I understand the p and m but why o? Is this implying I shouldn't have sex with my wife? I can't for at least 45 days anyway because of other circumstances but after that should I still abstain from sex with her?
A perfect reboot involves complete abstinence from pmo, mo and o. This is because we have an addiction and you need to be free from all forms of sexual stimuli till you reboot. Having said that if you have a wife or a gf it wont be prectically possible to do that coz they too have their feelings. So you can have normal sex but without any p or thought of p throughout sex. Also it would be best if you can keep few days gap between sex.
First off, there are many ways to do the reboot. Some decide to go what's called hard mode, no Os for a set length of time, typically 90 days. Some say only Os with the significant other. You get the set the rules. If your wife is aware of what is going on (and, as a wife, I really hope she does!) talking to her about what she thinks is a good idea! My husband came to me with the idea several weeks ago, giving me the option of hard mode or us still having sex and he and I are currently doing 90 days hard mode, no intentional Os (wet dreams don't count) for either of us. He's a PMO addict of 20 years and I'm doing it along with him to support him. I slipped up and MOed 7 days ago. He, however, is on his 22nd day, no PMO. He has two separate trackers so he can keep track. I'm actually learning a lot about myself and MO by abstaining and also my slip up. I'm glad I'm doing no Ms for me, actually. Side note, for us, the reboot has already been immensely helpful. In fact, it's basically saved our struggling marriage. PMO is an intimacy killer, and I don't just mean sexually. By doing something called FANOS and 30 minutes a day of cuddling, we are communicating better than ever before and literally falling back in love with each other. It's beyond amazing. I'll tag you in a post that has more info, in case you are interested. Also, we have a private group here for wives/GF (and males, although none have joined yet) of PMO addicts. Your wife is welcome!
Oh, I forgot to answer your other question. Why. We decided to go hard mode because we were willing to do anything to help my husband with this. He's suffered for 20 years and it has had a very negative affect on our marriage. (A big part due to the lack of connection, meaningful conversation and nonsexual touch I craved.) We have been married for 11 years and felt 90 days was a drop in the bucket and well worth the time if it worked. Even if it doesn't rid him of his porn cravings, we've already experienced so much good from this that it's been worth it many times over already. The point isn't that Os are bad, especially Os with your wife. But if you were trying to quit smoking wouldn't you stay away from anything that could trigger a relapse? Bars where others smoke. Spending time with smokers on their smoke breaks. Ect. In this case, your brain has connected the pleasure of O with porn, something you want to quit. So no Os for a period of time will, hopefully, rewire your brain for normal sexual experiences. For more info, read this: https://www.nofap.com/rebooting/ "Hard Mode: Abstaining from Porn, Masturbation, and Orgasm Altogether We lovingly nicknamed this mode “Hard Mode,” as many of our members are video gamers. Abstaining from PMO altogether includes barring orgasms with another person. Many rebooters do a Hard Mode reboot by default since they do not have partners or are not sexually active. Rebooters with partners can still do Hard Mode, but will want to get their partner’s on board with the idea of abstaining from sex or learning non-orgasmic sexual techniques. One such technique, karezza, has been successfully practiced by some members of the community. While Hard Mode may seem like a more difficult reboot than P- or PM-Mode, Hard Mode rebooters won’t have to deal with the Chaser Effect, and they may experience the benefits of rebooting more quickly than if they’d done an another type of reboot." But, again, you don't have to do hard mode.
