There is a 23 year old guy....who is virgin and non experienced in relationships He has took the pledge to remain virgin till marriage. He has attained 250+ days without masturbation. ......so he gets urges whenever he step outside.......I mean there are attractive girls around him But how will he control his sexual energy till marriage Because for those who have not abstain themselves from sex.....they can get laid.....and cool down the fire..... But what for this kind of person Even if he finds a girl in future.....he will not do intercourse till marriage I know it sounds a bit funny and not "manly"......but how should he control the urge........ Or use that sexual energy
@u376 As Arnold Schwarzenegger once said: "You have to have a vision". He is referring to setting a big goal which you want to achieve. In your case is losing your virginity after marriage. "I look at those pictures and they motivate me". Here Arnold was referring to the pictures of bodybuilders and powerlifters he had on his bedroom wall at which he looked and they motivated him. In your case you should write your big goal onto a "goal card" and look at it at least twice a day, to motivate yourself and keep yourself on track. Hope this helped. Also well done on your 250+ days on no PMO, can't wait to get there myself
I remember watching that video.... simply amazing.......It shows dedication of Arnold... No actually losing virginity is not my goal......just protecting myself from judgemental society is important......because they see virginity as a failure.... That's why people confuses me....... That's why I analyze other people's life......who lost their virginity.....much earlier.....even they are not much happy That's why I thought to preserve myself till marriage..... My main goal is to become the person I dreamt of.......to be that change which I want in others....... Thanks for that goal card thing..... it's really motivating But......damn these urges....... sometimes they just block my mind...... Thanks for your time
I am much older than you, and for different circumstances I have chosen to redirect my sexual energy. I found an outlet in an ancient Taoist practice. There's a book titled Taoist secrets of love, cultivating male sexual energy by Mantak Chia. Although it is an eastern "religion" and I suspect you may be Christian, his approach is more practical and doesn't have any religious dogma. It's an old book and you should be able to download for free as a PDF online. You may find it offers you another way to handle the sexual urges. One word of caution, he does focus on sexual relationships and masturbation as a way to focus the sexual energy. You could use the practices such as the cool draw to help redirect the energy without focusing on the multiple orgasm approach he describes. I find the cool draw and the microcosmic orbit meditation (something he only goes into briefly in this book but you can find information on this in one of his other books) helps me to channel these energies in a healthy non masturbatory way. Good luck and reach out if you have any questions.
No...I am a Hindu.... You mean he advise masturbation to control urges....... that's not good Instead doing sex with partner would be better Ok....I will look for it But sir my question is.......is sex before marriage wrong or right Am I doing the right thing to wait till marriage.....or not I think I am doing the right thing .....as it helps me to become more focused on my development... What's your opinion
No he doesn't recommend masturbation. His books are mostly written to help couples and individuals achieve a deeper spiritual connection. His focus is on semen retention. The quote I attached was out of context. He believes there is no reason one needs to ejaculate even within marriage but he acknowledges it is a common practice in the west. As to your question about sex before marriage, that is not something anyone on this forum can answer for you. I do not believe there is a right answer. I was raised to uphold this strict mandate and felt a great deal of anxiety and shame being the only virgin amongst my friends for many years. For those individuals who are religious, their religions often dictate what they should practice (although most people don't). If you ask me what I personally would do if I could go back in time, I would enjoy my sexuality in a respectful and loving way. Your sexual energy will wane as you get older and you may not ever experience the intense pleasure your body can generate in your 20s. Women are also more beautiful in their youth and often more sexually desirous. Most of my male friends now lament their wives don't have the interest in sex they used to. So, from a purely enjoyment perspective I would get out there and enjoy yourself. If you have deep religious beliefs of your own, not ones placed on you by your parents, then you probably wouldn't be asking the question here. If you are able to find a lovely young woman and marry her in your 20s, and both of you want to hold out for marriage, that's wonderful and can result in a very special connection. I live in the US and very few people do that anymore but many of my Indian friends, who have had arranged marriages, seem just as happy. If your alternative has been obsessive masturbation to pornography followed by ball busting periods of abstaining, without any other outlet, that can be a tough path. Clearly you have a lot of young men on this forum who are finding their path but I can only imagine how hard it is to abstain in your 20s with all of your sexual energy surging thru your body. I would reframe this. I can tell you are a thoughtful guy. You are trying to do the right thing. Keep on that path, just ease up on yourself. Do some soul searching to figure out what is really important to you. Not masturbating, not having sex till marriage is noble, but it can be a form of self torture if the motivation is wrong. If you came to this site because you jacked off too much to nasty porn and it has sucked the life out of you, then you need to be careful in how you move forward. If you are a deeply spiritual man, seek out counsel from one of the elders in your Hindu tradition, someone you trust. Hope this helps. Just the opinion of one guy, take it as that.
