So for karezza, I think the entire point of it is bonding and connecting with your spouse in an intimate way. Breathing together, looking into each others eyes, caressing, etc. That's the benefit/point of it. My husband said after (and I think he liked it more than I did) that it felt like we were literally one.
Is it awkward at first? is this really reading material/images that they should be looking at when they have PA?
It was a little awkward at first yeah but then it was fine. As far as the book, I'm the one reading it, not him. I'm not through it yet so I don't know. So far I think it's OK for him if he wanted to read it but I'm not even halfway through yet.
And in karezza, you don't change positions... You have to work together as you are. Bonded. Kissing and whatever. Tantra - Is more mobile, as long as you aren't moving within each other.. And don't separate
@phuck-porn! @anewhope @Digger @kropo82 Just tagging some people that were apart of convo earlier (if i missed your name i apologize) i realize im taking us back awhile. but i quoted a section here and i was hoping to get more insight, since this is closest thing to what my husband does i can find.. (maybe) ok heres my question i understand that a mans mind can compartmentalize P and their relationship.Like a waffle. (this question may have been addressed in thread but i couldn't find direct answer) Now my question for you and anyone else that wants to answer.... How do/did you go from Ming to P to Ming to images/fantasies of people you see at work/in real life (that you may interact with)? How does the progression work? Or did you start at the person and add the P? Did you consider the "person" not a person. just an image?
For me it wasn't really a progression. Masturbating to porn is erotic and pleasurable, and masturbating to imagined scenarios with people I know is erotic and pleasurable. Neither lead to the other, they were just both there. I considered the person a person and the image a person, though I imagined her personhood incorrectly... Spoiler: Trigger I would imagine that the person was thinking "Here Tim, let me pull may panties aside and show you my pussy" when she was probably thinking "Shit, how did I end up in this terrible job and when can I go home"
Actually thinking about it on the cycle home although neither led to the other porn did tend to blot the other out, it became harder to masturbate to just fantasies, I needed porn
hmm thats an interesting concept. so like picturing in your head *insert preferred thing here* got boring after a while. To the point that you craved to actually see *insert preferred thing here*?
No, not that, though I have heard people report that here. It was more that My own fantasies lacked novelty, I could dream up new situations but not new women. Porn has the ability to totally suprise you with how stunning and arresting an image or a video is. And the quest for that moment can take you through hundereds of images. My own erotic daydreams cannot really compete with that. It's real. I know we can debate this, but when you look at a photo you know that the person was really there and really like that. But your fantasies are just make-believe. I'm not sure if these are all the reasons, or even true, but it was something like that. Sometimes, once I'd started trying to give up porn it felt like my psyche was trying to force me back to porn by making it impossible to masturbate to fantasy alone, with no new images. A silly thought but that's how I rationalised it.
it sounds like you'd get bored of the women you'd think of. (not sure if you did this....but Even if it were you SO?) so you turned to P for the "new". Do i understand you correctly? i wonder if the "new" is why men oogle...... they are looking for something new. or their brain is... they are substituting the P for the outside world. Scanning through all the women they see in the day to find new parts to catch a glimpse at.
I started by fantasizing about girls in school and the occasional good looking teacher... P was mental fuel later when i was grown.