Completed 13th module Alhamdulillah! My quizzes aren't going that bad actually. Not as bad as I initially thought so. Alhamdulillah. The mistakes I am making will only help me do better in the mids inshallah!
Completed 14th module Last one to go... EDIT: Realised that the 15th module is a recap/revision of everything we had covered in the course so far. Which means, I will cover it right before giving the exam inshallah! I am done for now. Subject 4/5 completed. Alhamdulillah. Now... As I had pointed earlier in one of my posts that things had already gone too far for me to have a consistent moderate study approach which is why, sleep had to be compromised and once again, I had to binge study one day before exam. Staying up all night etc. I have much to say on this and it all relates to overcoming procrastination, doing things in advance etc. Which is probably the number one challenge I need to deal with this year from now onwards. Anyway, we will see all of that after exams because right now, have no choice except to study As for subject 5, I will see how to deal with it tomorrow. Right now, my aim is to sleep until I feel rested and fresh. Have a slow start to morning, recharge and then get to preparing for exam of subject 4 (the subject I just covered). Hope I will be done with the exam by 9 PM tomorrow inshallah. Plus, need to course T homework, project task, reading and commitments. Despite the madness rush, I haven't compromised on my commitments towards others alhamdulillah and that is something I should be grateful for. I have certainly compromised on the commitments I made to myself e.g. sleeping on time and waking up early, reading consistently and doing course T h.w. anyway, baby steps
8/5, Wed Sleep time: 7:30 AM Wake-up time: 12:00 PM Nap: None 1- Quran 1 Juz Did 50 percent of a juz Still grateful 2- Did I meet my study target? Uni Study: Completed subject 4 modules Course T: Homework Course C: No goals today. 3- Goal H Task R 4- Did I meet my reading target? Read 1 chapter 5- Project Task None
Bismillah! Hope you are doing well dear reader(s) Well rested (as much as one can be one their entire sleep schedule is flipped) Here’s the thing: I would love to finish up my first exam before 8 PM tonight. I hope to go to sleep at a decent time. So that I can go to sleep on time again tomorrow. I have my morning class on Saturday and I don’t want to take any risks about that. Since I finished up subject 4 yesterday, I feel somewhat relieved alhamdulillah Nervous about preparing and givingthe exam today and I am afraid I won’t even score average marks. Hopefully, I do better than that inshallah
I'm in the same condition i guess. I have a science background actually till 12th grade and after that i did my graduation and masters in business studies. And currently I'm teaching science and commerce subjects in my own academy. But now I'm going for Amazon virtual assistant, E-commerce and digital Marketing courses.
I procrastinated an hour, had lunch etc. Basically haven't even started yet. And feel like I am avoiding it! Okay, Zee. What's the point of delaying the inevitable? You can only block out reality for a given time and then, you will have to at some point face it. If you keep delaying, the anxiety/stress/chances of failure will keep increasing! And once you open the door to reality, it's all going to flood you! So don't let the flood build up in the first place. Just START. And let's get this over with! Bismillah!
Prepared Modules 1-4 (took me 1.5 hours) Prepared Modules 5-7 (took me 50 min, I had a 30 min avoidance break before that)
Umm... I got distracted. Accidentally. I came across some emails from two years ago. A conversation with someone close. And I was just so surprised at the messages. I kind of forgot I talked about so many things with them. I laughed, smiled and almost cried when reading the emails. Then the realisation that it all happened two years ago... felt so unreal. It made me super super emotional. Now I have closed them. I can't even consider deleting them. I won't look at them again though because I don't think my heart can handle it. Back to studying. I am late according to my planned schedule. Bismillah
Prepared Modules 1-4 (took me 1.5 hours) Prepared Modules 5-7 (took me 50 min, I had a 30 min avoidance break before that) Fam break - dinner break - avoidance break lol Honestly, the prep wouldn't have taken me so long if it weren't for the fact that kept zoning out, had a hard time focusing at some points and experienced a lot lot lot of urges. Somewhere during this time, I prepared Modules 8-15 Gave my exam. Scored 90%. Please say mashallah and send a prayer my way that I don't perform too bad in the next few exams. Alhamdulillah
So this entire process, from the moment I started my prep and till the time I was done with my exam, with breaks, was 9 hours long. It could have easily be reduced to 6 hours. If I didn't take so many unnecessary breaks. Or even 7 hours is not too bad. Gone is my plan of sleeping early. Gone are the urges too... huh. Funny. Will have to address this properly after exams. This is too much of a problem. Have a few hours during which Option A: I can read, do some course T homework, task for goal H, complete a project task inshallah, and even shower etc. so I don't have to do to tomorrow lol Option B: Sleep for 3 hours and wake up again. But... I don't think I am sleepy at all. So... Option A it is!
