This is my first time posting. I've had this recurring thought that every time I try to quit and fail at it, I become less motivated to quit P. And tonight, just some minutes ago, I was weak and watched transwoman porn, something I vowed to never do again. It aroused me and I feel both disappointed but I also feel a buzz. Tomorrow I know I'll tell myself to quit once again but somewhere deep I feel like I'm lying to myself. I believe I'll quit one day but my future doesn't seem any brighter. Since noon, when the thought crossed my mind, I was just counting and wondering when the break down would arrive. This really sucks. I wonder why we ever get in this deep in the first place. Sometimes I feel like throwing away my phone if it will help resist the urge, because it's the channel I always use. But another day comes, I can only hope that hope comes back to me. I don't want to believe this is what has become of my life.
Been in that spot and worse. It overwhelms you and makes you feel helpless and directionless. You have to keep pushing and fight past it. Relaspe is honestly, part of the process. Keep going and going. You either fight or you don't fight. Only two ways about it.
If I had a nickel for every time I said to myself, "Man, I really gotta stop this." I'd be rich. So I feel your despair brother.
Iv been there 1000 times. We all have. I try to think if I had to discuss what I look at with my daughter one day.
That's until you got one good streak and it will probably last forever. Never give up. Ask God for redemption.
Matt, you give a great idea to help prevent relapses: think of the embarrassment if you get caught. What if my wife really found out? OMG.....horrible.
I forget where I saw it, but it was from a fellow Fapstronaut who has posted on these forums many times. His signature says something along the lines of: If you feel like you're about to relapse, call your mother. Nothing kills an urge like talking to your mom. I've actually done this, and it has helped immensely - URGE. GONE.
Buddy, even I have gone through similar situation, but I have decided to help myself now. You, also discuss with forum members here. It's a very positive forum. Let's help each other. Remember- why do we fall? Only to rise again. Set a target of 30 days at first... Then next 30 and then go on like that. Let's take it day by day. Also, gym/meditation etc help. Contact if u need any help wrt meditation.
Trigger!!!!! Inappropriate language Yes I have a wife; no daughter Yet but these are my thoughts I got married in may can I not fuck her like I want to cause of P? A little abrupt but something we consider. Let's be honest. Won't dig deeper. Maybe one question is enough.
I wish we could all tell our wives but let's be honest. Let's pray for forgiveness and heal. Good luck to all.
Count the days and work towards a new hobby. But don't be too hard on yourself. I struggled with cumpilation porn every fucking day for decades before I could get a month free. Now its been almost 120 days. You can do it. I can do it. WE CAN DO IT, KEEP TRYING.
You have to learn from the relapse and carry on. What other option is there? At least you know, deep within, that you are making an effort to deal with P&M. A right motive will gain its right reward.
Something that has really helped me is to only check my phone in the morning and just before I go to bed. Therefore, I do not get addicted to surfing through images mindlessly throughout the day. I think if you expose yourself to social media a lot it can really tempt you to PMO. So many girls on social media now post revealing or suggestive photos