I was recently told of FANOS by @Jon82 and @1dayattatime and thought I'd open it up to the forum. Have any of you used it as a tool to help communication in your relationship, and do you think it has helped in recovery? I've done a bit of searching and found some useful information about it. Would you recommend preparing for each time in advance, or just say whatever you feel in the moment? Thanks!
We've found it useful. I don't tend to prepare for it but tend to reflect over the day when going through it. It's not a cure all but one thing it helped me realise when I would stagnate with recovery work, for some reason verbalising it during the "Sobriety" bit hit home how many days I could go with doing anything positive and would prompt me to do more. It also served as a good prompt to check in, we have a young family so getting time together can be hard and it's easy not to look at stuff because there's simply so much else going on with life. This helped create a space to check in.
For us it has been useful. We do it 2 times a week. I dont do too much prep. We take turns on each letter. I like that affirmation comes after feelings because usually her feelings have to do with the pain that i have caused so i think of it as a reward for being able to hear it.
Yeah, I think it would motivate you so you don't have to keep saying that you need to do more. I like that, it's possibly why it is that way. Thanks guys for the feedback!