Ok.....then I will sure consider this book Actually sir you are right.....when I see other non virgins ......then it somehow affects my confidence....... Actually now your reply is inspire me to remove that "pledge"...... because I think......there is not much wrong in protected sex before marriage........ But I think it should only with someone we are attracted to ......not with an escort... I will prefer to remain virgin.....till marriage rather than losing it with an escort Yes .. it's better to do actual sex rather than pmo.... But there are some risk factors involved with real sex Thanks a lot for considering me thoughtful..... Actually I like to analyze every action or habit before doing it.... Yes I am religious...... The religion told us to better control our senses...... And see.....now a days everyone is sad That's why I still think that abstaining till marriage would be good
I certainly agree loosing your virginity to an escort would be disappointing. I should mention the reason I am struggling with my issues relates to being married and having a wife who lost her libido shortly after she got pregnant. She has gradually become disinterested in sex and now I am essentially stuck in a sexless marriage. She has been very judgmental of my use of pornography as an alternative to sex and I became unhappy with that as well. I could leave my marriage but that goes against my principles and would be difficult for my children. So, don't put off exploring a natural and consensual relationship if you don't have to. There's no reason you couldn't meet a wonderful women with whom you could have a very loving relationship and save intercourse for after you marry. If you happen to meet a nice women who doesn't want to wait till marriage and you both feel good about sharing intimacy, be open to exploring that with her as long as you don't feel you are violating your personal beliefs. Good luck man.
Actually there is a post regarding lost in libido after pregnancy A girl who herself became pregnant describe that after first child.....women need some time to become again active .....it occurs so there should be enough gap between the next child....... it's kind of natural But still the thing which you mentioned.....many of people here are dealing with this......their partner are not interested in sex ......and they don't want to compromise their morals..... I think wives should still understand this .... Specially if their spouse have been loyal to them Thanks sir.....in last you have just pointed out my another doubt If a girl wants to do it before marriage.......then it will somehow become another dilemma for my morals...... That's why I think ....... it's better to abstain till marriage. ..... Because there are so many other things in life..... other than sex And I have noticed these urges are just temporary.....they sometimes resurface after 30-40 days......so I can control myself ......till then
Well i am a bit younger than you, as you already know bro, but i feel compelled to share a few things with you here: All of these statements you make: 1. 2. 3. All of the above statements you made are affected by the conventions of society. Sex (and of course PMO) is regarded as normal nowadays which is why you made the above comments. Convention is what makes you question your behaviour. But remember why you started PMO in the very first place. Do you remember? I do. It was in your journal! You were in school and one if your friends said that if your stimulate your genitals, it produces a really good feeling. Remember that? Of course you do That is also convention bro. What wouldn't you give to change your past and go back to being the kid you were before all this shit? I would give almost anything for it. As we grow up, we all have regrets about things we have done and i have never met a man or woman in my life who wouldn't give it all just so he could go back to being a kid and fix his life mistakes. And in today's sick society, almost all conventions are a failure of mankind. Social media has made people hollow and introverted and crazy for "likes". Sex has ruined the world; it has popularised prostitution and doomed the human race. Look at India. Sex. Sex. Sex. People. People. People. Society today is a big failure so take pride in following your own path. But remember- virginity can never come back when lost. That's why i even typed this reply bro. Whatever decision you male about this can never be undone in your life. So i hope you don't end up like the millions of disappointed men and women nowadays and make a decision which will make you wish you could undo it. So my advice is this- don't ask for opinions on such an important matter. Think it through yourself and determine the pros and cons of every alternative. Pave the path of your own life And then act on your decision! So far, the only reason you have stated to sex before marriage is that it affects your confidence. But confidence is your mental image of how society portrays you! And personally, in today's failed society, i don't care how it views me. Because what matters in my life is my opinion and my action. To hell with anything else! Build confidence from knowing you dare to do your own will (sex or not, make it your choice completely!). Hope i could help
Wow.... you really deconstructed it very good... ...that reference from my journal......... literally brought tear to my eyes..... You are absolutely right....... I started masturbation........ because my peers were doing it ......... On their advice I started it Still there are many who consider masturbation as healthy........ Actually this constant discussion regarding harmlessness of M corrupted our mentality Yes.....sex is natural...... But it's not something we can't live without..... That's why I will walk on my beliefs...... Actually......you can see that in above post I mentioned.....that there are many who are still sad and depressed.....even after losing their virginity Because brother.......I think that......when we become intimate with someone......and then they betray us......or let's say we both broke up..... that's pain is much bigger......than just dating them without any intimacy...... You have noticed one thing that most live in relationships ends up in betrayal.....or both of them getting depressed It's such a Deep cycle.....that it just messes our mind To be honest......both have it's pros and cons But if we look closely then it's better to wait till marriage Actually you are right I have seen many people commenting here .....that they wish they could wait till marriage But then there is another set who opposes this They say that by doing this.... you are not "exploring" sexuality And Mark my words......this all sexualization will increase day by day ...... It's all happening as it is mentioned in "Vedas"......but still that's a religious belief ..... That's confidence comment is also very good... Actually I have seen many guys in my life who were confident and moralistic.... They are like guiding source to me .... My end conclusion is that....I am open to all dating stuff and all But I will not do "it" before marriage Till then I have to balance this "sexual energy".....by channelizing it in other productive things Thanks a lot for your time
I am honoured beyond words right now bro. Please don't thank me; you have done more for me than i can ever do in return. Thanks so so much yaar
It seems this forum is giving you a place to work thru your beliefs. That's great. Stick with what you know to be your true desire. I think your plan is a great one. You can't control the outcomes of relationships. There will always be disappointments in life. If your decisions are made by you, with your best intentions, who can question them.
Yes.....this forum literally educated me regarding all this pmo thing For past 6-7 years I was in dark.... But after reading here different experiences and relating with some of those stories......I was able to abstain for this long 270 days without masturbation ....is really a big deal for me... Yes ....there is some ups and downs in every relationship......god has made this world like this But still let's hope for better