Checking in. I’m currently on a vacation traveling alone in Japan. Aside from having a fulfilling time, the cold definitely helps, haha
Still temptation was great and I had to take drastic measures. So i decided to download an application that is blocking everything related to porn everywhere, even on youtube and with the option of not being able to delete it. I put a random code so that I wouldn't be in a moment of weakness. Still this application allowed me to block applications too. So I had to block the play-store, because I might be able to download another browser to bypass the program. Of course I will never be able to download new applications ever again but as I said I had to take drastic and hard measures. I feel very relieved that I made the decision, implemented it and succeeded. Thnx brothers for being supportive with me and for your replies @Saiyan123 @cr7da8055 @Snakeloa @Pedro.lives and everyone in here. Keep fighting, may God help us all. Day 188 here!
Checking in for the day. I swear the longer I've been on the journey, the more it feels like a habit I do routinely. Anyway, got besieged by a huge urge just an hour or so ago. Luckily I realized what's going on and sought aid(in the form of the panic button). Shame I couldn't detect it before it snowballed into this, but I'm still in one piece ATM.
Ok so I relapsed again. Not good. I won't do this shit again. I won't ever go back to the shit hole I was once a part of. It's time to change, or else I'll regret wasting this crucial time for the rest of my life. So fuck you pmo, I'm here to belt the fuck out of you. Day 0, this is gonna be a mad challenge to beat my old record. Anyone wanna fight with me till I reach there? Prefer someone with a currently small streak. @Saiyan123
2019 is a great year for me. I became more alpha in my mind and actions. I've studied countless hours, passed lots of exams. I went on multiple 30+ days streaks which I am grateful for. My last one was 45 days, my best one was 67 days . I dropped around 10 kilograms of bodyweight, most of it fat . My waistline was never slimmer, my legs were never slimmer, my back and shoulders were never wider . My composure was never such a great, great composure . Spirituality wise I evolve so much . I switched mainly on plant based diet. Went on multiple 10 plus days of drinking only or mainly water . Did some No music streaks and currently said to myself - that is all- I am done with that music thing for good. My appearance got better, I constantly shave now and got my heart long. Long as the norm of nowadays . I look after my teeth as I have never looked after before. I developed new relationships after hurting myself so much 8 months ago with a girl a truly, deeply, passionately loved . I decided fully that there is God, who is true and who is no KING, not a father , but a all loving God who protects me, loves me and doesn't recuire neither fear, nor slavery, nor commitment from me, it already knows I am committed to be a good person. The field yet to improve is 1) energy spending wise, organisation 2) Better outfit looking 3) Financial earnings 2020 - I told it to myself so many times, visualised it, prioritised it this is my year . Better believe I am coming . If there is no way, imma create one . My resolution not for the year, but for this life by my pumping blood was is and will always be to work the hardest, to do the most, to get the most credit, to see the most, to understand the most, to experience the most, to be the most high of my fellows, to be the one to be the example of all . This letter is a letter to myself . But I wrote it here to say these words to you '' Be grateful for what you have done, rest, do more, be inspired by who you are and loyal to who you are , proud. Happy New Year( cause I will come here and there and will miss to congratulate you and I salute you my people, you worked so hard on it !!! ) Happy New Year. Stay healthy . Note to God, to the opposition, to the friends and family and to myself and my future, my past and present. I am coming...
I m sure that with such a spirit you will beat not only your old record but be free of this addiction from now on. Brother take your own drastic measures... Fight, fight for your life, your true life....
Well, oof. I done fucked up, got myself into an uncomfortable place(physically uncomfortable, I haven't showered since yesterday night thanks to some fucker dumping solvent in our water source, doesn't help that I also sat for the past few hours) while battling yet another huge urge. Survived for about an hour or so before the urge got me(It alrdy nearly did earlier, but I got lucky and didn't find the source of a trigger before the urge petered out. Spoiler: I eventually did after I truly fell). Perhaps I should be less rigid in my life and went to shower before I got this one thing done(The urges were stopping me from getting it done, which delayed my shower, which led to this mess).
Day 30 check in @ohayou615 japan is a beautifull country enjoy your trip and inform me if u come by south korea ...
Thank you! I will do my best. Best of luck bro. Our battle will be legendary. You are right. Much talk for me lately, very little action. I am confident however that I can get back on track. But again, I need to act. No more words.
Thank you! Wow, I didn't know you lived in South Korea. I'll definitely let you know if I get the chance to drop by.
@theman1 Thank you for responding bro. Let's show the meaning of dual to the world Killed day 7: A difficult day, found it hard to control the urges, but made it with the help of few works and a little stroll with my wife. Standing tall and determined. Determination wins. Good to be in the dual. It was a motivation factor throughout the day.
Brother yeah, you and me... Tomorrow at Christmas day it would be day 190! What a present! I wish these days and each day our hearts will be warmed by love, compassion, kindness and smile. So our Redeemer and Savior Jesus Christ will find our heart ready, a manger ready to receive Him into her. How this is done is simple. If we from our love for Him and grateful for His sacrifice to the Cross, do what He has asked from us. "You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you, then you will be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous..." For our brothers who do not believe or believe elsewhere, I wish we all together under the roof of true love can enjoy heavenly joys these days with our beloved ones. Peace, joy and blessings throughout the world.