Woke up super late. Feel brain foggy and lazy to start anything. I miss my early mornings. I don’t want to waste this precious summer time by having a messed up sleep cycle. Today, inshallah, I will do the following: Project task Goal H task Course T Prepare and give another exams
Having my second cup of caffeine because my brain felt so... down, lol. Officially kick-starting exam prep. Bismillah! Prepared Module 1-2 (took me 1hr 45 minutes with lots of zoning out in between + urges) Salah + open sky break + more time spent in chasing my cat that refused to cooperate
Struggling a lot with focus... sigh. Going to start again and try again. I wanted to get done with the exam earlier tonight but looks like it's not happening
Started again Module 3, 4, 5 prepared I am lagging in my preparation even more than yesterday Allah Musta'an The fact that trying to chase my cat and get it out from under the car has caused fatigue in my legs really tells how bad my stamina and endurance have gotten. Astaghfirullah, Zee. Module 6-7 + Dinner done! Module 8-9 Modules 10 - 14 Preparation sort of complete Just going to revise and give the exam. Not very satisfied though. Done with exam Scored really well alhamdulillah!!!
This entire process took me... 9 hrs, 15 min. Again. Ya'ni... You don't learn from your mistakes, do you Zee? Lol On a serious and worrying note: Experienced many urges. Strong urges and intrusive thoughts - wild fantasies/images. I am really struggling and once again, found myself considering relapsing. Just to get rid of it. But that's like getting rid of the symptom temporarily, knowing the root of the problem is something else and it's still present. Hmm... so. I am hungry. I have to complete course T homework. I want to sleep. I am tired. I had to complete the project task as well. Hmmmmm. Not sure what to do.
9/5, Thurs Sleep time: 4:30 AM Wake-up time: Don't remember Nap: None 1- Quran 1 Juz Did 25 percent of a juz 2- Did I meet my study target? Uni Study: 1/5 exams done! Course T: Homework - Made progress Course C: No goals today. 3- Goal H Task R 4- Did I meet my reading target? Read 1 chapter - Read just a little bit 5- Project Task None... I think. -------------- 10/5, Fri Sleep time: 4:30 AM Wake-up time: 12:00 PM I knowwwww astaghfirullah Nap: None 1- Quran 1 Juz Did 50 percent of a juz 2- Did I meet my study target? Uni Study: 2/5 exams done! Course T: Homework s Course C: No goals today. 3- Goal H Task R 4- Did I meet my reading target? Read 1 chapter 5- Project Task Hmmmmmm. The project task was causing stress, alhamdulillah did it finally!
Bismillah Morning/afternoon/evening human beings. Hope anyone who is reading this is in good spirits! I missed my class. I woke up on time but I was so so sleepy that don’t know how I went back to sleep. I was upset when I finally woke up, but honestly, my body felt like it had been hit by something. I blame my cat!! But also, I just have unrealistic expectations from myself maybe. I should listen to my body more. Plan of action… hmm. Course T homework Course C - catch up. The deadline’s nearing. I might take a break from uni study today. I can only afford to take a one day break tho so need to make sure I use it wisely
Haven't started yet. Having some + first I am supposed to start covering up course C lessons. I love the idea of getting done with all of it today. I can think/imagine how awesome I would feel and keep visualising the moment of victory BUT... What's making me feel hesitant and unwilling to start is this fear of not being able to achieve that. It's the idea that once I start, it might be way too time taking and I would hardly get anything done. And that's where my brain enters the procrastination mode. Cos it only sees this black and white image. Either not achieving anything or achieving everything. It's this or that, failure or victory. What my brain forgets, or doesn't realise is that there's something in between those two extremes. It's progress. I don't have to not start at all just because I feel like I won't reach the finish line. And I don't have to worry about reaching the finish line, which is the big final picture that can feel intimidating, rather I just need to focus on the first step. Come onnnnn Zee... you got this right?! BISMILLAH!
