Day XVIII. Fuck me, I made a great mistake today. At school we were talking about a greek author that we'll translate soon, Longus. His only work is Daphnis and Chloe, a novel talking about a boy and a girl that, after having passed together their childhood in the isle of Lesbos, fall in love. Now, the story is both about their adventures and about their love story. I was reading the book just half an hour ago, and I came accross a very hot moment in the story; a girl, Lycaenion, teaches Daphnis how to make love to Chloe. I haven't relapsed or fapped or anything but while I was reading it I got a strong erection and I felt guilty. The fact that i can have an erection only by reading is positive, but the fact that I had one is not! What do you say, is it bad for our focus to have these incidents?
Day 23. Had a dream today where I watched porn. It was about to turn into a wet dream but when I was close I did woke up. Then I change my sleeping position and kegel real hard and it stopped it for the most part.
I wouldn't label it good or bad. I'd just call it an experience. There isn't anything about it that violated your commitment to no pmo. The fact you observed it as it occurred could mean you are becoming more self aware, which is cool. Sexual stimulation is going to happen to all of us because sexuality is part of our make-up. Sexual desires come and go. If you just let it be, it will be gone before you know it.
Thanks for the appreciation. Dr Dispenza was the beginning for me to the path of true change. I will continue to read and re-read his works.
Day XIX. This evening, reaching the 20th day, I'll beat my previous stroke, which was from the 8th or 9th of December (I don't really remember anymore) to the 28th, when stupidely I gave myself a "Christmas present" and I PMOed. Times have changed since then. In that period NE where exaperating to say the least, I had 1 or 2 every week; now it's 13 days that i haven't had one. That means a lot to me, it will make everything easier to me. About my short erotic experience yesterday, I accepted it. Our sexuality is part of ourselves. Until next time, be well.