35 and Older Accountability Group

Check in monday

 

checking in after a long weekend in anaheim. Still staying strong guys (and gals)

 

That's helpful. Just switched goal back to P & M from just P. Relapsed pretty hard this morning and last few days. Feel weak and lethargic. Have to remind myself what it will feel like if I succumb to the temptations. Each time I start to, I think this isn't bad at all. A little M won't hurt. Wasting too much of my life and energy on this. The filters I have set up on PC and Android have been helping, but need to adjust filters to take out P substitutes which is a pain to do since I threw out my email name and password for K9 Bluecoat. Will do best I can to move forward. Hope everyone has a great day and has strength to keep things moving forward.

Noticed an anti smoking campaign slogan that seems pretty relevant. "Every Try Counts".

 

Monday check-in - feeling good I've made it this far into my modest goal.

 

Arrived at day 4: lying in bed this morning with thoughts/images/positions of a graphic nature. Went back to sleep, woke up fine. Went about my day with no other real temptations.

 

Thank you

 

Yes ! Be strong changing the things you used to do for that will change that. I hope I get to 50 days you’re doing great

 

check in tuesday!

 

check in here 1 day

 

Back to day zero. Just M this time. Didn't take much.

 

That's cool. Didn't even realize I was taken off the ranking but good to know. Yeah, I think PM will work better for me.

 

Watched a nofap video on youtube yesterday and was made aware of another benefit of nofap. P is never real. Even if it's a recording of an actual couple it's staged doesn't represent the full picture in the real world. these things i lust after are actors. The majority of them don't have a lifestyle I envy. None of them really. Real life isnt' filled with hot women waiting around to pleasure me while I lay down and do nothing. Far from it. Having a meaningful relationship that also includes a physical component is hard work. When I watch P., I"m manipulating my mind into this fantasy that will never ever happen for me or for anyone else. That I can lay around and do nothing and have people satisfy me and I'll be satisfied from that even if it did happen. I need to meet a life partner already and stop with these unrealistic fantasies. Have no clue how I will get to that point, but I"m seeing that abstaining from P.M. is at least a good start.

 

checking in, bromigos.

 

Going to check in more often as I'm trying to build a very modest streak. At one day now. 1.5 days will be at 10pm this eve. Just reminding myself no P. and no M. Have to remember that P subs, won't count as breaking a streak but will definitely make things more difficult. I kept watching fully clothed massage videos on youtube. wish i could filter age restricted content on youtube.

 

Good day my brothers and sisters!
I am close to celebrating 100 days in this journey. I was asked privately to share my experiences or lessons learned in the past 100 days. I am copying my responses here in the hopes that it is useful:
Yes, I would be happy to share what I have learned or experience in this past 100 days: I feel more youthful. I am 49 and I feel like I am 30. My energy, sex drive, and stamina is back.
I never thought this was linked to PMO but this journey has showed me how anxious and fearful and stressed out I was. I feel calmer, with more space to breathe, to think, less reactive and more proactive.
I have also picked up a couple of good hobbies that I am pursuing...1. Learning Italian and 2. Playing the dizi flute. I have wanted to develop my skills in both and I am doing much better with both of them. Overall, I am experiencing freedom and kindness and space to breathe and for that I am fortunate. I hope this is helpful to anyone that reads it. Never give up!!!

 

i'm honestly feeling lost right now, forgive my ranting but i haven't posted here in a while, and writing in this thread seems to help me. I find myself questioning more and more if giving up P is really worth it. I've been relapsing with M, and i'm trying to get back on that wagon, because honestly, my fantasies are slowly just turning more and more into mind P. It started out with just memories, then fantasies, but for my brain, (and i suspect for a lot of our brains) i seem to be needing more and more exotic fantasies to keep me up. Seems to be what all addicts go through. And I know that this all will ultimately lead to watching P again. Lately my triggers have been stand up comedy routines, for what ever reason. I need a better way to stay dry. Trying to stay in the fight, but honestly its been getting harder and harder lately.

 

Check in wednesday