Romance

I think the most romantic things are not necessarily the grand gestures, but the little acts of kindness we show each other on a regular basis, or the things that shake up the routine in a way that makes the other feel valued, loved and thought about. Any gift that shows how much we know each other. Any time one of us is willing to compromise when getting our way is more important to the other partner and will bring them more joy. Making the effort to have breakfast together every day, however busy we are, so that our day both starts and ends together.

Grand gestures are great, but it is those little things that provide a romantic foundation to the relationship and make us both feel loved.

 

I agree with @samnf1990. My partner and I never plan the grand gestures that you would see in some cheesy 90's RomCom. Rather, we regularly surprise each other with subtle acts of empathy and compassion (ex: Coffee is waiting for when one SO recognizes a stressful day is ahead of the other). Our annual gift giving is decidedly un-commercialized, as we put money toward experiences with each other. This has formed the most romantic foundation I ever dreamed of.

 

See, I think the little things are great, but also every once in a while a big gesture is nice. For instance, before I knew about my husbands addiction, I got him 10 laps to drive a Ferrari 458 Italia (his dream car), then for Christmas I made a book of our relationship with all our memories, and for his birthday I threw him a surprise party with all his friends (there were like 20 people at the house) and we all pitched in to afford a pool table (but my husband didn't use the money for the pool table lol). But still, those were the big gestures I did for him (aside from Valentine's day stuff like favorite candy, dinner, stuffed animal,etc.). On occasion, I would bring my husband coffee if he wanted coffee(since he needs coffee like five times a day) or bring him lunch to work... But yeah I combine small and big gestures.

My husband has given me roses on occasion, taken me out on dates. He got me a locket necklace I liked. He cooks breakfast on the weekends, which to me is super sweet. My husband got me a Samsung tablet in the first couple months of dating because it was on sale on a 2-year plan and it was the note tablet and as a writer, he figured I'd like it. My husband took me to my favorite graveyard and we had a picnic. I know to most that sounds like WTF but since I love hanging out in graveyards (because they are quiet and you can just kind of escape from fast paced society) he took me there for a date which was cute.

 

It's amazing how much we have in common... Also a little eerie.

 

So.... I've been known (in past relationships) to bust a serious romantic move...
In my current relationship - and I Literally just asked... Apparently thats a Man thing to be romantic...??....
Well.... Alrighty then
Anywho...
After a few forced thoughts...
My SO says that the most romantic thing I do, is everyday he works I make and pack his lunch and his coffee, (I bring it To him every day, as he tends the kids)
I make him a homemade dinner every night.
I do his laundry. (he always has work and house clothes)
I set a towel out for him every day to give him the opportunity to shower.
I fill him a waterbottle and place it by the bed.
Whether its a hospital day or a me work day or whatever.
It's the little things for him.
Even though I'm a great gift giver on his birthday and anniversaries and stuff...
He doesn't see it as romantic.
The daily stuff is.

And as far as romance from him to me?
I'd say I don't like surprises or gifts much either...
Although there is something I decided I wanted the house to have, but the environment in which we live doesn't really allow it.
So when he showed up with it randomly?
I thought that was Amazing.
Until his anniversary gift ate my anniversary gift.
Yes, you did read that right.
But
.... Then he did it again!
Points for persevering!
I Love him, I do.
It totally worked twice.
It was great.

So... I think romance really depends on the person (people?)
We aren't mushy people.
My idea of romance is not candles and that crap.
It's him today... Putting the weed Wacker down the first time I asked to help me reach the tall part of the wall.
It's not like romance-romance...
But it's enough to count, I suppose.
Yeah.
And as I'm typing this he's talking about the Lions Defense Coordinator.
And laughing.
... Look that guy's name up.

Romance.....
It's in the eye of the beholder.

 

Hmmm. In terms of grander gestures:

1.

In 2008, I was dating a woman who was about to turn 30. One of my skills is video production and editing--so over the three months before her birthday, I went around and interviewed about 20 of her closest friends and family, and basically gave her an edited video montage of all her favorite people, saying wonderful things about her. When the video started playing and she realized what it was, she burst into tears (happy ones thankfully!).

Sadly we had a bad breakup about 8 months later. Of course I put myself in the video. I sometimes wonder if she trashed it or if she still has it.

2.

