Gotchya. If you could pass one message along to him for me it would be this: Find a counselor who can help dive deeply into the malignant emotional processes and lies you've absorbed even from your childhood. Alongside my reboot, I started seeing a counselor. My own hard-mode reboot is just as much about my emotional and spiritual well being as it is about my sexuality. The two are inextricable. It's amazing how helpful a professional, who knows what they're doing, can be. To clarify, I mean counseling just for him, not for the two of you. I started counseling for myself, on my own, without even my wife's input. Now she would agree it's been one of the single most important steps I've taken to heal our marriage.