At first i want sorry for my bad grammar but english isnt my first language. My problem is i develop cuckold fetish. Yesterday i spent 2 hours on cuckold chats sharing photos of my girlfriend with other man and listen how much they want sex with her and how beautiful she is . Not naked photos ofcourse. I m not okay with it and my conscience is killing me. I dont want do this anymore. My girl know about my pmo and this fethish, but i promise to her, that i stop sharing her photos and start fight with my addiction. But yesterday i felt was out of control, i was in pornographic amok or something. Really i dont want to do this anymore i know this is so perverted.
it's not just about my pmo. I fell like a looser and want real men for her. She deserve better than me. This is source of this cuckold fethis and porn of course
Be confident about yourself, in my opinion you may have this fetish because you may feel that you aren't good enough for your partner. Be self confident, and don't think that you are any less than a real man.
Then it's time to drop it. It's time to get rid of all that and start caring for her needs. Become that real man to her.
i m trying, but there was a time, when i develop some dark fethish becouse of pmo. That was much worse then cuckold. She knows about, she says that she loves me and want help me , but i cant stop punished myself in my mind. I want say to everybody that im so sorry. This fuckin porn really brainwashed me
at first i must forgive to myself, but is hard. My conscience is killing me and i think a i am bad person. a normal person wouldn't be watching this things that i watched
I can relate to your post and found a great deal of help by addressing my shame. The ways it would come out in self doubt, anger and anxiety were crazy. In my local SA recovery group we get daily messages from one of our members to help start the day. Today it helped me connect things I felt were unrelated like PMO and anger back to my shame. Check out Troy Love's podcast or YouTube. Truly remarkable but very difficult topics. You don't have to accept the shame once you know where it originates.
Seek therapy asap before you do something there's no coming back from. Today you'll share her pics with someone, tomorrow the thoughts will only get more intense. A few relapses later you may share her nude pics which may end up in a porn site. It'll only get worse from here. Seek a therapist and ask for help. All the advice you receive here won't save you from the regret if you repeat this mistake (which you will unless you seek help).
Thats why i deleted all her nude photos from my computer. I dont trust myself and i dont wanna do it someting stupid. Told her that i dont want any new nude photos becouse i cant be trusted. I know i m not best boyfriend, but i really love her
This felling of shame and anger is really hard. My girl told me that i m not a bad person. She says that im really caring and i need help not judging. I really love her so much
Please visit a therapist or even a psychiatrist. No amount of self-talk from your gf or any person over here will wipe away the urge to repeat the behavior. Even therapy may not be able to remove the urges completely, but at least the urges will reduce. But god forbid if you do engage in worse behavior and make a terrible mistake, then no amount of regret, forgiveness, shame, guilt, self-hatred will turn back the hands of time.
You have to understand that you already are a real man. Where does the cuckold fetish come from? It's either: you were being left/cheated on once you feel that your gf is attracted to other or you believe your gf can only be attracted to other guys because you can't believe that she sees you as a man All 3 of them above are actually the same psychologically. What happened? You have an axiety/trauma that she will leave/humiliate you. You don't face that anxiety and hence you avoid to cope with these issues, for example you don't tell her when you're jealous, you don't let yourself to be angry when she texts guys, etc. What happens is that you split that anxiety away from your conscious personality and identify only with that part which doesn't care about her micro "cheatings". Which of course only you perceive as cheatings because you are not able to deal with these otherwise unsignificant microactions. The sexual arousment comes from the natural function of your body to reunite both parts. Like reuniting plus and minus. Your conscious self doesn't do the work, so its done by the unconscious (sexuality). You can solve this issue by understanding that you are vulnerable and by noticing your fear to lose her! It's only my personal view, I think it's better to ask your doc or whatever. It could also be that you can't believe that she is being turned on/aroused because of you, since you don't consider yourself as someone who deserves love /attract others. Whenever she is aroused, you refer it to a third party. So what you do is you externalize the lover in you = the Bull. You have to understand that those guys who look at your gf pics are actually yourself, but you aren't able to reintegrate these parts into your consciousness yet. PMO is not the cause, anxiety is. PMO is just feeding that "kink".