My ex-wife is a total foodie and was a huge fan of Top Chef. One night, we decided to go to dinner (I made it sound spontaneous, but I'd gotten reservations in advance). I told her we should try someplace new ... and I drover her to Craft, which is a farm-to-table restaurant in Los Angeles owned by Tom Colicchio (from Top Chef). As soon as she saw the sign she said, "NO F***ING WAY!" It was a fantastic dinner!

3.

When I was 24, I had a pseudo-relationship with a girl who had a very similar taste in music and movies (particularly 80's music and movies).

(I say pseudo-relationship because we never actually dated ... we just had a very affectionate/flirty friendship)
​

On her birthday, I gave her a mixed CD. However ... along with the obligatory mutual favorite songs that we had shared in conversations, each song had a quick line or a monologue from one of her favorite movies in-between. I also designed some kick-ass artwork for the jewel case too, and I made it look like a legit CD with a barcode, record label address, the works. I probably got a little carried away with it--she loved it, but she was so overwhelmed by it that she thought I was way more into her than she could reciprocate.

4.

Hot-air ballooning for senior prom. That's right.

*********************************

I don't know if this is romantic per se, but when I was taking a 4-hour test for my orange belt in Krav Maga, my ex-wife secretly went to the parking structure at the gym and filled my entire truck with orange balloons. I think about that somewhat frequently. I was a really lucky guy.

 

Here's how my wife bagged me forever.

We were about 20 or something, and at that stage in my life I was eating a lot of LSD. I mean vials and vials. One day, when I was at the bottom of a vial, I did a rinse, where you put a tiny bit of alcohol in there to wash all the residue out. Anyone whose dealt with vials knows that you always get way too high when you do this.

Anyways - I did my rinse and then biked out to a nearby beach. We live in a relatively wild and remote area. I locked my bike and proceeded to walk south for 3-4 miles on the beach, through the dunes, to get to a nice spot with these giant dunes and an incredible view. By this time it was clear to me that I had taken far too high a dose, and that I was probably not really going to enjoy myself.

I did my best to enjoy the scenery and settle down, but I was just too high. My sympathetic nervous system must have been going full blast, and I knew it was just the beginning. I didn't really want to go back home to my college roommates, so I decided to just stick it out. Suddenly, in the distance, I saw someone walking my way, which is unusual in the spot I was at, I was really out in the cuts. I got a little nervous about it, but after a while (the view where I was was so complete I saw her about 20 minutes before she could get to me) I realized it was my girlfriend.

She recognized my state and kept me company and generally loved on me and reassured me and walked with me and talked with me and turned what was going to be a long and draining day into one of the best memories in my life. She had never been to the spot I was at before, but she knew what beach I was going to. She had just followed my footsteps on the wet beach and then seen me up high on the bluff. She told me I had the most lovely footprints she had ever seen.

That day I realized I had something special in my wife. No matter what crap we've been through, or put each other through, she's always been that one special, irreplaceable person to me. She got burned onto my heart that day.

That's awesome.

 

Hahahaha ... hilarious!

Nice save.

 

****swoon****

 

Oh gosh I got nothing. Does the toilet paper holder I got for Christmas count?

 

I got a mop in a old relationship once... I think it depends on how much you appreciated the gesture...

 

When I was probably about 14-15, I remember one Christmas where we were all sitting around opening presents, and my mom opened this book from my dad:

https://www.amazon.com/Speed-Cleaning-Jeff-Campbell/dp/0440503744/

She had sort of a half-smile (more like a 20% smile) ... flipped it over and looked at the back, and then a minute later got up and went to the bedroom for the rest of the night. Like, she was already trying to be supermom ... and here's my dad giving her a gift that essentially said, "here's how you can clean the house even faster!" I still can't believe that. I have no idea what was going through his head to make him think that was an appropriate Christmas gift. He must have been just a little older than I am now, at the time.

Suffice to say I'll never be getting my SO a gift that involves toilet paper or cleaning.

 

My parents have been married like 40+ years.
My dad, oh so famously... Every Xmas, loved watching my mom open presents..
One year I remember was a corded phone box.
And another a blender box.
Inside the boxes... Was always something else.
She was Always surprised.
Anything from nicknacks to jewelry or tickets to a play for date night.
Something she always loved.
Over the years my dad got better at the boxes... Like when they needed a new coffee pot?
She was excited about the coffee pot box.
It was a necklace.
He had taken the coffee pot out a just wrapped it and made her open it a couple of presents later.
That was so boss of him.
Not the best father...(growing up)
Always a amazing husband.