but at least you are going to get out of friendzone and maybe have a chance once covid is over
And if your clear about it then be the best version of yourself and try prioritizing your life in 3 or 5 tiers,in this way you can better understand what you really want.
That sounds difficult, I'm up for it, I've already done your advice on not starting the conversation,Thanks for all your advice, you've told me what to do,now its up to me to acctualy do it,once again thanks a lot
Stop focusing on getting girls like popular guys do. Invest in your career, get rich and be a strong man (financially, emotionally etc.) and women will come to you in your mid 20s. Or if you waste time chasing useless clout at this young age, you will regret it later when all the guys who secured better positions get quality women in their lives.
I understand and appreciate your concern,and I get your point,but im not neglecting my career or anything important to get girls,im doing it as an alternative to keep myself excited instead of sitting around binging porn and playing video games
Tiers are nothing but a ranking system for your habits For example: Lets say that you have a job and you have a family,the way you implement is simple 1)Tier 1 must be your most prioritized work like friends and family, important life goals and important projects in your office,anything productive it should be something from which you will benefit all the rime 2)Tier 2 must be some thing which will benefit you in some way or the other but eat a unreasonable amount of time 3)Tier 3 is something which is not worth our time addictive and counterproductive like PM and other compulsive addictionswhich should be avoided but you still have them in your life And after that you should try to eliminate the lower tier habits one at a time and replace them with a bit more healthier higher tier habits like this every single lower tier habit you eliminate will give you a better sense of accomplishment And you will stay a lot more organized like this (Note:its just an example you can manage your tiers in your own way and there is no fixed pattern do what works the best for you) Another tip do it after doing some early morning meditation like that your rational thinking skills will be on high and you will be able to manage them better
I agree with your point but use the tier system and see where dating will end up and remember to use a pen and paper to ease the process(for me dating is my tier 2 priority)
Here's the best bit of advice you can get here: Don't listen to advice given on NoFap. No need to thank me.
