Hey Guys, I have not masturbated and had watched porn since 18 April 2018, that's almost 250 days something. But two days back I somehow convinced myself that porn is not a problem anymore and I must have successfully rebooted and out of curiosity I tried to awake my demon to see if he is dead or just sleeping in that dark corner and boy! that motherfucker still exists. I got powerful urges and could feel my brain filled with dopamine for I got high and just wanted to let go all of my sexual energy that I ve been conserving for so long. I just got this urge to masturbate so badly and I spent precious time watching porn. All those guilt was back even though I somehow saved myself from that sin of masturbation. The anxious feeling that I am cheating on my loved ones was back and I did start to feel depressed again and that constant thought of saving yourself was all over my mind. My self conciouss, which was stronger than before, kept telling me that I cant be trusted If I ever watch porn again. I know this is a relapse for me but Iam happy I didnt give in completely and I promise to myself I never will. This is to all the people out there who think in their corners of brain that only abstaining from MO would heal their dopamine receptors and make them feel happy in life again. I know this might be utterly dependent on the individual, the way and extent porn has corrupted his\her brain. But I honestly think instead of feeling high watching porn and constantly living in that guilt and fear of being unable to control yourself Its better to completely forgive yourself and know that yeah, You are an addict and an addict is an addict for life, its not worth taking chances. From this day onwards I pledge to never watch porn again and heal myself to the most of my capacity for the world is a great place to live in and enjoy. the only think that keeps me a lil happy right now is that I didnt physically damaged myself masturbating because I have been masturbating for 10 straight years and was physically devastated and its great that I have been 260 Days MO free. My next goal is to be almost 500 days MO free i.e 250 Days PMO free. Wish me luck! and People please take this addiction seriously and dont ruin the beautiful and powerful you for ten seconds of adrenaline and dopamine! Good Luck!!
Good progress. And yeah it is worthless to abstain only from MO. First of all it wont last long until you step wrong, and second you are still a dirty man with dirty thoughts towards women.
Well said. I know I am only a 10 second walk away from the edge of a cliff. Porn is like a blindfold.
So true. Watching porn to try "to awake my demon to see if he is dead or just sleeping" is the same as an ex-heroin addict taking a shot of heroin for the same reason. Thank you for posting your experience.
I was without P for over 2 years. And thought the same, let´s see if I try some soft stuff Psubs and the dosis got higher and higher again. Once an addiction, always an addiction. Of course if you stay longer away from the addiction the urge is less, but the demon can be awakened very easy. Now knowing that, I am much more careful. I cured my PIED after 90 days no PMO and 2 years plus no P. For this I am very happy. For training PE I believe in using my erection. I try not to ejaculate more than once in 10 days. Feels good to M without Ejaculation, also possible sometimes to O without ejaculation, that feels very good.
I completely agree with you But have a look at my reboot I was able to resist M even while watching porn https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/1-year-without-masturbation-but.205471/#post-1793402
Don't make promises which may be too hard to keep, or which will fill you with terrifying guilt when broken. We're all human, and we're all prone to mistakes. That's not an excuse to relapse, don't get me wrong. If you set yourself up against impossible odds however, you're destined for disappointment. Pledge yourself to do your very best never to watch porn again and you'll do fine.
Hey bro - I just want you to know you making this post is going to help so many people - Including myself. So the pain you went through is actually was used for a higher good in a way because I can totally relate to those cravings to watch again but reading this reminds me of the guilt and shame and inner conflict that happens right as I break my commitment. As Buddha says "half-hearted ascetic brings suffering to himself"
Porn daemon always sleeps in you and waiting to be fed. Always and always. People who are trying to watch porn on their long streaks just to find out how they feel about it are acting stupidly and they put poison back to their veins. Porn addiction is one of the worst shit as it is connected to sex which many men have as the main motivation to achieve something in their life. It is difficult to disconnect this addiction from healthy thinking as it is normal that you will crave sex and woman.
Is there anyone who thinks he can watch porn while rebooting? It would be like thinking you can use heroine while getting clean...
@captain sparrow feels that way (see his thread). It's interesting to follow his thought patterns through this experiment. It's too early, I think, to tell if it works for him, but 20 days ago, he decided that he needed a short break (10 days) from porn. I don't yet know how it turned out. I certainly wouldn't attempt this, because it hinders the brain in undoing the damage.
Faudrait alors que plus jamais regarder de porno ni se masturber éternellement et uniquement déboiter de la nana quand on ..
porn is the main culprit in your recovery process. porn is what we wanna quit. Masturbation without porn once a month is ok. but since you're highly addicted to it, it's better to just stop it altogether.
OMG! What a phenomenally foolish thing to do! Never do that again. Never jeopardize your happiness. Good luck man!
I’ve decided to never masturbate again, no sensual touching at all. I don’t plan to strictly cut out porn, but won’t really want to watch porn if I can’t touch myself. Ask me in 30, 60, 90 days how I’m getting on.
Totally agree. The dopamine receptors (or sex receptors) in the brain never go away once established. They are like long term memories. They can be woken in an instance - one slip is all it takes. I think of them as dusty old books in an ancient library. I intend keeping those books closed - forever.